At 6 AM today I was suddenly
overcome with the futility of all action and just laid back down. Cartoons came
on, and just to show you how low I felt, I actually watched a Roadrunner
cartoon all the way through! That set me back to sleep. I got up again at about
7:25 AM and finished my prayers, took my medicine (late).
Whether it is the August doldrums that account for my lethargy or whether it is
internal loginess that is the culprit, I cannot say. Perhaps I’m at the bottom
of my depression cycle; the feeling that things might get down to the wire by
the end of the month could be a contributing factor, as well as the repetitive nature
of all that needs doing, all the time, day after day. Or the examples of
stupidity and folly I see everywhere I look on the internet, where
the worst “are full of passionate
intensity.” Anyway, I can’t face Tolkien Tuesday today. Not just yet. I am sorry. Whether I do not do things and they pile up, or I do things and they seem pointless, both seem to be crushing alternatives. Perhaps a little quiet and a little patience will see me out of this slump. I hope so.
Well, for a start, this shall be the home for my Biographical Inventory of Books. After that, who knows?


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