12/8/2020: Feast of the
Immaculate Conception of Mary. Alarm went off at 6 AM, and I lay in bed for
about 20 minutes, then began getting ready. Out the door at 7 AM. Rosary, then
mass.
Home at 9:10 AM. Starting
breakfast for Kam, and myself. Ate, prayed, and then lay down a while. Up at
about 12:30 PM and made a sandwich and ate some broccoli salad for lunch.
Finished reading Omoo. At about 3 PM Susan and Andy come home; they have
tested positive for Covid-19 (almost inevitable with Fred waltzing around like
he was), and now must quarantine until the 15th. In the meantime,
Kam and I will stay away from them as much as possible, but I think we’ll get
it anyway. I ran over to FD about 4 PM to see if they had any vitamins (they
say C, D, and zinc are good to take on board) but they don’t carry any. So I
opened an account at HEB for delivery and ordered some for us all, including
some staples (juice, soup, detergent) that Susan asked me to get. It should be
delivered tomorrow between 8 and 9 AM. Made Kam corndogs and taquitos for
supper in a sort of long-distance operation. Started reading Cossack Fairy
Tales, watched Green Acres (a clip show), then read Bible. Now a
little after 10 PM, so some more reading, then bed, I think.
12/9/2020: Mom’s Birthday.
UP at 5 AM, and knew I was just awake. Prayers and Bible. I know that without my
daily routine of fixing supper, helping Kameron, etc. (knocked out of kilter by
the quarantine thing) my day will have little rhythm, so I must figure out what
to do with my time. Writing and editorial work suggests itself; also a daily
viewing of my DVDs. It would be prudent to stop going to the dollar stores and
to church for a bit. Hopefully by Christmas I shall be good to go again.
So. A little before 8 AM I
go out to put some recyclables in the bin and wait for my HEB delivery, and I
am just in time to see them driving away. I put S&A’s stuff on the kitchen
porch and take my vitamins in. I think I’m going to have trouble resisting the
Vitamin C ones; they’re just like little orange slice gummies! Make ramen for
breakfast and take my medicine. For lunch I have raviolis – eventually 4 cans!
Anxiety and boredom. Trimmed my beard; my chin looks a little pointed now. John called me about 1 PM and we talked a
while. About 5:30 PM they call me for some lasagna – it’s different, made with
jalapenos or salsa verde or something – and a breadstick. In the evening I
finish the Cossack Fairy Tales, then break down and order soda, cookies,
and pies from HEB, deliverable tomorrow. But then nothing until next week. I
hope. Anxiety and boredom, although I feel fine so far. Prayed rosary; finished
at 8 PM. Ready for Green Acres at 8:30 PM. Afterwards read BC comic
books then settled down to sleep.
12/10/2020: Up at 5:30 AM
after the usual intervals of waking and dozing. Spent a few minutes assessing
my health, trying to figure out if it was any worse than any other waking on a
cold autumn morning and finally thinking that it wasn’t. Prayers and Bible.
Dressed, took aspirin and vitamins. Now almost 6 AM.
Went out at 8 AM to wait for
my delivery. Started my rosary while waiting. About 8:20 AM the delivery woman
came. No Just Peachy HEB soda, but everything else, including Very Cherry Fruit
Cocktail. It was delicious, and I gave a can to S&A later. Started reading
lots more BC. At 10 AM I went and got the stuff for stew out of the garage,
where Andy had set it ready, and started stewing. Watched a bit of Patton.
At 12:51 PM John came over and dropped off a fruitcake (not the little bar
fruitcakes, but a whole big round one). The stew (with pork roast, mushrooms,
onions, carrots rice, and taters) was ready at 3 PM, which was earlier than I
imagined, being made as it was on my little burner. And yummy it was, too. Been
eating pumpkin pie and drinking diet soda on and off all day, as well. It’s now
8:30 PM and Green Acres is on.
Bed soon thereafter.
12/11/2020: Up about 6 AM, I
guess, and then prayers, Bible, and rosary. More B.C., Perry Mason, and
pumpkin pie for breakfast, then vitamins and medicine. About 11 AM Susan and
Andy asked that, if I was going to the store, I would get them some cereal
(either Apple Jacks or Cinnamon Toast Crunch). Since I had been going to go
maybe Saturday, I went ahead and went, getting more fruit cocktail, some garlic
pepper and lemon pepper, a jar of cheese dip, and paper towels as well. (They
had CTC but not AJ.)
Over the afternoon I ate a
can of fruit cocktail and the dip with Ritz crackers. Got through all the BC
comics (there are more duplicates than I remembered).
I had messaged Kenny about
our situation yesterday, and today he replied. He asked me to be careful (as if
I wouldn’t be – he was just showing his concern). I don’t think anyone quite
understands my position. 1) I don’t want to die. 2) On the other hand, except
for any suffering I might undergo, I don’t really care if I die. 3) Ever since
my TIA, I feel all my time has been a bonus. 4) In that bonus time, I have been
baptized and joined my church, written and published my book, so I have
accomplished my life needs and ambition. 5) I’m next in line after Mike to go.
6) I don’t have a spouse or children to leave behind to be cared for, although
I do have family who would mourn me. 7) If I do die now, I will be spared quite
a bit of suffering and stupidity, which I feel is coming. 8) Although I would
probably miss some good things to come, I don’t think they would compare to
Heaven. 9) Suppose this world was the only thing there is, and this life is all
there is, and death was simply the cessation of existence. So what? No life
would be long enough to satisfy you and you’d still have to die sometime. If
the world were pointless natural development, what inherent point would life or
death have then? 10) But I do believe in God, Heaven, and the ultimate family
reunion, so death is not despair to me. 11) If I die now, I don’t have to see
anyone else I love die while we’re still here in the muddle.
At 5:30 PM I called in and
got the leftover pork stew for supper. Watched some “Pride and Prejudice”
on TCM. Saw a short of Mark Hamill on Laurel and Hardy on TCM and passed it on
to Kenny on FB. Now a little after 7 PM, and I am stuffed with stew. Posted on NOT. Put the heater on as it had
dipped into the 50’s. Bed about 9:30 PM.
12/12/2020: Woke up a little
after 2 AM and spent about 20 minutes writing out a dream. The room feels hot.
The outside temp is 50 degrees and only going to get warmer so I’m cutting off
the heater, then trying to get back to sleep. Posted “Finding Dori” on NOT.
Left arm a little numb. 3:45 AM and going to try to lie down again.
Up at 6:30 AM and decide
that I’m up. Prayers (with a bit of added earnestness) and Bible.
What a strange day, rather
wandering and unfocussed. Watched Popeye’s “Spinach Fer Britain” on TCM
at 9 AM. Beef ramen for breakfast. Gathered quotes from Lafcadio Hearn into the
Commonplace book. Posted on NOT. Ate rather too much over the day, including
drinking about 5 cans of diet soda; sent over a slice of pumpkin pie for
Kameron at about 2 PM. Asked John earlier via e-mail to suggest a writing
project, and he said perhaps a Goldfire hard reboot, so I wrote a page
or so and found it diverting. Watched bits of “The Man Who Came to Dinner”.
Prayed rosary about 5:20 PM. Found and messaged to Kenny some pictures of Mom’s
Shirley Temple doll. It’s now 7:16 PM, and I’ve had a chicken ramen with Ritz
crackers for supper and taken my medicine …
Susan just called. Andy’s
Aunt Janet dropped by some stew and cornbread and Susan asked if I wanted any.
Put on my mask and took my little pot to the door and she brought me back some
stew (I didn’t want cornbread right now; too full). Good stew; lots of meat.
Susan says Andy is feeling rather low at the moment. Now 7:42 PM. Watched most
of “A Matter of Life and Death” with David Niven, Kim Hunter, Raymond
Massey, etc. Some reading then bed.
12/13/2020: Third Sunday in
Advent, and for the good of all I’m stuck at home again. After waking up in the
early hours of the morning to record a dream and make some notes for “Koppa”
(a try at a Goldfire reboot) I got up about 5:30 AM, said my prayers,
read my Bible, prayed my rosary, and then felt that yes, I would live for a bit
yet. Straightened the house, showered, dressed, and now at 6:30 AM I feel ready
for YouTube mass.
The day pootled along. I
kept a fast till noon, Susan called me just before noon, and said that there
was ramen, cup soup, and bread awaiting me in the laundry room, which I went
and got. She also told me that Andy had a very upset stomach, though whether
that was the Covid or his yearly sinuses is a bit of a toss-up; probably one is
aggravating the other. Made ramen sandwiches for lunch and watched some old
Simpsons. The day trundled along: I ate cookies, drank soda, and finished off
the fruitcake. Tried to watch the new Fox animations. Sigh. About 9:30 PM tried
to play some DQ8 but I dropped the controller and I think it’s now broken.
Checked the “What’s Where” and the box with the other controllers is in the
attic. Of course. Probably stuck there until Andy’s well enough to get it for
me. No games, no DVDs for a while. It’s now 11:10 PM. What will tomorrow bring?
12/14/2020: Up at 6 AM. I
believe that having the heater on may be raising my temperature and causing a
proliferation of dreams. Anyway, I believe I was saved by a voice in my dream
from making a mistake, call it my conscience if you will, or perhaps even a
spiritual intervention. We are left with these ambiguities, so that we are free
to make a choice. Prayers and Bible, then got dressed. Looked at FB and caught up diary. It’s now
6:46 AM. Decided neither to walk to DG or order from HEB today.
Wrote a bit on Koppa
again. Went out at 9 AM, saw the garage was open, so started wash. Grabbed some
eggs for my breakfast ramen. Listened to GGACP. Ate cookies on and off through
the day. Switched load at 10:30 AM, the at 11:30 AM into the dryer. About 4 PM
Susan called and gave me the leftover stew from Aunt Janet, two salads, and
some peanut butter cookies (also from Aunt Janet). I had just started watching
the Laurel and Hardy marathon that had begun at 11 AM. Andy called me at 6:30
PM and asked if I would take out the bins, and I said yes of course I would. It
was already dark, of course, but it seemed eerily late, much later than it
should. Perhaps it was because how cold and quiet the neighborhood was. Watched
“Way Out West”. Rosary at 9 PM. Watching some DQ 11 on YouTube, and it
seems to have commercials every 5 minutes! I’ve started reading “Oliver
Twist”, which will probably be my bedtime reading then off to sleep. A cold
day; I’ve had the heater on for all but two hours. Finally drifted off a little
after 11 PM.
Notes
Looking back reminds me of
the already quickly fading memories of the worst of Covid and the quarantines.
If I could give my past self any advice, it would be stop being so dramatic and
stop eating so much sugar. Nowadays I get about one delivery per week with HEB (with
much healthier stuff, I hope); it’s weird to think of a time when I was more
hesitant about it. The Goldfire reboot only got to about two chapters
(both here on the Niche now). Enjoyable, but hard to sustain. For all
the Green Acres I was watching (it was a novelty at the time) I have very few
memories of the show plots, just of their routine shticks and the ambience of
their times. I have had my seasonal indulgences of pumpkin pie, eggnog, and
fruitcake, and the cold weather has thoughts being lightly turned to stew and
chicken and dumplings. After what seemed like a very long summer and a very
short fall (it’s not technically winter until Dec. 22), it’s heater weather
again.
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