Twice Times

Twice Times

There were Two Little Bears who lived in a Wood,
And one of them was Bad and the other was Good.
Good Bear learnt his Twice Times One -
But Bad Bear left all his buttons undone.

They lived in a Tree when the weather was hot,
And one of them was Good, and the other was Not.
Good Bear learnt his Twice Times Two -
But Bad Bear's thingummies were worn right through.

They lived in a Cave when the weather was cold,
And they Did, and they Didn't Do, what they were told.
Good Bear learnt his Twice Times Three -
But Bad Bear never had his hand-ker-chee.

They lived in the Wood with a Kind Old Aunt,
And one said "Yes'm," and the other said "Shan't!"
Good Bear learnt his Twice Times Four -
But Bad Bear's knicketies were terrible tore.

And then quite suddenly (just like Us)
One got Better and the other got Wuss.
Good Bear muddled his Twice Times Three -
But Bad Bear coughed in his hand-ker-chee!

Good Bear muddled his Twice Times Two -
But Bad Bear's thingummies looked like new.
Good Bear muddled his Twice Times One -
But Bad Bear never left his buttons undone.

There may be a Moral, though some say not;
I think there's a moral, though I don't know what.
But if one gets better, as the other gets wuss,
These Two Little Bears are just like Us.
For Christopher remembers up to Twice Times Ten ...
But I keep forgetting where I put my pen.* 

* So I have had to write this one in pencil.

By A. A. Milne

 

Wideo Wednesday: Regulars on the Playlist

Jubilation T. Cornpone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8s6JpKVWHM&list=RDf8s6JpKVWHM&start_radio=1

The Lees of Old Virginia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5p5PvYGB4w

Snow Miser/Heat Miser

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SGlPnA_iCk&list=RD_SGlPnA_iCk&start_radio=1

The Last Unicorn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enq2pFpBz1s&list=RDEnq2pFpBz1s&start_radio=1

Pure Imagination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVi3-PrQ0pY&list=RDSVi3-PrQ0pY&start_radio=1

 It was (briefly) 63 degrees this morning. Intimations of Fall? Or fallout from global weather disturbances?

Into the Archive: The Burning Stub-End of July

The Gulag Archipelago Three: Katorga, Exile, Stalin is No More by Alexandr I. Solzhenitsyn (Harper and Row, Hardcover)

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's The Gulag Archipelago is a monumental work, a "literary investigation" of the Soviet forced labor camp system (the Gulag), and Volume 3, "Katorga and Exile," focuses on resistance and the experience of exile after imprisonment. 

• Readers who have endured the "darkness and suffering" of the first two volumes will find a shift in focus in the third volume, which explores attempts at resistance within the camps.
• The text continues to detail the brutal realities of Gulag life, including starvation, torture, executions, and the dehumanization of prisoners.
• Conditions, if anything, worsened during World War II, with increased work, reduced rations, and stricter discipline,
• 
  
• – An AI generated summation.
• I was a little reluctant to buy this book at first as it was the third volume of a three-volume work, but I figured what the heck. It was available HERE and NOW, and I might be able to get the others as circumstances allowed. I had already found Solzhenitsyn to be a very worthwhile author from reading Cancer Ward back in December; in fact, looking into it I saw from the bookplate that this volume too had been owned by the C. R. Spences.
• 
  
• 
  
  
  

Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader’s Edition (Mark Twain Papers) Paperback – March 26, 2012

by Mark Twain (Author), Harriet E. Smith (Editor), & 5 more

The year 2010 marked the 100th anniversary of Mark Twain’s death. In celebration of this important milestone and in honor of the cherished tradition of publishing Mark Twain’s works, UC Press published Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 1, the first of a three-volume edition of the complete, uncensored autobiography. The book became an immediate bestseller and was hailed as the capstone of the life’s work of America’s favorite author.
This Reader’s Edition, a portable paperback in larger type, republishes the text of the hardcover Autobiography in a form that is convenient for the general reader, without the editorial explanatory notes. It includes a brief introduction describing the evolution of Mark Twain’s ideas about writing his autobiography, as well as a chronology of his life, and brief family biographies. – Amazon

I had seen this book at the store before, too, back when I bought Life on the Mississippi in June. I dipped into it while I was resting outside the house from my trek to the library, and I can already see that it will easily repay the pains of my journey. “Garrulous” and “beguiling”, the frankness of the author’s address (Twain did not want it published until long after his death) gives the impression that he is sitting by the parlor fire after supper, weaving his memory tales right to you. I may have to seek out the other two volumes when I am done. The book fits in well with the ‘Twainery’ that has been haunting me recently.

I am even now not quite completely recovered from my expedition, but at least I can rest easy for a while with my compulsions mollified. Bring on August. I am quite ready.

 

Buying Books

Nowhere near this well-organized or light.

Last night (or rather in the early hours of this morning) my brother John drove me to a second-hand bookstore in a small nearby town. Only when you drove up close enough could you see the small, hand-lettered signs announcing the name and hours. It was cavernous and nearly windowless; it looked like it had once been a barn or a large garage at one time. The floor was rough and uneven, stones and gravel that had been worn smooth by years of use. But there were rows of bulging mismatched shelves against the walls and ancient tables groaning with books laid in rows, spine up.

And what a motley lot of offerings they were. I identified lots of texts that were obviously assigned for old college courses, once-classic books reduced to paperback form, things no one read anymore. There were faded fantasy books from decades old trends and fashions; I identified a particularly ‘groovy’ copy of The Last Unicorn that offended every aesthetic twinge in my body; but, you know, a variant, one I’d never seen before. Children’s books whose target audience had long since died or were sitting mumbling in old folk homes. Rows and piles of all kinds of niche volumes, the detritus of the reading of generations. For me, a perfect hunting ground.

Nobody else was there; not even, at the moment, the proprietor, a rather dim but bustling elderly man (even more elderly than me) who yelled politely at us in greeting and who sounded like he was busy in another part of his house, which somehow linked up to the store. John and I started browsing, none too enthusiastically, but with hope springing eternally in our hearts.

After what seemed about half-an-hour I had selected a load of six or seven dusty old friable paperbacks, vaguely interesting but nothing to set the world on fire. But at the store’s desperately low, low prices worth the gamble. John had found nothing and was looking a little frustrated. And more and more people were starting to crowd the store, which had drawn the proprietor out to mingle and shmooze. The day was starting to warm up. I glanced up into the rafters; there was a bale of books hanging, spines down, overhead. We decided it was time to leave. “We had seen everything Snake’s Bend had to offer.”

Perhaps needless to say this was all a dream, not unlike several I have with some regularity. It was no doubt brought on by the fact that I have a little birthday money burning in my pockets and I’ve been wanting to get to the library bookstore for almost a week. I suppose this is a quest I’ll have to attempt this morning. The dream commands. A journey of only a few blocks, but with my right knee like it is and as warm as the end of July is getting, no small undertaking. I’m afraid it will also take up any ‘juice’ I might have applied to Tolkien Tuesday this morning. But depending on how I feel … “Yet we may, Mr. Frodo. We may.”

2020 Diary: The End of July

7/22/2020: Up about 5:30 AM. Prayers. Bible. Caught up Diary. On to the Death Star [a little family phrase from an old commercial we still preserve], as it were. I think one good march will bring me to the end of Omichon. I do not know why, but for me, rather than inspiring a celebratory spirit, the advent of my birthday usually provokes an existential dilemma. Haven’t written at all yet, as of 5 PM. Anyway, made Kam taquitos and sour cream for breakfast, and had ramen, eggs, and bread for me. A little after 10 AM, had more ramen, eggs, and bread. Suddenly was inspired to add Star Trek books to the Shadow Library. After waking up from a nap (and a dream where Omi gave me some M&Ms) I called John, and we talked a goodly while. Began supper about 3:30 PM, rice with mushrooms and chicken breast. Ate leftover sausage and cabbage with taters while cooking. Got some more volumes of the Mark Twain bio for the kindle; now reading. Rosary. Went in at 8 PM and cleaned up. A little after 9 PM Kam called and asked me to make his grilled cheese for supper. As I did so, S&A came back from their walk. Bade everyone good night, came in and read and pootled until bedtime.

 

7/23/2020: Up about 6:30 AM; another dream about a family reunion. It poured away like water as I woke up. Prayers and Bible, then settled down to write on Omichon. Bit by bit I progress. 7:15 AM stop to catch up diary. 9 AM make Kam bacon and eggs, then my ramen. The rest of the day thinking about story, but not doing any writing on it. Reading MT bio, and downloading several MT works, including Joan of Arc. What a mass of contradictions the man was! Something of a cynic but falling for every fleeting scam that came his way, often under the guise of it being ‘rational’ or ‘scientific’. He was a man of enthusiasms; his warm heart made him gullible. Always against monarchy, but he dearly loved a lord. Lunch more ramen; Andy came in and asked me what kind of cake I wanted. At supper made chili, instant mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and a few rotini. More MT until bedtime.

 

7/24/2020: Up at 5:30 AM. Prayers, Bible. Tucked right into Omichon and finished at about 7:30 AM (the story has the exact time on it). Now I’ve finished my ‘birthday story’ and needn’t worry about writing again till at least Sunday. The time ahead is free, free! Went in at 9 AM and made Kam taquitos, then my ramen and eggs. Dipped in and out of Night of the Iguana: ‘a bargain made with mist and mold’.

 

Went out at 11 AM and sat on the porch a while; high clouds and a wind made it more bearable for a bit than it’s been for a while. Curling dried leaves perhaps a presage of fall already. Striped lizards and one huge rusty brown-gray chameleon, bigger than most. Ate chili at lunch and fried Kam bacon and eggs. Kept an eye out for a rug to be delivered today; it came between 1 and 1:30 PM. I struggled it in from off the front porch to through the kitchen door. Began frying taters at 2:30 PM and was through at 5:30 PM. Fish and taters. Went in at 8 and cleaned up; they also gave me the leftover egg salad. Rosary at 9 PM, after catching the end of Mr. Roberts. Susan tells me that Kelsey & RyanH are watching out for hurricanes out where they are.

 

7/25/2020: My 57^th Birthday. Up about 6:40 AM; prayers, made tea, took a shower, dressed, and read Bible. Saw there was an email from John about Omichon:

That was one of the most beautiful things you've ever written.  Sweetly allegorical, wistful, playful, magical.  I couldn't help but feel that you were Omi, I was the worm, and Yen was the owl. So perfect in tone. How in the hell do you do that? Thank you for your birthday gift - will see you tomorrow with our birthday gift to you.  Love.

So, there’s that to look forward to today. Went back and did some minor polishing on Omichon. Then went hunting for covers for my posting for today, Dorothy L. Sayers paperbacks. The Harper Perennial covers that I have don’t seem to be very popular: I had to search far and wide to find even a moderately good picture for many of them. Intend to go in at 10 AM to bake cake.

Went in, but they weren’t back yet, so grabbed some bananas for breakfast. At 10:38 AM John called to say they were on their way, so I stumped out and met him and Amy just as they had pulled in. They gave me $60, and we had a good long gab before they had to go on at 11 AM. Then at 11:47 AM Kam called and said S&A were back. They gave me a card and $50 for my birthday, as well as a cake, chili dogs, and hot cheese dip, which I proceeded to make. We had lunch, then they sang Happy Birthday, we had cake, and then I went in full and sleepy for a nap. It had rained pretty heavily meanwhile, and still dripping most of the afternoon (hurricanes sneaking around). About 4:30 PM I went in, and Susan helped me start setting up ordering those books and DVDs I wanted. At first, she was on the phone with Kaitlyn; she and Ryan want to buy and build a house. Andy had to go pick up a wreck, after waiting all day for his game to download and only playing about 10 minutes. Susan must wait until she gets to the office to do any actual ordering, for security measures. It’s now 6 PM, and I’m just about ready for Round Two of Birthday Dinner. John e-mailed me a picture of the new monkey-mask he just made in latex (from his sculpt); it’s truly amazing. If only our 16 year-old selves could see the things we’ve accomplished!

At 6:30 PM we had more chili dogs and cake. At 7:40 PM Yen called, and he, I, and Isabel had a good birthday talk. They gave me Isabel’s e-mail number and I sent her links to my sites. Morgandy sent me a Happy Birthday message on FB messenger. It’s now a little after 9 PM and I’m ready to lay down for a bit. But rosary first.

 

7/26/2020: Up about 6 AM; raining this morning a bit. Dressed, prayers, Bible, then Eucharist with Father Stan. Wow, there is some steel in the old fellow; denouncing rioters for not following the way of peace and wanting to see more people in person at the church (while observing all precautions, of course). His rather thick (Polish) accent is a little hard to follow, but that makes me listen more attentively, perhaps, and I grew more used to it as he went on. His ‘style’ is a little more straightforward and not quite as dramatic as Father Greg or as chummy as Father Dennis. Today is Yvie’s birthday; it always surprises me that it is so close to mine. Also, Olivia de Haviland passed away.

Andy came out about 12, and I went in to get some leftover boiled eggs, and chili, which I made into Frito pie with corn chips. For the first time ever, I think, we had to throw away the leftover broccoli salad. Also, they gave me some old apples that had been around since April (they were still good, though). Susan told me she had ordered my stuff on E-bay this morning, and I gave her the $107 or so dollars and got $2 back (Lottery money!), so books and DVDs are on the way, some that I’ve wanted to get for almost 2 years now. I peeled and cored the apples while I watched an old Spyro 2 game on YT, then boiled the pieces up with cinnamon and sugar. Took a short nap (woke up and thought it was night, but only about 4:30 PM. Ate the apples. Reading MT bio. At 6 PM went in and got cake, dip, and chips. It’s now almost 7:30 PM. Things are already about dried out.  Finished rosary a little after 8 PM. Read till bed.

 

7/27/2020: Up about 6:30 AM. Prayers, Bible. On a whim, started reading my collected short stories, and found a few corrections to be made in each. Started with ‘Zane and Jane’ and read up to ‘Chambers the Memoirist’. Went in and started my wash a little before 9 AM (Kam calling, but needing no cooking, just company), then boiled eggs, made my ramen, then made egg salad. About 10 AM swept the kitchen porch and changed loads, so I’m good till a little after 11 AM. Must look for covers for the Gardner books and today’s blog. Did so, posted, and at 11 AM switched loads, folded, and put away clothes.

Went at 12 and got the towels out of the dryer. At 1 PM made broccoli salad and finished off cake and dip for lunch. Reading MT bio. Made a list of next 10 books to consider getting; can’t believe I never even considered the Tolkien DVD. 

At 4 PM started supper, grassed Ginger, fed cats. Made fish rings and couscous. After I ate, I took a little nap. Rosary at 7:20 PM. Washed up at 8 PM. Read MT most of the evening, then to bed. Oh, Susan told me that Kaitlyn &RyanT are definitely buying the plot and building a house.

 

7/28/2020: How quickly the tail-end of July and the high summer is passing. We are already entering early fall-like weather. The green pecans are big enough for squirrels to begin chewing into them and leaving the sour remains behind. Up about 6:30 AM, wrote the bones of a dream, then prayers and Bible. No Perry Mason today; reading the last of MT bio. Went in at 9 AM and made Kam bacon and eggs, then used the grease, ramen, eggs, and bread to make my breakfast ramen. Checked a couple of times on the mail; I suppose today would be the earliest anything could come, but nothing yet. Caught the tail-end of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, from the diner to the end, the part I usually miss. 

Now 11:15 AM. From under the trees there is starting to arise that pencil-shaving smell. Gathered and blogged for NOT.

Kam called a little after 12 and I made him taquitos and dip. About 1 PM I rolled the garbage can in, checked the mail and porch. While I do have the anticipation of having my orders coming in, I also have the anxiety of waiting and watching until they’re all here. Made some toast and cheese for lunch. At 3:30 PM I mean to start cabbage and taters.

And so I did, going in to eat about 5 PM. It started to rain about 6:30 PM, so I turned off the AC and opened the windows to catch some Fallish air. Susan came by on their way to walk to check and make sure the AC was OK and told me John had been laid off. I called him about 7:30 PM to check on him, and he’s sad but not too upset; apparently he’d been sort of expecting it, [Covid] conditions being what they are. Went it at 8 PM to wash up. Susan asked me (of all people) questions about the SSA forms, and I asked her if she’d heard when the books and DVDs might come in. She said most had said August 1^st, but it could be earlier. At 8:30 PM said Rosary for John and his situation. It’s now 9:04 PM and I may start into MT’s Joan of Arc again. [I did.]

 

7/29/2020: Up at 5 AM. Prayers, Bible, AND rosary right away. Got covers for today’s NOT and blogged. Got dressed and prepared. Left at about 6:40 AM, went to TX Cooler, and bought TX Lotto. Wore mask, touched nothing with my bare hand, stood FAR away from anyone (there was only the attendant and one customer – in a mask), and used sanitizer afterwards. Home by 7:30 AM, then took a shower. The whole day ahead is thus ‘free’. Shall I work on my writing, or wait till August 1^st? It’s just possible – vaguely possible – sumpin’ may come in today.

And so it came to pass. I went out to the mailbox at about 10 AM – I had made Kam eggs and bacon, and myself ramen – and there it was! Only Yesterday! But of course I couldn’t get the port of my computer to open. I did some more short story corrections and read more of MT’s Joan of Arc. At lunch I made Kam some taquitos and dip and ate the leftover sausage and cabbage and taters. I went in about 3:30 PM to start supper, cooking rice, thawing chicken breasts, and microwaving broccoli and then throwing it all in the oven. Lots of thunder and clouds (I unplugged the TV and computer and AC for a while) and some rain (not a whole lot). Supper wasn’t ready till 5:15 PM, but I went in a little late because I was distracted watching The Flintstones. When I explained to Susan I hadn’t played the movie yet, she pointed out that they had an old TV/DVD player out in the washroom, and that I could use that. It was a real old boat-anchor tube model they hadn’t been able to sell, but it still works fine. Andy brought it over a little after 8 PM; he had to work late. After a bit, I started OY at about 9 PM and finished at 11 PM. 

A beautiful movie, and very emotional, about childhood and growing up. Susan thinks that something else might come in tomorrow morning; it looks like it. Will it be another DVD, or books? I am so happy now that I can watch my movies again.

 

7/30/2020: Up at 5:30 AM, prayers and Bible. Went seeking covers for NOT, then posted. Now almost 7 AM. I am tempted to start DVD list for future NOT feature.

And I did. Used all the Tolkien-related DVDs. Later I made a calculation: the $70 I paid for a VHS copy of Bakshi’s LOTR had the equivalent buying power of $191 in today’s market.

Feh. Well, the day went on; no merchandise in the mail. Made Kam toast and then taquitos and dip. I had ramen (with extras), then ramen with mushroom broccoli rice, and finished off the broccoli salad, which was already kind of … not of the best. At supper made chili corn, noodles; I had chili on bread with cheese and pickles. Selected covers for tomorrow’s NOT. It’s now almost 7 PM.

 

7/31/2020: Last day of July. Chesterton, Barrie, Shaw, Lord Howard de Walden, William Archer [famous picture of them dressed up for a cowboy movie]. Up fairly early from a dream of exorcizing the maggots and flies out of a couple of possessed corpses. Prayers, Bible. Worked on gathering more covers for today’s NOT. Made Kam some corn dogs and TX toast for breakfast; the mail came right then, and I brought the packages to the kitchen porch. Made my ramen for breakfast. My stuff [of the packages; some were for Susan] was The Gobblin’ Society [James P. Blaylock] and Over the Garden Wall [DVD].

 By noon I had read half the book and watched about 4 episodes worth of commentary. Chili for lunch. Started on taters about 2 PM. Worked on that till 5 PM and made the fish in between. Sometime afterwards I heard an almighty crack; a gigantic limb had fallen from one of the pecan trees. I washed up about 7:30 PM and Kam came in a little after 8 PM (with a bit of a panic about a tiny spider ballooning around the house) and we watched half a MST3K (Aztec Mummy) and ate some chips and dip. Took Kam in about 9:30 PM. Now a little after 10 PM and want to snug down and finish the Blaylock. Finished it about 11:30 PM (it was pretty good) and went to bed. 

Notes

I downloaded Mark Twain’s Joan of Arc, and now have the physical book, but I’ve read neither completely yet. But I will, I will. It’s in the queue.

The end of this July has also been a season of storm and lizards and falling tree limbs. I guess it’s just that time of year. Not so dry this year, so not so ‘Fallish’ yet.

Kelsey and Ryan were living out at the beach at the time while Ryan was working in the area. Kaitlyn and her Ryan have since finished their house in San Antonio and live there quite comfortably.

I didn’t have a bank account at the time, so needed Susan’s help ordering stuff. I remember we were even worried about Covid from packages in the mail. I still have that old ‘boat anchor’ TV/DVD player, though I haven’t used it in years.

I've got DVDs of some of those movies I was only watching on TCM at the time. It'll be Over the Garden Wall time again before you know it.

Drawn in by Gravity: All My Gravity Falls Stuff

Welcome to Gravity Falls !

Twin brother and sister Dipper and Mabel Pines are sent to the small town of Gravity Falls, Oregon to spend their summer vacation with their great uncle ("Grunkle") Stan. Upon arrival, Grunkle Stan enlists the siblings' help in running The Mystery Shack, a self-owned tourist trap that overcharges unsuspecting customers. While Dipper has a hard time getting used to his new surroundings, Mabel's upbeat optimism comes in handy in her quest to find true love.

But there may be more to Gravity Falls than meets the eye as Dipper and Mabel encounter strange occurrences and weird creatures. When Dipper stumbles upon an elusive book, he discovers it is the answer to uncovering the town's mysterious happenings. Soon, Dipper and Mabel realize they must rely on each other to navigate this unfamiliar place. Meanwhile, Grunkle Stan guards a secret of his own—one that just might hold the key to unlocking the deeper mystery that is Gravity Falls.

Includes all 40 episodes!

Bonus Content:

Disc 7:

• Audio Commentaries on All 40 Episodes with Creator Alex Hirsch and Members of the Cast and Crew
• One Crazy Summer: A Look Back at Gravity Falls - Featuring Interviews with Alex Hirsch, Actors Jason Ritter, Kristen Schaal, Jackie Buscarino, Thurop Van Orman, Carl Faruolo, and Niki Yang, Creative Director Michael Rianda, Producers Rob Renzetti and Bria
• The Hirsch Twins: Alex & Ariel Hirsch Remember Their Own Summers Growing Up
• Deleted Scenes: Over an Hour of Never-Before-Seen Content
• Between the Pines: Behind-the-Scenes Series Finale Special
• Shorts: Interstitial Programming Between Seasons 1 and 2
• Promos: Commercial and Other Promo Materials from the Show's Run

Gravity Falls: Journal 3 is the almost life-sized reproduction of the famed and mysterious tome from the Disney series, Gravity Falls. “Journal 3 brims with every page ever seen on the show plus all-new pages with monsters and secrets, notes from Dipper and Mabel, and the Author's full story. Fans of Gravity Falls will simply love this 288-page full-color jacketed hardcover version of Journal 3! Plus the book jacket doubles as an exclusive poster!” – Amazon.

“For their summer vacation, 12-year-old twins Dipper and Mabel Pines are dropped off from their home in Piedmont, California, to the fictitious town of Gravity Falls, Roadkill County, Oregon, to spend the summer with their great uncle Stan Pines (often shortened to Grunkle Stan), who runs a tourist trap called the "Mystery Shack". Things are not what they seem in this small town, and with the help of a mysterious journal that Dipper finds in the forest, they begin unraveling the town's mysteries. With Wendy Corduroy, Mystery Shack cashier; Soos Ramirez, a friend of Dipper and Mabel and handyman to Grunkle Stan; plus an assortment of other characters, Dipper and Mabel always have an intriguing day to look forward to.” – Wikipedia.

Written by Alex Hirsch (creator of the show) and Rob Renzetti, and designed and drawn by Andy Gonsalves and Stephani Ramirez, the book functions as a short review of every episode including details never revealed on the show. Although Gravity Falls (the series) finished in 2016 by Hirsch’s design after two seasons, it continues to fascinate watchers (perhaps because it wasn’t run into the ground and completed a satisfying story arc) who to this day are publishing their first reactions on YouTube and devouring new graphic novels as they are released. The exclusive poster is a reproduction blueprint of Fiddleford H. McGucket’s most memorable inventions. It doesn't include a monocle, but has a book-mark ribbon. There is a fancier edition available that shows secret pages under blacklight!

There have been many 'add-ons' to the Gravity Falls franchise (comic books, journals, and such) but the only item I thought really checking out was this one, Gravity Falls: Lost Legends, written by the series creator Alex Hirsch himself. The four tales therein span time periods from when Stan and Ford were kids until right before Dipper and Mabel leave the Falls. The collection ends with the ostensible narrator, the gnome Shmebulock, more or less advocating another season. A tease, or a sidelong hint from Hirsch?

I came back yesterday from a family party and found The Book of Bill (by Alex Hirsch, Hyperion Books) waiting in our mailbox. It had only come out in July of this year; at first I wasn’t aware of it, and then I waited awhile before ordering, which saved me a good chunk of change because the copy was sold as Used Very Good. Still, I might not have bought it even yet, if I had not believed I needed it for Free Delivery (read those details carefully, kids!). Still, I don’t regret having it.

The book is another volume connected to the popular and amazing Gravity Falls series, purported to be written by the series’ main villain, Bill Cipher, a bow-tied, top-hat wearing triangle with one eye, an interdimensional dream-demon with designs on our world.

Hoped to be dead, but long rumored to still be alive, “The demon that terrorized Gravity Falls is back from the great beyond to finally tell his side of the story in The Book of Bill, written by none other than Bill Cipher himself.

Inside, Bill sheds light on his bizarre origins, his sinister effects on human history, the Pines family’s most embarrassing secrets, and the key to overthrowing the world (laid out in a handy step-by-step guide). This chaotic and beautifully illustrated tome contains baffling riddles, uncrackable ciphers, lost Journal 3 pages, ways to cheat death, the meaning of life, and a whole chapter on Silly Straws. But most importantly, The Book of Bill is deeply, deeply cursed.

Alex Hirsch, #1 New York Times bestselling author, resuscitates this infamous villain and invites fans to a Bill’s eye view of the Gravity Falls universe. There are many who believe this book is too dangerous for human hands. But if you can’t resist, just know this: Once you make a deal with Bill, it’s not so easily undone . . .” – Amazon.

From what I’ve read so far, the added caution “Beware: This book travels to dimensions meant for older readers,” might not be so frivolous as it seems. Though warned at the beginning that Bill is a lying liar, he espouses opinions that just might appeal to the cynical and rebellious, opinions seriously held by many today. “A human is an organic machine made out of blood and anxiety, designed to deliver a random bundle of genetic material into the future and then turn to dust … it was designed by random mutation…” is professed to be believed by many today, though few strictly live their lives by it (usually only when they want to do something that is contra-indicated socially or morally).

What The Book of Bill reminds me of is The Book of the Subgenious, hilarious and amusing in the fact that it often says the quiet part out loud, the feared opinions and conclusions of the hopeless and isolated. These might sound quite reasonable to the despairing, with the promise that if you abandon normal beliefs and accept that reality is an illusion and love is a trick, you will lose anxiety, ‘go with the flow’ of Chaos, and quit struggling.

Quite a dark philosophy to be presented to a so-called tween audience, if you remember the grasping and flailing emotions of that stage in life. Although Bill is portrayed as a liar and an ultimate loser in the end, only seeking a way to return to power, I wonder if his philosophy is quite the thing to dangle in front of the impressionable, or if they are guaranteed to take away the right message from what is, after all, a tie-in to a Disney show. What with figures like Maleficent and Cruella DeVille being re-invented as understandable heroes of their own tales, is it impossible that some kids might embrace Bill as their own?

In the meantime, it is comical and entertaining, and probably quite safe if you have a resistance to taking it seriously, and a little skipping ahead shows that Bill does not ‘win’ with his attitudes. Scorn is the best reaction to a villain’s villainy. And in the end, who would take it seriously except an old toot used to dissecting literary works (no matter how humble) for their philosophical underpinnings? Jokingly, of course, though no joke is ever without its serious side.

Note: I've been watching a lot of the fan content on YouTube and felt I should gather together all my own Gravity Falls stuff into one post in one easy place. It's been a hectic day. This is the best I can come up with this late in the evening.

 

Well, Now What Am I Going To Do?

I have a rather peculiar quirk (or at least it seems to be peculiar to me) that I call ‘trapeze living’. By that I mean I tend to live from, well, I won’t say from moment to moment, but between short-term goals. I will be strangely focused on a short-term goal, putting most of my attention on getting there, even setting aside long-term goals (I have difficulties with those, anyway). It’s like I’m swinging across on a trapeze and not thinking about reaching the tent pole at the other side, but just about the next swing. Well, I mean you’ve got to, if you’re not going to plunge to your doom, but there’s that moment when you’ve safely hanging on that next swing but don’t quite see where the next swing toward your goal is hanging. So you teeter back and forth a while looking for what will lead you forward. And that’s kind of where I am. Oh, I’ve got things to do, of course, but I’ve got no exciting goal to throw ahead that will lead me farther down the timeline, no carrot on the stick, as such. I’m kind of stuck living in the present (not a bad thing, really) and it makes me antsy, and to be honest, a little bored. You could say I’m living from crisis to crisis, or from peak to peak, depending on how you look at the ‘goals’. So, what can I do now? Well, I can write a post about it. And now I’ve at least got content for today.

List Mania 1985: Checking It Twice

10 Most Recommended Single Fantasies

1)   The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle

2)   The Face in the Frost, by John Bellairs

3)   The Elfin Ship, by James P. Blaylock

4)   Little, Big, by John Crowley

5)   The King of Elfland’s Daughter, by Lord Dunsany

6)   In the Suicide Mountains, by John Gardner

7)   Phantastes, by George Macdonald

8)   The Book of the Dun Cow, by Walter Wangerin, Jr.

9)   Lud-in-the-Mist, by Hope Mirrlees

10)    The Once and Future King, by T. H. White

Ten Most Recommended Serial Fantasies

1)   The Lord of the Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien

2)   The Narnia Chronicles, by C. S. Lewis

3)   The Earthsea Trilogy, by Ursula K. LeGuin

4)   The Dark is Rising, by Susan Cooper

5)   Riddle of Stars, by Patricia K. McKillip

6)   The Gormenghast Trilogy, by Mervyn Peake

7)   The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson

8)   The Biography of Manuel, by James Branch Cabell

9)   The Deryni Chronicles, by Katherine Kurtz

10)   The Space Trilogy, by C. S. Lewis

Ten Best Children’s Fantasies

1)   The Prydain Chronicles, by Lloyd Alexander

2)   The Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum

3)   Alice in Wonderland and Underground, by Lewis Carroll

4)   James and the Giant Peach, by Roald Dahl

5)   The Wind in the Willows, by Kenneth Grahame

6)   The Jungle Books, by Rudyard Kipling

7)   The Princess and the Goblin, by George Macdonald

8)   Bedknobs and Broomsticks, by Mary Norton

9)   The Hobbit, by J. R. R. Tolkien

10)   The Sword in the Stone, by T. H. White

Ten Worst Fantasy Novels That I’ve Read

1)   The Sword of Shanarra, by Terry Brooks

2)   The Green Knight, by Vera Chapman

3)   The Sword and the Satchel, by Elizabeth Boyer

4)   Urshurak, by Jerry Nichols and the Brothers Hildebrandt

5)   The Neverending Story, by Michael Ende

6)   Prince of Annwn, by Evangeline Walton

7)   Spellsinger, by Allen Dean Foster

8)   Merlin’s Ring, by H. Warner Munn

9)   The Sleeping Dragon, by Joel Rosenberg

10)  The River of the Dancing Gods, by Jack L. Chalker

“Fry: Back in the 20th century, I had all five of your albums. Adam Horovitz: That was a thousand years ago! Now we got seven.” – Futurama.

Every time I think I can put the file case with The Broadsheet back away into its semi-out-of-the-way niche, I find myself dragging it out again. This time it was because of the thought that listing these lists would be pretty much of a ‘state of the head’ assessment of my experience and knowledge at that period.

On the whole, I can stand by my opinions, though I judge now that I was playing rather fast and loose with the categories of singles and serials. I made the lists basically from what was in my library and from what I’d actually read. There were several then-available books that I’ve read since that don’t appear out of sheer ignorance. And, of course, I couldn’t list any book that had yet to be written. In the one category I would put The Thirteen Clocks (1950) by James Thurber, and in the other Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell (2004) by Susanna Clarke. I also note that many books on the ‘Worst’ List are now in the Shadow Library, although it was many years, sometimes decades, before I could let them go. In making the lists I was probably more concerned with establishing my bona fides than with any serious critical assessment. After all, when you make an assessment, you make an 'ass' out of what you 'ment.' 

And not that it means anything, but this is the 2,250th post! On the 25th, no less.