Thursday Thoughts: Isn't October Bad Enough? It Should Be Good

Yesterday was not a good day for me. I was all ready to enjoy it. New month, fresh start. I already had a few books on order, the first in months. A load of groceries coming in the cool morning air. I’d done all my morning things, prayers, Bible, penitential act, glucose reading, weight, blood pressure, cartoons on MeTV to lift my spirits. But then I remembered to tear the page off the calendar, and here my woes began.

I saw I had an upcoming appointment next week with Dr. Nash. The doctor is my leg guy, and he had made me this appointment back in January. I had been thinking that October would be free from this sort of thing (I’d just seen my regular doctor and my foot guy). I had, as it were, completely forgotten about Nash. I was supposed to be working on losing weight in preparation for a possible knee replacement, and while I have lost some weight, I know it is not as much as it would be if I had applied myself more consistently.

Not only did I have a sudden schedule, but I also suddenly had a bit of a weaselly scramble. Should I postpone the appointment? Would that do any good in the long run? Probably if I went now, he’d just tell me to do what I’d want to do with the postponement, try to lose some more weight, come for another appointment. Probably best to just face the music and fess up. Either way, though, it’s a bit of a headache.

Still, I hate to look – weak? inadequate? – in front of a doctor. Even if that’s what I am. He’s a man with a job, a business, a degree. It’s like going in front of a teacher when you haven’t done your homework. At my age there aren’t too many people who can call you on the carpet, but a doctor (no matter the age) is one of them. At least that’s the way I feel.

Besides these anxiety woes, I had to carry my groceries in by myself. Andy will usually lend me a hand, but today he had to go out on a record call. And this time I had tried to buy enough to last two weeks, so the load was particularly large. It left me with an aching knee all day.

I was also reminded there were some dark anniversaries coming up.

I tried to distract myself with my usual shows on YouTube, but it was all bad news and none of it held my attention. “I asked her for some happy news, but she just smiled and turned away.” And it just got worse as the day wore on. Even the good news was bad news. Probably the climax was learning that Jane Goodall had passed away. Not unexpected, but depressing. I had been hearing about her since at least middle school. I was kind of surprised to hear she had still been alive. It was a final flip on the nose.

One thing I was glad I had done and that consoled me was my Script for the day. That was before the bad day had started, of course; I just hope I feel up to the next bit. It’s at a rather dark point of the story; I don’t think it will cheer me up any, but maybe I can take some satisfaction in the process. Of having it done. If I can get it done.

Moan over. I do have good things to look forward to if I just keep them in mind. Tomorrow is another day; oh wait, it’s already tomorrow. Well, we’ll see how things look in the morning light. “And I don’t want to hear any bad news!”