Wednesday, May 8, 2024

Wideo Wednesday: Muppets Beyond the Show


Back in the early Seventies, fueled by their presence and popularity on Sesame Street, Jim Henson was frantically trying to grow his Muppet Empire to ever greater heights. This expressed itself in several specials (including The Great Santa Claus Caper; see elsewhere in the blog), most of which were ‘hip’ adaptations of classic fairy tales. Then for the first season of Saturday Night Live (1975) the Muppets appeared as a segment called ‘The Land of Gorch,’ which had much more sex, violence, and drug references than any other Muppet iteration. After really hitting the big time with The Muppet Show, Henson went on to make Fraggle Rock, which I never saw on its first run because we didn’t have HBO, but which I later developed a liking for, especially some of their songs. I retain a sneaking (if not whole-hearted) fondness for the Muppets, just nothing they’ve done post-Henson (1990). Whether that’s because the company now lacks his executive vision and are just poorly recycling his ideas and methods, or I’ve just become an old fuddy-duddy, is a debatable point. Enjoy these while you can; Disney (who now owns the Muppets) took down the complete “The Frog Prince,” and who knows what might follow?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvbcQJuR6Sw Hey, Cinderella!

Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Ogre Notes: Developing An 'Evil' Race

Ferrus, the Mutation

Ogre Notes (Made when I was working on Eye of Darkness).

Follow the life of an Ogre from birth till death.

Hatched in a clutch of leathery membranous eggs. Female Ogres lay single eggs, then place them in a nest of 12-25 in the care of an elderly brood-nurse, past the age of bearing herself. The first thing a hatchling does is eat the shell of its own egg; if it is still hungry, he may try to devour one of its "brothers", or nest-mates. This causes the chemical change within that makes a "Great Ogre." If he can't finish it, the nurse will chase him away and polish it off; it is one of the "perks" of the job.

After an infancy period, a male Ogre enters the second phase of life, which may be termed the "socialization period." He learns to speak and finds his place in the pecking order of the Ogre hierarchy. This depends mainly on strength and cunning. Indoctrination in the service of Bharek, re-enforced by Ogre stories of their version of history and philosophy of life, occurs during this period.

The third phase of life, equivalent to adolescence, sees the entire male Ogre brood pushed out of the cool comfortable caves where most of the adult members dwell and into the harsh outside conditions. Further attrition occurs while they struggle for survival, with only 2 out of 5 reaching maturity. Reason for their high birth rate. At an average age of 16 the seasoned Ogre is ready for the fourth phase, to take his place in their society.

The Great Ogre is inevitably a warrior; the most cunning rise to positions of power, but none as high as Bharek's true generals, who tend to be members of other races who have had more opportunity to develop greater intelligence and power. The Less Ogre serves in a support position, doing most of the grunt work, being in effect a sort of slave. Their lives are seen to be of little value, and they are expended in battle like water. The shock troops of the elite Great Ogres, however, are sent on serious missions and excursions, in which they may encounter greater dangers.

Female Ogres, while going through the same second phase as males, are hoarded as a valuable resource, and seldom see combat or life beyond the caves. They regard this as an elite status, and their favors are reserved for the Great Ogres, although any offspring from these unions have an equal chance to develop into either Great or Less.

A female Great Ogre is very rare, and her offspring are awaited with great expectation, as a legend has arisen that the child of two Great Ogres will lead their race to ultimate victory. However, female Great Ogres are consistently sterile. Because of their status, female Ogres tend to have a longer lifespan and more time to develop complex minds.

The natural lifespan of an Ogre is a vexed question, as few die a natural death, especially the male population. These seldom live to forty, and the females (at most) to sixty-five. Wars, thralldom, and their violent way of life even among their own people keep life expectancy low. A dead Ogre is not granted any funeral rites; their corpses are as likely to be devoured by their own people as the bodies of their slain enemies. Memories of any "heroes" among them are rare, usually promoted by Bharek for indoctrination purposes. In their culture, "dead" is the equivalent of "worthless."

However, as Raksil in Eye of Darkness points out : “There is potential in all thinking creatures, even the Yorn [angelic spirits] when we are in this world, to choose our way. I know what you think, all of you: that you’re naturally the ‘good’ ones. Well let me tell you, it’s no done deal, and you’re not more virtuous than anybody, no, not even the Ogres! There is in all of us, every descendant of Morlakor Shyreen [the Creator] from the beginning, a will, a tiny secret will. But in you physical things the will has a special place to stand.

 "Even an Ogre has this. Even an Ogre could - if he chose – be as good as you. Oh, they have no natural bent for it, and everything is done to discourage it, what is allowed in their culture, what is encouraged for their world view, but it still remains, by some infinitesimal chance, possible that an Ogre could choose to be just as good as any of you. We [their masters] can’t breed it out, but we can squash it down.”

Monday, May 6, 2024

Just Now And Then My Line Gets Cast Into These Time Passages

 


From the far-flung year of 1982 comes the Marvel Movie Special adaptation of Terry Gilliam’s fantasy classic, Time Bandits! Made in a time when comics were still printed by a four-color process onto crumbling newspaper stock (so full of character!) instead of being laser-blasted onto slick soulless white sheets, reading it at last was like a true journey back through time for me! Don’t let the #1, Volume #1 identification fool you: this is the complete story of the epic movie told in a mere 48 pages. At an original price of $1, I can only imagine that the reason I never bought it at the time was that I never saw it. Suffers a bit from the heavy-handed efforts of the artists and writers to translate Gilliam’s fast-paced humor into graphic form.


The Lord of the Rings: The Stairs of Cirith Ungol (Part Three)


Frodo’s heart goes out to Faramir: will he get to Osgiliath before this mighty host cuts him off, and even if he does, can he possibly hold the fords against the King of the Nine Riders and his army? He weeps, thinking that now even if he accomplishes his task, the West will have fallen, and there will be no-one left to tell. ‘And still the host of Morgul crossed the bridge.’

Sam’s voice cuts into his horror, urging him to snap out of it, to wake up. The last of the army has passed on into darkness and the gates of Minas Morgul have closed. The nacreous light of the city is fading into silence and shade, but there is still a brooding presence there, watching, and the longer the hobbits stay there the more likely it is to spot them.

Frodo stands. The despair has not left him, but he no longer cowers under its weakness. He smiles grimly. Even if no-one ever knows what he does, he has to do what he has to do. If he can. He takes his staff of lebethron in one hand and thrusts the phial of Galadriel away next to his heart, hiding its light. ‘Then turning from the city of Morgul … he prepared to take the upward road.’

Gollum, who had crawled away out of sight when the gates had opened, comes crawling back, chastising them for standing exposed out there, saying they must make haste: the danger has not passed. They follow him along the climbing precipice until the come to the ‘first stair,’ steep as a ladder, though it has a wall now on either side. The steps are uneven, broken and breaking, and the higher they climb the more aware they are of the fall behind them.

Finally when they feel they can take no more, Gollum turns back and announces they have reached the top of the first stair. Frodo and Sam follow him and rest a bit in the deep dark passage above. Ahead of them is a passage going up, although at a gentler slope and with no steps. Gollum announces that they have passed the Straight Stair; now the Winding Stair is before them, longer, but not so difficult.

Sam asks, what after that? Didn’t he mention a tunnel of some kind? Oh, yes, says Gollum. But they can rest there before they try that. And if they get through the tunnel they will be nearly at the top. A chill wind is blowing down from the heights. Frodo, though sweaty from the climb, now shivers in the cold. This is no place to linger. They must climb on.

The passage seems to go on for miles, and all the time the wind freezes them or seeks to blow them over the edge. They know they are at the top when they can feel no wall on their right hand, only a chasm yawning there. In the flickering flaring red light from Mordor the tall peaks in front and to either side of them seem like ‘pillars holding up a vast sagging roof’ as they stand on a wide shelf of rock. Gollum leads them forward, staying close under the cliff, away from the chasm.

They are no longer climbing, but the path is broken with rocks and fallen stone and they must proceed slowly, with caution. The night and the path seem endless and they cannot tell how long ago it was when they left the Morgul Vale. At last they become aware of another wall looming before them.

‘Again they halted, and again they began to climb’, along a path like a snake winding to and fro up the cliffside. At one point it turns right at the cliffside, and Frodo can look down into the great ravine at the head of the Morgul Valley, a deep pit below them with the gleaming wraith road winding tiny at the bottom. ‘He turned hastily away.’

At long last they reach a final flight of the staircase, short and straight, leading to another level. In the red light of Mordor Frodo can see, ahead of them and high above, ‘the very crown of this bitter road.’ There, there are two cloven shoulders of stone, each crowned with a horn of stone. Looking closely, Frodo sees that the horn on the left is a tower, a red light gleaming at its top. He points this out to Sam.


Sam growls at Gollum. So his ‘secret path’ is guarded after all. Gollum concedes that all ways are watched, but perhaps this way less than the others; maybe they have all marched off to war. ‘But hobbits must try some way.’ Sam reluctantly agrees, but they must rest before they try this tunnel. They’ve been climbing for hours.

Frodo agrees. They must gather their strength for what seems the final push to get into Mordor. If they can just do that, the terrors of what must be done then can be faced; for now, they seem far ahead, and this the last lap. ‘All his mind was bent on getting through or over this impenetrable wall and guard. If once he could do that impossible thing, then somehow the errand would be accomplished, or so it seemed to him in that dark hour of weariness, still laboring in the stony shadows under Cirith Ungol.’

Bits and Bobs

Not much to note, except that Tolkien worked hard to pin down the appearance and approach to Cirith (at first spelled Kirith in his drafts, and always pronounced with a hard C) Ungol; his many sketches are reproduced in The War of the Ring (Volume 8 in The History of Middle-earth).

Sunday, May 5, 2024

When You Least Expect It, You're Elected

 


Yesterday evening I had turned on the AC, undressed, and started to settle down about 9:30 PM when I went on Amazon to archive my purchases. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Big Jack, The Madwoman of Chaillot, and You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown DVDs had been delivered to the front porch! I hadn’t expected them for a week at least. I got dressed, left the guest house, and struggled out in the dark (with safety lights on, of course) and retrieved them; after all, we were forecast rain and storms for the next day.

You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown (1972) was the 10th Peanuts special to air. It came between Play it Again, Charlie Brown (1971) and There’s No Time for Love, Charlie Brown (1973), in other words, sometime between the Halloween (1966) and Thanksgiving (1973) specials.  This edition is part of Warner Home Video's "Remastered Deluxe Edition" line of Peanuts specials, released on October 7, 2008, along with He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown (2006) as a bonus feature.

The story is pretty straightforward. Sally is discontented with school as she cannot get her locker open. After realizing that Charlie Brown would never stand a chance at being elected, the Peanuts gang decide to run Linus as a candidate for school president, hoping he’ll be able to get things done. Meanwhile Snoopy is hanging around school as ‘Joe Cool’ (along with his own theme song, sung by Vince Guaraldi). It’s going well until Linus mentions the Great Pumpkin at a school rally. He still wins by a slim margin of one vote but finds out to Sally’s disgust that he has no real power. She kicks her locker in frustration, and as she walks away it slowly swings open behind her.

There are 51 Peanuts specials altogether, and while some are great classics, it’s kind of shocking to realize how many are mediocre, if not downright poor, especially after 1980. Elected, however, is early enough to be slightly better than mediocre, if not very memorable. It premiered nine days before the Nixon/McGovern presidential election.

He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown is a feature pitched by Charles Schulz before his death in 2000, and the last to be produced by Bill Melendez (who also did the ‘voices’ of Snoopy and Woodstock), who died in 2008. The Peanuts gang go to camp, where Charlie Brown must save Rerun from having his grandfather’s marbles taken by a bully, Joe Agate. I think I would much rather have had Play It Again, Charlie Brown, which I haven’t seen since 1971. But there it is.


The Madwoman of Chaillot (1969; 2 hrs and 21 min) is the film adaptation of the 1943 play by Jean Giraudoux. The forces of industry and conformity have determined to dig up Paris for the oil they believe lies underneath. The Countess Aurelia, the madwoman of the title (played by Katherine Hepburn in the film), is a benign eccentric who values beauty, romance, and loyalty above money. Although she has no power, she decides to stop the power brokers by holding a trial presided over by her fellow outcasts, oddballs, and dreamers. Once the developers have been condemned, she leads them to their doom by their own greed into a pit that smells of oil.

I remember seeing a goodly chunk of it on TCM (or possibly AMC) and being impressed with it. I’ve not been able to catch it again since. It seems part of that tradition of plays and movies like Heartbreak House or You Can’t Take It with You or They Might Be Giants or even Cyrano de Bergerac or Man of La Mancha, where the forces of humanitarian Romance (in the developed sense) struggle against the iron forces of Utilitarianism and win a sort of victory, no matter Pyrrhic.  

Besides Katherine Hepburn, it also has Paul Henreid, Richard Chamberlain, Yul Brynner, Danny Kay, Donald Pleasence, and Charles Boyer.


I saw Big Jack (1949, MGM) on TCM, of that I’m sure.  It was Wallace Beery’s last film; he died three days after its release. “The picture is a comedy-drama, set on the American frontier in the early 1800s, about outlaws who befriend a young doctor in legal trouble for acquiring corpses for anatomical research.” – Wikipedia. Beery is Big Jack and Marjorie Main is his moll Kate ('Big Jill'), and Richard Conte is the young doctor who they more or less shanghai to tend to their medical needs (what with shoot-outs and so on). When the doctor’s developing skills help him save the mayor’s daughter, it earns him a pardon, though Big Jack dies winning him time for the operation. I seem to remember tucking away a few notes for A Grave on Deacon’s Peak (or The American Fantasy, as it was then) while I was watching. Anyway, Big Jack has proved to be as elusive as its namesake, so I’m glad to have a copy to peruse again at my leisure.   

Saturday, May 4, 2024

From Time to Time, Into the Niche of Time


Well, I said I was probably going to get a DVD copy of From Time to Time, and now I have. I wonder how many British children’s fantasies start with kids taking a train journey to a big old place where the past is still somehow alive and mysterious things are sure to happen. I remember The Box of Delights (book 1935, TV special 1984) begins in a similar way, and of course The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (book 1950, film 2005), and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (book 1997, film 2001). From Time to Time is adapted from the L. M. Boston book The Chimneys (later The Treasure) of Green Knowe (1958). The film came out in 2009, directed by Julian Fellowes and starring Maggie Smith, just before they started Downton Abbey. Fellowes read and loved the books when he was a boy, and the time was right (in the wake of the popularity of the Harry Potter films) for an adaptation. So when the story starts near the end of WWII with Toseland (Tolly) on a train headed for his grandmother’s ancient house of Green Knowe, I felt I was on familiar ground. I could almost imagine that Kaye Harker and the Pevensies were on the same train with Tolly, getting off at a different station.

Anyway, it’s safe in the Archive now, available to be watched on the big TV and not just the computer screen.

Since it’s the first of the month, ‘tis the time for new acquisitions. The same mail that brought me From Time to Time brought me The Adventures of Baron Munchausen #4 from NOW comics, the last volume in an adaptation of Terry Gilliam’s fantastic film. I THINK (though at this distance I am not absolutely SURE) that I have all the other three volumes; it’s been a while since I looked at the comic bin in any detail, and it’s rather heavily buried at the moment. I’m positive I have #1, though. I suppose that’s another quest in my future. [Update 5/6/24: Quest achieved! I do have all four now, and for once my 'What's In the Box' guide actually worked!] However, this should be [and is!] the fulfillment of a long-standing, nagging lack. 


Friday Fiction Concluded: Korm's Master (Part Two)

 


          In the few days of the old Morg's absence, Korm had been acting out a little fantasy. In the morning, having kindled the fire in the front office, he sat down behind the Master's desk with a selected volume, ink and paper for notes by his side, and then worked for the day as if he did indeed belong there. Looking up every now and then at the spotless shelves and gleaming accouterments, their restored condition, at least, the product of his labor, he felt a proprietary thrill, as if they were a hopeful prophecy of his future. A small sign outside the door gave notice of the Master's absence and kept anyone from peering in on his indulgence.

          On the final morning of the holiday, Korm crept from his cramped cabinet, through the silent space of the early morning hall, and eased his way through the entrance of the office. With the school mostly abandoned, there was really no need to be so stealthy, but something about the hour seemed to forbid noise. He closed the door and made his way through the dim chamber to where the banked fire glowed dimly on the hearth.

          He grabbed some sticks of kindling and thrust them down through the ashes into the live embers beneath. He crouched watching for a few moments until he was sure the wood had caught fire, then creaked back to his feet, satisfied. When Master Belmok came back this afternoon, the chambers would be nice and toasty. In the meantime, the young Morg would be quite comfortable in the last hours of his imaginary way of life.

          He looked around the room in the growing light of the fire, thinking about which book to shuffle through in the early hours of the day before he could expect the old Morg's return. His eyes snagged on a bundle of old brown rags piled on one of the visitors' chairs. That hadn't been there when he'd left last night.

          Then he remembered that he'd requested some of the groundskeepers be sent to touch up the pocked and crumbling plaster along the walls. They had obviously dumped these tarps off last night in preparation of a day's work. He frowned at the thought about the infringement on his last moments of free time, and stumped over in irritation to throw the pile to the floor. It certainly shouldn't have been left on the furniture, anyway.

          He put his hands on the pile of rags, and to his shock it burst into startling, struggling life. He jumped back in consternation, gasping, and watched as the growling bundle thrust out arms and legs and finally tossed back a folded hood to reveal a round white head with a short scruffy beard. Two blazing blue eyes glared at him in angry confusion.

          "You're a Man!" Korm barked.

          "Last time I checked, son," the other said crossly. The old man stretched out his scrawny brown limbs and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, looking around. He focused on the young Morg and seemed to suddenly realize where he was. He smiled wanly and leapt out of the chair.

          "Where's Belmok?" he asked casually, scratching his head and stretching his ropy neck. "I need to ask him a couple favors right quick."

          "Grand Master Belmok is visiting his family for the holiday. He'll be returning shortly," Korm answered, frost in his voice. He'd recovered a bit from his surprise, and now was feeling on his dignity. This wolfish old beggar in tattered dun robes was treating Master Belmok, his chambers, and by extension all of Tronduhon Library School in far too familiar a manner. "Perhaps you'd like to go wait somewhere until he comes back?"

          "No, I'd like to catch him pretty quick when he arrives. But you go on then, whatever you're doing here. Don't mind me." He settled back down in the chair.

          Korm edged his way over to the desk, eyeing the tattered figure as he went. He pulled a book, almost at random, from a passing shelf. He sat down and lit the ornate reading lamp. He started to read, glancing up every now and then at his unwanted visitor, who waved cheerily back.

          The random text proved to be in old bardic Morgish, and he soon found his mind more engaged with puzzling out the sense of it than on the old man sitting quietly across the room. Korm began muttering the lines aloud, trying to untangle the meaning and murmuring with pleasure when he hit on a solution. But finally he came on a word that completely stumped him.

          "Abirmokon," he grumbled. "What is 'abirmokon'?"

          "It means 'he awakens the flame.'"

          Korm looked up in astonishment, then annoyance. He had forgotten the grimy beggar slouched across from him while he was lost in the wonders of the elder tongue. He slammed the book shut. To think that this impertinent wanderer should listen in and think to offer his rigamarole suggestions to a real scholar! To make it worse, his answer seemed to make a sort of sense in the context of the writing. The old man smiled at him.

          "Are you sure you would rather not come back later, when the Grand Master will more likely be returned?" the young Morg asked through clenched teeth.

          "No, this is fine," the old man said. "Though I wouldn't mind a bit of breakfast while I wait."

          "Well you can't eat in here," Korm snapped. "School rules. You'll have to go to the refectory and ask them to give you something there." He smiled, suddenly crafty, struck by a thought. He rose and walked over to the chair. "In fact, I'll take you myself. It's a big place, you might get lost."

          The old man looked at him and grinned.

          "Well, that's mighty kind of you, young fellow," he drawled. "Mighty kind." He stood up and drew in close, taking Korm's hand and squeezing it tightly. The odor wafting from his robes was musty and rank, as if he had been trudging for weeks and miles through the wilderness. The Morg's flat nostrils flared snuffling at the smell.

          "Perhaps you would like to visit the water rooms before eating," he suggested, trying not to breathe too deeply.

          "Well, that's a good idea," the other laughed, wheezing, and slapped the young Morg's shoulder. "Now that you mention it, I've got to pee like a racehorse."

          The old man followed the young scholar into the quiet hallways, the arched corridors echoing with the shuffle of his robes and the slapping of his loose sandals. Though Korm darted his eyes around desperately as they passed room after room, his plan to relieve himself of his unwanted visitor by handing him over to a passing lector was constantly foiled. Every spare staff member seemed to have disappeared for the holiday. At last they reached a green-painted iron-bound door in the bowels of the school.

          "Here you go," the young Morg said, standing in front of it and pointing dejectedly at the sign. "Baths and bogs."

          The old man laughed.

          "Maybe you better come in and show me which is which."

          Korm turned on him in outrage.

          "Oh, now see here! You can't be that stupid..."

          The old man grinned like a wolf and uttered a few flat words. For a snip of time, Korm thought he was being mocked in some foreign tongue. But a flash of light coming from the door at his back distracted him, and he turned in alarm.

          "What...? Is the place on fire?" Instinctively he reached out to the door handle and barged stumbling through, skidded to a stop, and stood frozen, his muzzle gaping in wonder. The old vagabond stepped in behind him, quietly shutting the door.

          Instead of the low, dim, dripping rooms that he had been expecting, Korm found himself taking dazed, hesitant steps over a white marble floor into a vast, bewildering space. The room, if it was a room, was colossal; the walls, if they were walls, seemed to bow inward, reaching dimly to an unseen point in the hazy purple-blue heights. A kind of bright twilight with no definable source hung about everything. Korm could sense the curve of the wall or fence where the door was set falling away behind, but he paid no thought to it. He was drawn to the mesmerizing spectacle before him.

          In the center of the chamber or courtyard was a vast pool, almost a lake, set round with a massively carved curb of stone. In the center of the pool, rising in a thick, turbulent column, taller even than the Sun Tower in Morg City, was a pillar of water, that rose and fell heavily without spray or splash, just a low rumble like distant thunder as it raised itself up and poured itself back down into the pellucid water below, which received it again with hardly a ripple. Playing on top of that pillar, slowly but continually spinning in the roll of water, danced a huge translucent green globe.

          Korm approached the cascade reverently, entranced, eyes wide, stopping only when he finally placed his arms outspread on the stony coping surrounding the water's edge. He gazed up, up, up at the globe, turning ponderously but ceaselessly, looking heavier than a mountain, then had to let his eyes fall, dizzy at the fearful weight held poised so delicately above him. But when his gaze had focused downward, his stomach tied itself into an instant knot.

          There was no bottom to the pool, no slow incline, no rippling play of light on a floor, however deep. Just the depths, down, down, ever deeper, until it seemed more profound than the sky above, if sky it was. Korm thought he saw, past the lowest darkness of its abysses, the distant glimmer of stars, as if the world had been turned upside-down and he was suspended, somehow, over a chasm of sky that could suck him into its profundity as inexorably as any vast and heaving sea. To his horror he found himself helplessly leaning over, unable in his vertigo to stop himself from plunging forward headfirst into the waters.

          A rough brown hand clamped on his shoulder and pulled him back.

          "The Fountain of Forever," the old man said quietly.

          Korm turned back, panting, eyes rolling, and gaped at the man.

          "Where--?" he stammered. "Where--? How did we--?"

          The other swept his arm, pointing back behind them, in a gesture of introduction.

          "The Domain of Doors," he said matter-of-factly.

          Korm squinted back at the way he had come. Had he really walked that far? Back behind them was the wall or fence he had walked from through the door. It curved around until it was lost at either end behind the falling waters. Could that be right? The dimensions of this place seemed to be playing tricks on his eyes. He rubbed his hands over his face, then pulled them down, tugging his beard to try to center himself. He looked up with a clearer gaze and got another jolt of realization.

          The wall behind him, the wall that stretched out of sight to either side, was entirely made up of doors, linked only by short brambly trees growing between them. There were wooden doors, and iron doors, and doors of stone, bound in brass or steel or simply hanging on a leather hinge, some so tall and wide an Ogre might walk through with ease, and some so low a hound might have to stoop to pass in. A dizzying array. And Korm had no idea, looking panicked at the multitude, where the one he had entered by was.

          "The thing about the Domain of Doors," the scruffy man said, scratching his beard thoughtfully, "is you really got to pay attention where you came in from. These doors go all over everywhere in Ortha, and some of them beyond, they say. Walk through the wrong one, and you might end up in a dungeon somewhere, with some real nasty folks wanting to ask you some real nasty questions."

          "You seem to know a lot about it," Korm said, turning on him. "What do you think we should do?"

          "Eh." The old man shrugged, as if he had no idea and was leaving it up to him.

          It should be simple, Korm thought, turning away. Just walk back the way I came. Go back through the door to Tronduhon Library School, back into a place where things make sense. Simple. He sighted a path to take, and strode decisively forward, the brown-robed figure flapping carelessly after him in his wake.

          To his dismay, they came to a halt in front of a battered wooden door with brass bolts. Some crude runes chipped into it declared it to be of Ghamen make.

          "It's a funny thing about setting out from the inner rim of a wheel to the outer wheel. The smallest deviation from the path increases exponentially the further you travel."

          Korm looked over at the man with one eye.

          "That's a brilliant observation," the Morg said sarcastically. "What should I do, go back and start again?"

          "That would be a recipe for disaster, I think."

          "Then I'll just walk along the wall till I find the door."

          "Ah, but which way?"

          Korm looked again at the wall. He looked left. He looked right. Either way seemed to curve off into a haze. He looked at the old man in frustration.

          "Well, what do you want to do?" he asked angrily. "How do you know all about it, anyway? Who the hell are you?"

          "I want to go to the right here, because I've been keeping my eye on the door since we first came in," the old man said calmly. "I know all about it because I brought us here by a spell. I happen to be a wizard, and my name," he bowed slightly "is Dunwolf, Dunwolf of Rhavenglast." He paused. "You may have heard of me."

          "Dunwolf?" Korm boggled.

          "Yes."

          "The wizard?"

          "Yes."

          "That's impossible!" the Morg burst out. "He lived five hundred years ago!"

          "One of the side-effects of using magic - or having magic use you - is long life. It's not always the kindest of powers." The old man hitched himself up and began moving to the right. "After the journey I've been on, I feel every day of those years. Right now I want a good breakfast. But first, I do need that bog-stool. To go in this place ... it just wouldn't be right."

          "Yes, about this place," Korm said, floundering after him indignantly. "All right you're a wizard, all right maybe you’re even Dunwolf himself, but what do you mean by bringing me to this ... this terrible place?" he finished in consternation.

          "Shake you up a bit, teach you a lesson. You seemed a little on the smug side to me." The old man chuckled as he strode along. "Thought you could get me booted out, just like that. Let me tell you, lad, the world and the people in it are not only more than you know, they're more than anyone can know, even an old wizard. Don't be so quick to judge."

          "Now you're being the quick one to judge." Korm's muzzle kinked in a wry grin. "I've been about as far from smug as I could be for a whole season."

          "Hold that thought," the other said. They had stopped in front of a door. Korm recognized the dark green paint and bronze fixtures of the school bog. The old man tapped the wood three times in a triangular pattern and pulled it open. As it swung wide, the young Morg felt great relief to see the familiar hallways of the school on the other side again. He stepped through eagerly.

          The old man pulled it to, and almost immediately threw it open again, to reveal the unmistakable sounds and odors of the gurgling washroom. He sprinted in and slammed the door behind him, leaving Korm to blink alone in the plain light of day.

          Afterwards they walked together to the refectory, the young Morg as if he had just awoken from a dream, the old man simply talking cheerfully about what he felt like for breakfast. They made it to the long hall crowded with tables and benches, and Korm automatically arranged for their meal. When it arrived, he sat silently while his white-bearded guest shoveled down eggs and toast and sugared gruel, chased by several cups of strong sweet hot mocha. Every now and then the young Morg opened his mouth as if to say something, then shut it, baffled, shaking his head.

          They walked back to the Grand Master's chambers through the returning stream of students, who were beginning to wind their way again through the channels of the school. Korm lifted the latch and led the way into the office. To his surprise, Belmok lifted his pursed lips and squinnied eye up from his desk as he entered.

          "There you are, boy," he barked. "I thought you'd at least be on hand when I ... Dunwolf, old man!" His eyes sprang wide, dropping his ocular to his chest where it bounced on its ribbon. He heaved himself up from his chair and stamped ponderously over in delight, and took the wizard's hand. "What a surprise to see you here!"

          "Greetings, Grand Master," the old man grinned, vigorously returning Belmok's grip. "I have a few questions I thought you might be able to answer for me, my friend. Your new famulus here was just helping me grab some refreshment while we waited for your arrival. Wandering's a hungry business, you know, and I have to take meals where I can get them."

          "Of course, of course. Korm's a good lad," Belmok said. He laid his knobby claw heavily on the boy's shoulder. The young Morg seemed to sink beneath it. Wedged between the two towering elders he felt like he was standing in the bottom of a ditch. "Inspired me, in fact, to start trying to complete work on my old 'Notes on the Morg Migrations.' Might actually finish it before I die, now. Sit down, let me pour us some Lorelied."

          Belmok lumbered over to the barrel in the back of the room, and Dunwolf sat in the chair between the fireplace and the desk. Korm, unsure what to do, hovered between them.

          "He's in a bit of a pickle at the moment," the old Morg said as he twisted the tap. "Been here for five months already, doesn't have a subject for his master. Shame, too, because I think he has good potential." He handed Korm a cup with a wink. "Don't let it go to your head, lad."

          "Really," Dunwolf said, accepting his own cup thoughtfully. He looked at Belmok. "Talented?"

          "He put my papers in order." Belmok bent to pour his drink.

          Dunwolf whistled. He twirled the wine and took a sip.

          "You know," he said slowly. "I may have the solution to both our dilemmas. I was going to ask you to delve into this, Belmok, but if you're working on something else again ..." He looked up at Korm. "Tell me, lad, have you ever heard of ... the Goldfire?"

          Belmok went still, then slowly raised himself up straight, watching. Korm bent his head, staring into his drink, thinking deeply.

          "The Goldfire? The Goldfire... yes, a talisman of some kind, I believe. Lost during the reign of Tarth. What about it?"

          "I need someone, a hell of a good scholar, to look into its history, and trace down where it could be now. I think we may need it again pretty damn soon."

          "Well, I suppose...," Korm started.

          Belmok barked in jubilation, making the others jump. The fat old Morg sat down his cup, crossed his arms over his chest and bowed his head. Then he looked up and, elbows at his sides, spread his arms palms upward in triumph.

          "I call Morlakor Shyreen to witness," he crowed, "And you, too, wizard, that neither I nor any Morg has given him this idea, neither by deed or word or prompting aforethought. Come, come here, boy." The old Morg turned and took a box from the shelf behind him.

          Korm walked over in a daze. Dunwolf looked bemused. Belmok unlatched the box, put back the lid, and pulled out the long unreeling length of a red sash of History. He folded it so that it lay cradled between his hands and presented it to the stunned young student.

          "Well, take it, take it, tie it on," he commanded. Korm took it with trembling fingers and looped it gingerly around his waist. For a moment he felt the strong fabric girding his middle. Then suddenly, decisively, he cinched it in a tight knot, and looked up, grinning fiercely, as if challenging the world to try to take it from him.

          "Excellent, excellent," Belmok chortled. "I've had a room held for you, a real scholar's chamber. You can begin your proper studies tomorrow! Ah, you'll need this book...and this one...and this..."

          As the fat old Morg went shambling around the rooms, disarranging his newly immaculate shelves and gathering volumes, Dunwolf rose quietly and walked over to where Korm stood beaming, quaffing his Lorelied in triumph. He put his hand on the young Morg's shoulder and patted it.

          "Congratulations, Master Korm," he said in a low voice. "But don't forget the Goldfire. Start on it quickly, now rather than later. I have the feeling that in the close future we in the South will have need of it, quite badly, quite soon."

          The old wizard turned to the Grand Master and started following him around the room.

          "Now I have a couple more questions, Belmok...," he began.

          Late that night saw Korm moved from his little closet to a properly appointed chamber, with a real bed, shelves for his books, and a bottomless supply of ink and paper from the school stock. Already, as he had moved to and from Belmok's office, his red sash was catching eyes and getting whispers about the new protégé of the Grand Master.

          He sat down at his desk, a heavy tome before him, and pen and paper ready for notes to the side. As a finishing touch, he lit the little brass lamp and put the old stuffed owl on the ledge above him. He cocked an eye up to where it stared solemnly down at him. He tangled his beard with his black claws.

          "Well, Lord Fluffy," he said, "Let's get started."

Notes

Belmok (alternate names that I considered: Balmog, Bermog, Brogg, Bermoq – ‘Lose your bow, mok?’) went on to star in his own tale, Eye of Darkness, and appears as a guest star in Korm and the Lost Library. Belmok in fact became one of my favorite Morg characters. I rate him almost as highly as the more traditional Roth and Korm.

It was in this story that I first started developing the Morg academic color tradition, with the color of one’s tunic declaring your area of study and one’s sash indicating one’s level. I have a whole chart about it; I am not sure that I am always correct on this between stories. Academic Levels: First Master (big frog in little pond), Great Master (big frog in big pond), High Master (big fish in big pond), Grand Master (the eel who could eat all the fish and frogs; prestigiously speaking). Grand Master Emeritus (could dine on eel pie). Academic Politics Are So Vicious Because the Stakes Are So Small.

Dunwolf has been a part of the Ortha mythos from the beginning. John made up the name, in a line-up of fantasy characters: Dunwolf the Old. He had as much Obi-wan Kenobi DNA as Gandalf DNA.

The Domain of Doors enters the mythos in this tale. I had Roth mention the Domain in the short story Come Together, where he says Korm talked to him about it. It plays a big part in Shutting the Door (previously published here) in which you will find a lot more about Dunwolf and notes about the background of the Domain and its creation. The Domain existed almost as long as Ortha has; I worked hard at retrofitting it into the Goldfire narrative.

I made up the word "abirmokon" from a combination of elements from an old list of Morgish words I had drawn up ages ago.

Korm wore his horrible hairy hat for decades, as a kind of penance and a check to pride. When it finally fell apart and he threw it away, he found to his consternation that his students had rescued it as a relic, ensconced it in the school museum, and presented him with a new hat made exactly to the old pattern.

Korm shares my own penchant for owls; Lord Fluffy is a tribute to that.


Friday, May 3, 2024

A Wilderness of Dragons

 


You never know what unexpected byways may lead you suddenly to the completion of a quest. I was looking for a red book about dragons that I used to own (not Dragonology; this one was full of classic art and illustrations, as much about art history as it was about dragons), when I ran across The Truth About Dragons: An Anti-Romance, by Hazard Adams. I read it one summer, from the Seguin Public Library, but could never remember the title, and have been looking to pin it down for years. It takes place in California in the early Seventies.

What's a dragon doing in the hills above Santa Barbara in the 1970's? In the prime of life at 606 years old, Firedrake is keeping the dragon faith, even as the modern world encroaches upon his lair. He's following dragon traditions of many millennia: gathering and guarding a treasure trove, having a troublesome relationship with a very pretty young woman, and of course encountering a dragon slayer or two. Firedrake's a traditionalist, sure, but not a hidebound one. When he happens on a working cassette tape recorder he's delighted, as he loves telling a tale, almost as much as he loves collecting everything from magical balms to old bottles. Thanks to modern technology (well, modern by dragon standards) a dragon has finally gotten the chance to tell the world the dragon side of things. So forget the myths and lies propounded by misguided humans You have in your hands a transcript of actual dragon diaries, full of wonderful dragon lore, that puts you front row center to a modern dragon saga, complete with heroes and damsels, treachery and honor, and of course, a little bit of enchantment. The real story only a dragon could tell.” - Amazon.

Hazard Adams was born in 1926 and is apparently still alive (at least I can find no notice of his death). An academic, literary critic, and poet, he has written many other books, especially about Blake, Yeats, and the subject of poetry.

I don’t think The Truth About Dragons is available in the library anymore, but it seems to have had a reprinting in the Twenty Teens and is obtainable on Amazon – if I should want to renew my acquaintance with it. In the meantime, I have pulled together a gathering of dragons from the Niche in celebration of finally putting that nagging memory to rest. Not including, of course, all the books that have a dragon or feature one on the cover. But a sampling.

And I still haven’t found the red book that inspired the discovery.