I am so tired of The
Rings of Power. I mean I am tired of having to think of new things to say
about it. They keep repeating the same kind of mistakes over and over again.
Most egregious to the longtime Tolkien fan are the contradictions to the lore
and to the spirit of the Legendarium. There are the slavish echoes and mockery
of the Jackson movies. There are the putridities of style and phrase: one
wonders if these scriptwriters can actually understand English or if it is just
a series of sounds to them that they knock together until something sonorous
but senseless emerges.
It confounds me when there are
people who actually claim to like it. I can understand that there are people
who don’t understand Tolkien, who maybe don’t understand real Fantasy, or even
good storytelling. I can only imagine that they are entertained by a series of
bright images and exciting sounds, like an infant that has a set of keys
dangled in front of it. I understand viewership has been going steadily down; I
certainly wouldn’t watch it if I didn’t feel something like the observer of a
crime who is duty-bound to witness to the tragedy. But it is great fun to mock
it and guess with almost uncanny accuracy what trite phrase will spew from the characters
next, or what conventional stereotypical action will be played out.
It pains me to watch this stuff and consider what could have been done. What a good Tolkien adaptation could have been made at the same expense, or, failing that, an adaptation of any other worthy work, possibly at least four other worthy works. It is galling.
Well, here is Wikipedia’s
summation of the episodes we watched. It would be tedious to try to put the
patchwork of events together myself, almost impossible, since they do not flow
in any natural way. How they are assembled here presents them so that they seem
far more logical and coherent than they are experienced.
Episode 6: “Where Is He?” Celebrimbor focuses
on making rings for Men. Annatar offers to take care of Eregion's
administration and gives him a container which he claims to hold mithril.
Outside the city, Adar tells Galadriel that the crown of Sauron's master, Morgoth, was
able to destroy Sauron's previous physical form [another contradiction to the
Lore: Morgoth’s crown was beaten into a collar with which he was bound and
thrust beyond the Doors of Night]. He believes that together, the crown and the
Elven Rings of Power could destroy Sauron for good. Elendil refuses to pledge
his loyalty to Ar-Pharazôn and is sentenced to trial by abyss [the writers seem
to think the Numenoreans, even the Faithful, consider the Valar to be some kind
of gods and treat them as such; the Numenoreans were strictly monotheistic], in
which he would be thrown into the sea to face a giant creature, the Sea Worm.
Míriel claims the right to be tried in Elendil's stead; the Sea Worm spares her
life and the Faithful hail her as the "Queen of the Sea". Tom takes
the Stranger to a forest of dead trees where he is meant to find a magic staff.
The Stranger has a vision of Nori and Poppy being threatened by the Dark Wizard
and must decide between helping his friends and fulfilling his destiny [John has pointed out to me how this recalls Luke having to choose between training with Yoda and rescuing his friends; also we saw that Sauron suddenly has Force powers. This ain't Star Wars; this is supposed to be Middle-earth] .
Galadriel realizes that Sauron has lured Adar's army to Eregion because he does
not have one of his own. Adar ignores her concerns and begins the Siege of
Eregion.
Episode 7: “Doomed To Die” The
Orcs aim their trebuchets at the mountains
beyond the city, causing a rockslide that blocks the river upstream and allows
them to assault the city's walls on foot. Elrond comes to Khazad-dûm and asks
Durin IV to send aid to Eregion. Durin IV decides not to when Durin III attempts
to mine more mithril, which could awaken the evil that lives beneath the mine.
As Celebrimbor creates nine Rings of Power for Men, he notices signs that he is
trapped in an illusion (he uses the term 'Mister' Mouse. Surely it would be more tone appropriate for an ancient Elf to use 'Master'? It seems to me it would sound better. 'Mister' sounds more Hobbity) . He confronts Annatar, who ends the illusion and reveals
that Celebrimbor has made the nine rings using Sauron's blood rather than
mithril [there is no indication in the Lore that you need mithril to make a
ring of power; Nenya is rather especially described as the Ring of Adamant and
Mithril, while Vilya ‘mightiest of the Three’ is of gold. Also it is not a new
idea, as I remember reading of a rejected script where Sauron does this to make
the One Ring, a rather simplistic and primitive way of ‘infusing it with his
power.’]. Elrond, Gil-galad, and the forces of Lindon arrive and attack the
Orcs. That night, Galadriel escapes with the help of Arondir, who followed the
Orcs' trail. The pair sneak into Eregion. Celebrimbor attempts to escape with
the nine rings and finds Galadriel, who takes them while Celebrimbor stays to
delay Sauron. As the sun rises, a small number of Elves outside the city are
faced with a new wave of Orcs led by Adar. Elrond is disappointed when Durin IV
does not arrive. Adar stabs Arondir [I almost cheered; enough with his physics
defying acrobatics!] and takes Nenya from Elrond. [I wonder what he hopes to do
with it. Nenya’s powers are described as healing and protection from decay.
Maybe make the Orcs all better?]
There is only one episode
left of this season of The Rings of Power. What fresh hell awaits? John
predicts that Glug will betray Adar in a sort of Wormtongue/Saruman move; I
wonder if Galadriel will have to barter the Nine Rings to get Nenya back. We
shall see. The only thing that is sure is that it will not be good, “when so
much bad has happened.”
