Well, for a start, this shall be the home for my Biographical Inventory of Books. After that, who knows?
Saturday, April 24, 2021
New DVDs
Sunday, April 11, 2021
Run Off Into The Shadows, I Guess
Monday, April 5, 2021
Elf and Bear: The Conclusion of Chapter One
The
bear hunkered down on all fours and the elf climbed on his back, clinging on
top and holding onto the great beast’s fur.
Bear squatted even lower, and then with a leap he cleared the creek wall
and lumbered off, crashing into the night.
Soon they had left the last dying flickers of the goblin’s fire far, far
behind them.
Bear
trotted along at a great pace through the frosty woods, while overhead the
stars glittered like ice through the ragged clouds. At last, when he judged that they had gone a
safe distance, he paused to rest under a large fir tree. The elf slid down from his back.
“Blast,”
said Thornbriar. “I’ve forgotten the key
for these chains.”
“Let me
see, said Bear. The elf hobbled over and
the bear leaned close to examine the lock.
Then, extending one long claw, he inserted it into the keyhole. A few clinks and clanks and the manacles sprang
open with a snap. Thornbriar picked up
the chain and threw it off into the bushes.
“Bear,”
he said, turning to his friend. “How in
the world did you find me? I thought I’d
got myself lost good and proper. In
fact, I thought for a while that I’d never see home again.”
“Well,
my nose still works,” said Bear shyly.
“I got worried when you didn’t get back for supper, so I went to look
for you…and, well…to apologize. I
tracked you to Dr. Gilpin’s house, and then into the woods. About ten yards away from that ravine I
sniffed and said to myself ‘Goblins!’
And when I poked my nose down to check it out, there you were.”
“And
just in time, too,” said Thornbriar.
“You saved me from a life of ignominious servitude, old fellow.”
“Well,
you wouldn’t have been in that mess if it weren’t for me,” said the bear
unhappily. “I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“There’s
nothing to forgive, my friend,” said Thornbriar warmly. “Let’s get back home.”
The two
started through the woods. Overhead, the
last few tatters of clouds were gone, and the stars shone bright and
clear. All around was silence, except
for the slight crunch of leaves under their feet. A faint light began outlining the trunks of
the bare oak trees, and by the time they left the woods the morning sun was brilliant
red over the far mountains.
As they
drew near their home, the bear turned toward the elf and said, “You must be
tired and starving. When we get home you
rest, and I’ll make you a big breakfast, of anything you want. How does that sound?”
“Truly
excellent,” said Thornbriar. “I would
like about a dozen eggs, and toast, and tea!
And you know what would be especially nice? A couple of thick slices of that ham hanging
in the larder.”
Bear
stopped in his tracks and hung his head.
“Oh,” he said.
“Why,
Bear, what’s the matter?”
“Thornbriar,
I ate the ham while I was waiting for you to get home yesterday! Oh dear, oh
dear, I am sorry!”
“Bear!”
yelled Thornbriar.
But he
was laughing.
Saturday, April 3, 2021
Elf and Bear: The Retching Wretch
Suddenly
he retched and spewed a mouthful of stew out back into the ladle. He turned to the sickened Thornbriar and
roared, tossing the goop back into the pot.
“This
stuff is terrible! I guess I’ll have to
teach you a lesson, pointy-ears.”
Fleshbag
began loosening a coiled leather whip from his belt. “You’ll not serve me such muck again.”
“You
didn’t give me enough time,” pleaded Thornbriar. “If you’ll just be patient while it cooks…”
“My
patience has run out, elf,” sneered the goblin. “You had plenty of time. But you’re a sluggard. Well, a few licks of the lash will make you
go fast enough.”
He
flicked the whip around in wicked little circles, then gave it a preliminary
crack. “This will cure your
laziness!” He raised the whip back to
strike and Thornbriar cringed.
The
blow never fell.
With a
roar that shook the trees and shattered the night air Bear came leaping down
the ravine into the middle of the goblin camp.
His landing seemed to shake the earth.
The whip fell from Fleshbag’s suddenly limp fingers and his jaw dropped
in his bloodless face. The bear sent
goblins crashing left and right with mighty swipes of his paw as he bore down
straight toward the goblin leader and Thornbriar.
Fleshbag
drew out his sword with a shaking hand, but before he could use it, Bear
knocked it upward with a blow of his paw. It went spinning through the air and
landed with a “thunk” in the trunk of a tree.
The goblin looked from where the blade hung quivering back into the red
eyes and three-inch fangs snarling a foot from his face.
Flehbag’s
mouth worked as if he were trying to say something, anything, that could save
his hide. Bear thrust his snout forward
and roared, a great full-throated bellow that sprayed the goblin and revealed
even more teeth and a bright red gullet.
Fleshbag’s eyes rolled up in his head, and with a whimper he buckled to
the ground. As the goblin fainted, Bear
reached forward and plucked the elf’s pointed blue hat from Fleshbag’s head
before he hit the earth.
Bear
handed Thornbriar his hat. “Come on,” he
said. He looked around at the band of
the groaning goblins. “Let’s get out of
here.”
“Just a
moment.”
The elf
adjusted his hat, then turned to the greasy cauldron. Using the ladle he tipped its rim until the
stomach-turning slop inside poured out, spilling everywhere and dousing the
fire. He gave a satisfied nod. “Now let’s go.”
Thursday, April 1, 2021
Elf and Bear: Toil and Trouble
The
goblins ganged up around Thornbriar as he was led away, gabbling and poking at
him and turning out his pockets to see if he had anything they could
steal. Pigbottom pulled him along and
threw him down roughly next to a grimy black cauldron perched on top of a
clumsily piled stone fire-pit.
Thornbriar
looked around for a way to escape, but the walls of the dry creek were steep
and towered on either side. The goblins
had stacked vast tangles of brushwood at either end to wall in their camp, and
in the middle the campfire burned, casting light into every corner. Even if he could have gotten away, he found
the leg-irons made it impossible to takes steps of more than a foot. He would never be able to outrun the gang of
goblins.
Now
began a horrible time. The goblin Gimpy
brought him some bats to skin, and Pigbottom showed him the grimy sacks full of
skunk cabbage and toadstools to chop up and put in the murky water in the
cauldron. There were other vile
ingredients to poor elf had to prepare and put in the pot. Many of these would kill any human in seven
seconds, but goblins find them delicious.
Especially
maddening was the way the goblins gathered around to prod and criticize the way
he was doing things. For while all goblins
are lazy and dirty and never do any work if they can help it, they love to find
fault with others and nag incessantly.
By the
time Thornbriar had the cauldron full and simmering on the fire, he was pouring
sweat even in the chill night air and felt sore with the pinches and pushes
from his captors. The thick goop had
only started to bubble a little when Captain Fleshbag awoke with a snort and
jumped to his feet.
“I’m
ready to eat,” he announced. “Let’s see
how you did, elf.”
He
strode over to the pot and grabbed the ladle.
The goblin leader stirred the steaming mess a few times and then scooped
out a heaping load and sniffed it.
“Smelly,” he grunted approvingly. He brought the ladle to his lips and began slurping it loudly.