The DVD Archive: March of the Wooden Soldiers

 

Babes in Toyland (1934). AKA March of the Wooden Soldiers

I was going over several Christmas movies in my head, and I was surprised that I hadn’t listed March of the Wooden Soldiers among my DVDs. I was further surprised when I found out I hadn’t listed it anywhere on the blog. So here it is. It is almost by courtesy a holiday movie, played around both Thanksgiving and Christmas. It has gone by many titles. It is both a Laurel and Hardy film and a children’s film, and it doesn’t quite succeed as either. Oh, it’s not terrible. It’s a strange, fever-dream of a movie, almost odder than the old black-and-white Alice in Wonderland of the year before.

          The story takes place in Toyland, a realm of nursery rhymes, fairy tales, and children’s games. Ollie Dee and Stanley Dum work for the Toymaker, a man who supplies all of Santa’s toys. They must try to save their landlady Mother Peep (the Old Woman in the Shoe) from being booted out of her house by Silas Barnaby (the Crooked Man), who wants to marry Bo-peep, who prefers Tom Tom the Piper’s Son. After the duo foil Barnaby’s plots, the villain tries to lead an invasion of Toyland by the Bogeymen from the dark side of children’s imagination. But that fails when Laurel and Hardy activate a life-size troop of wooden soldiers that they have accidentally produced at the Toy Factory and drive the Bogeymen and Barnaby away.

“Based on Victor Herbert's popular 1903 operetta Babes in Toyland,” Walt Disney personally approved the appearance of Mickey Mouse (the Mouse Who Ran Up the Clock) in the film along with the use of the song "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" for the especially nightmare-inducing Three Pigs. There are some songs that do not seem aimed at a child audience which stop the action dead and seem to last forever.

The libretto was developed into at least three other productions,  by Disney in 1961 (with Ray Bolger as Silas Barnaby; we had a song from it on a record, a story in the big Storyland anthology, and a comic in the Walt Disney Digests, though I don’t remember ever watching the film), another a TV movie by Disney in 1986 (with Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves), and an animated MGM one in 1997 (some voices by Charles Nelson Reilley, Jim Belushi, and Christopher Plummer – how’s that for eclectic?). Characters, events, and relationships vary for each one as the libretto is adapted. Perhaps one day, someone will do it really right.

 

From Babes in Toyland (1934)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtUQIfa9byM

 

From Babes in Toyland (1961)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDP0TWJSgDI

 

Castle in Spain by Buster Poindexter

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3idwH42hQk

 

The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t But Then Was, Simpsons Parody

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mug1B1hBt5k

An Ornamental Memory

 

It was the '73-'74 school year and I was in Fourth Grade at McQueeney Elementary. My teacher was Mrs. Bratton; I think I have mentioned elsewhere that she was the Miss Othmar to my Linus. We had been Jehovah's Witnesses for almost three years (three years is a significant amount of time; for instance,  when you are nine years old; it is 1/3 of your life). Christmas time was always fraught for us, both at school and personally, when the heart yearned for celebration, color, community, and of course presents. We were not absolutely cold turkey on the subject; we still watched all the Christmas specials and attended the SMI Christmas Party (with its free meal, presents for the workers, and free candy for the kids, it would have been financially foolish not too). But there were no presents to be unwrapped, no home decorations, no wishing anybody Merry Christmas or even Happy Holidays, without it being a moral quandary. At school it just made you odd.

So you can imagine my mixed feelings when Mrs. Bratton gave everyone in our class a little satiny ornament like this with each student's name on it in glitter. Could I accept it? I felt I had to. Did I want to accept it? I absolutely did. It was a momento from my favorite teacher, my crush; although part of a class-wide presentation it had MY name on it. It made me feel 'seen', to use the phrase. Not only as part of all the other kids, but apart from them, even apart from my brothers, a beloved unit but all too often seen as 'the herd'. My own name there, written in golden glitter. My mother was not so deep in JW brainwashing that she had the heart to make me throw it away, but of course we had no Christmas tree to hang it on. It was stowed away.

When we came back to Christmas sometime in the late Seventies I could at last hang it up. Through the years it has become a little battered and worn, but not bad for a cheap little something over half a century old. It's 'silk' is unraveling a bit amd it lost its original little loop to attach the hook. That has been replaced with a yarn bookmark that belonged to Mike, one of his own sentimental Christmas presents, attached with a pushpin. Once I pass there will be little reason for anyone to keep it anymore: it is one of those 'Tragic Treasures' that has no real value except to me. There are few things I would regret the loss of more; it is irreplaceable. But the memory is the important part. And here it is. 

Friday Fiction: She Was the Most Powerful Witch of Us All

 

16. She Was the Most Powerful Witch of Us All: (Dream 2017)

A boy and his teenage sister have gone to stay the week with one of their mother's old aunts who has agreed to watch them. One day the aunt has to go out. Suddenly the sister, who is bored, wants to have some friends over for a party, and her boyfriend is curious and disruptive about the property. The boy, who has been respectful and even a little awed by the aunt and her house, goes around trying to restore things, discovering as he does that he has certain powers and calling on other relatives to help. In effect he cleans up but, in the process, must rearrange things, which the aunt, in the process of years, has allowed to get shabby, disorganized, and hoarded. Another Aunt, who arrives to help the boy ("I couldn't help hearing about your troubles, people and THINGS kept talking about them") reveals that the group of aunts were all witches, and the one they were staying with was the most powerful witch of them all but dedicated her powers to making herself the "perfect" home. The boy's own mother didn't want him to be part of that nonsense and made the family swear never to mention magic, but now he has learned how to do it himself out of desperation. When the first aunt comes back, he apologizes for all the changes, telling her all the things he had to do, including "bringing back Caer Oom and the old time" for a bit. The aunt is delighted: he has brought together family that has been scattered for a long time, learned about his own powers, and actually reminded her of her own goals which she has lost sight of for many years.

This is one of my recorded dreams that I culled out onto a list as a possible short story or a Young Adult novel. It was set in a more contemporary time than the illustration I've used.

Action Figures to be Noted: The War of the Rohirrim

 

I don't know why I didn't think of it before, but of course they were going to have action figure tie-ins to The War of the Rohirrim. The first two are Figuarts, which means they are larger and better articulated than the usual figures. The other four figures (described as Wave 1) come with the build-a-figure parts of the Snow Troll, an interesting sales ploy that almost assures the sale of the others.

Added Note: Doesn't Helm look like a Viking Santa Claus?

Out of the Shadow Library Comes Something More Concise

 

“By no stretch of fancy can the human mind connect together snuff and diamonds and wax and loose clockwork.”

“I think I see the connection,” said the priest. “This Glengyle was mad against the French Revolution. He was an enthusiast for the ancien regime, and was trying to re-enact literally the family life of the last Bourbons. He had snuff because it was the eighteenth century luxury; wax candles, because they were the eighteenth century lighting; the mechanical bits of iron represent the locksmith hobby of Louis XVI; the diamonds are for the Diamond Necklace of Marie Antoinette.”

Both the other men were staring at him with round eyes. “What a perfectly extraordinary notion!” cried Flambeau. “Do you really think that is the truth?”

“I am perfectly sure it isn’t,” answered Father Brown, “only you said that nobody could connect snuff and diamonds and clockwork and candles. I give you that connection off-hand. The real truth, I am very sure, lies deeper.”

He paused a moment and listened to the wailing of the wind in the turrets. Then he said, “The late Earl of Glengyle was a thief. He lived a second and darker life as a desperate housebreaker. He did not have any candlesticks because he only used these candles cut short in the little lantern he carried. The snuff he employed as the fiercest French criminals have used pepper: to fling it suddenly in dense masses in the face of a captor or pursuer. But the final proof is in the curious coincidence of the diamonds and the small steel wheels. Surely that makes everything plain to you? Diamonds and small steel wheels are the only two instruments with which you can cut out a pane of glass.”

The bough of a broken pine tree lashed heavily in the blast against the windowpane behind them, as if in parody of a burglar, but they did not turn round. Their eyes were fastened on Father Brown.

“Diamonds and small wheels,” repeated Craven ruminating. “Is that all that makes you think it the true explanation?”

“I don’t think it the true explanation,” replied the priest placidly; “but you said that nobody could connect the four things. The true tale, of course, is something much more humdrum. Glengyle had found, or thought he had found, precious stones on his estate. Somebody had bamboozled him with those loose brilliants, saying they were found in the castle caverns. The little wheels are some diamond-cutting affair. He had to do the thing very roughly and in a small way, with the help of a few shepherds or rude fellows on these hills. Snuff is the one great luxury of such Scotch shepherds; it’s the one thing with which you can bribe them. They didn’t have candlesticks because they didn’t want them; they held the candles in their hands when they explored the caves.”

“Is that all?” asked Flambeau after a long pause. “Have we got to the dull truth at last?”

“Oh, no,” said Father Brown.

As the wind died in the most distant pine woods with a long hoot as of mockery Father Brown, with an utterly impassive face, went on:

“I only suggested that because you said one could not plausibly connect snuff with clockwork or candles with bright stones. Ten false philosophies will fit the universe; ten false theories will fit Glengyle Castle. But we want the real explanation of the castle and the universe. But are there no other exhibits?” - The Honor of Israel Gow, G. K. Chesterton

Meditating on my previous post reminded me of this little paperback I used to have, and in which I first read The Honor of Israel Gow.  I know Chesterton is not a scientist or a formal philosopher, but he makes a lot of good points in entertaining ways.

 

Thursday Thoughts: Clarifying (I Hope) My Position

 

I recently underwent a controversy with a loved one over Facebook, pursued through Messenger (privately) though it began as a published meme. I cannot seem to let it go until I explain (somewhere) my thoughts. He meant it as a cute kind of a joke; I saw it as the subversion of a popular culture children’s icon in service of an ideology that the icon did not (in its officially released work) support. It was accompanied by a collage not only of actual images from the icon’s career, but Rule 34 generated sexual images. It did not seem to be just a joke to me; it subtly promoted, even propagandized for, a damaging point of view. The debate soon evolved into what we meant by facts and what we meant by science.

 [Innocent Smith is on trial for shooting at Dr. Warner. Dr. Pym has declared Innocent to be a ‘destructive type’, doomed by nature to a path of ruin; in answer, Michael Moon declares Dr. Warner to be a ‘destructible type’ doomed by his character to be ever assaulted.] “Dr. Pym was indeed on his feet, looking pallid and rather vicious. “I have strictly CON-fined myself,” he said nasally, “to books to which immediate reference can be made. I have Sonnenschein’s ‘Destructive Type’ here on the table, if the defence wish to see it. Where is this wonderful work on Destructability Mr. Moon is talking about? Does it exist? Can he produce it?”

“Produce it!” cried the Irishman with a rich scorn. “I’ll produce it in a week if you’ll pay for the ink and paper.”

“Would it have much authority?” asked Pym, sitting down.

“Oh, authority!” said Moon lightly; “that depends on a fellow’s religion.” – Manalive, G. K. Chesterton.

In other words, yes, facts are facts, but interpretation of facts lie within the characters and aims of the interpreters [a fellow’s ‘religion’]. An argument that, of course, cuts both ways. But it does not allow either side to claim its interpretation of a fact is itself a fact.

“Facts," murmured Basil, like one mentioning some strange, far-off animals, "how facts obscure the truth.  […] Every detail points to something, certainly; but generally to the wrong thing. Facts point in all directions, it seems to me, like the thousands of twigs on a tree. It's only the life of the tree that has unity and goes up—only the green blood that springs, like a fountain, at the stars.” – The Club of Queer Trades, G. K. Chesterton

He made an appeal to the ‘science,’ linking article after article, and described what I would describe as an ‘interpretation of facts’ as ‘the facts’. Science admits that it is an ever-evolving process and different scientists may disagree about these interpretations and the one that works best is usually accepted but may change in time; medicine itself is as much an art and a philosophy as it is a science (you may well be able to do something but is it the right thing to do?). Feelings are at most a datum and cannot be appealed to as an argument; they are changeable, nebulous, and anecdotal, and may be affected or formed by many factors, including mere selfishness. And even if 99 out of 100 had these feelings, it might make something legally and socially acceptable but not correct. Not a truth-affirming ‘fact’, as such. He is making as much of a philosophical argument as I am, though he has not acknowledged it as such.

We left things at a truce and not a triumph for either. We both continue to think we are right. He believes his position is kinder because it promotes a point of view that makes some people happier; I believe mine is kinder, if sterner, in that it does not indulge in emotional fantasies leading to physical damage. Ironically, he might possibly make the same accusation levelled at my religious beliefs. And then we’d have a whole other philosophical argument to unpack.

And who needs that at Christmas?

Wideo Wednesday: Singing Carols

There are innumerable adaptations of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and as one might expect from the title, many of them are musicals. I think the first adaptation we ever saw was the acting out of "Ebenezer Scrooge" on Captain Kangaroo (with Mr. Green Jeans as Scrooge and Mr. Bunny Rabbit as one all-purpose Ghost, if I remember correctly). There was sure to be one heart-warming song, one desolate repentant song, and one or two actual Christmas carols. "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" (yes, that's the correct punctuation) and "Good King Wenceslas" are favorites. Villain songs (like "We're Despicable") might accent the darker elements of the tale. Here are a few I've plucked off of YouTube, plus Mr. McGrew's Christmas Carol from The Simpsons for good measure.

Ebenezer Scrooge (Teresa Brewer)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mo_QdtpGyc

We’re Despicable (Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol, 1962)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY2GB47cabs

Thank You Very Much, Mr. Scrooge (Scrooge, 1970)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dkq7WZTzkLQ

I Wear a Chain (The Stingiest Man in Town, 1978)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mmu4znI-zs&list=PL_2jZnipHnMKhdEiH7bUDyoraEdU_WJ36&index=7

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (A Christmas Carol, 1999)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJpCUMdYPyk

Good King Wenceslas (A Muppet Christmas Carol, 1987)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owWfN6-9hAQ&list=PL95B02D6E9667F567&index=7

Mr. McGrew’s Christmas Carol (The Simpsons)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUmL0SOPUG8

 

Im Jest Sane

 

“Middle English demonstrates the need for standardized spelling and usage because during that period, there was a significant lack of consistent spelling across different regions and writers, with the same words often spelled multiple ways, making reading and understanding written text challenging due to the lack of a set standard. This issue was largely resolved with the introduction of printing, which helped solidify consistent spellings in modern English.” Asking people to try to use they’re, there, and their correctly is not nit-picking or one-upmanship, but an attempt to maintain readability. Otherwise, in five hundred years we could be back to this.

Personal Notice

Not too long ago my sister voiced her concerns that I might be putting too much of my ‘personal information’ on my blog. I assured her that not only did I never put any useful information here, but that I only had two constant readers, and that I was pretty sure they were both members of our family.

So you could have knocked me over with a feather when I suddenly got a comment on my post about Mom the other week. I don’t get many comments, and I haven’t got any for at least the past year. For some reason I can’t quite figure out how to reply, so I’d just like to thank Astri for her interest, and to wish her a Happy Yuletide Season and a Merry Christmas.

Since her comment I seem to have THREE constant readers. I never really started this blog to garnish readers (though it is pleasant to think anyone is interested), but to record myself and my interests, to help my own memories (which become more fugitive as I get older), my writing (especially stuff not likely to ever be published anywhere else), and perhaps to be memories for my family when I’m gone (maybe even members just born or yet to be born, who would never know me otherwise; certainly not in such detail). Nice to think that my ‘story’ is out there for others, as well. 

Diary 2019: Mid-December

12/15/2019: Up at about 5 AM. Showered, dressed, prayers, catechism, Bible. A rather foggy walk to church. I think I’m finally getting into a place where I can think less about whether I’m doing the right thing technically (because I’m doing it) and more about the Mass itself. Came home, and settled down, not really hungry until about 4 PM (which is good, because I’ve got no food and want to save my last $2, still chasing the Mega-Millions – I could go buy ramen, but where’s the point in that?). Warm, clear afternoon. Read more Turgenev, especially a very good short story, Bezhin Meadow. Went and got some of that hamburger they offered me and fried that up about 4 PM. An evening of lack-luster Fox animation, and now trying to see if I can get up in time for the new Rick and Morty. Stayed up and watched the new R&M, then bed at 11 PM.

 

12/16/2019: Up about 6 AM. Prayed, dressed, then left a little after 7 AM to go get a ticket. The weather yesterday said there might be rain, but this morning it only said cloudy, so I decided to go on. Right leg pretty sore, but I made it. Dropped a couple of ugly pennies in the fountain; lines were long as I passed the donut shop, extending into the sidewalk; the old man who hangs around the store had found a torn half of a dollar and was looking around for the other half. I got back to the park and the wind suddenly whipped up with a few drops of rain and then as I was coming up the driveway the rain started. Not heavy rain. I just made it back. Read the catechism and the Bible, and now Perry Mason is on. Soon I’ll be ready to start the wash and finally have a meal. Nothing like a semi-fast to make you appreciate some good ol’ ramen.

I started my wash at 9 AM, went in, peeled Kam’s apple, made a sandwich, and got my ramen with bread. Went back in about 10:10 AM and helped Kam get ready, and I’m glad I made him wear a jacket because it was a lot colder than when I went in the morning, but it wasn’t raining anymore. I really wished I had brought a coat as I waited on the porch, and the bus didn’t get here until 11:50 AM. Put the wash in the dryer and went in. In the future: gyut-dang broccoli salad.

Put GGACP [Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast] on and fell asleep for about 40 minutes; got up about 12:15 PM and got the wash, just in time to cross paths with the pool guy. Weather now clear and just a little warmer, but still cool. Brought the broccoli out to cut it up, then made salad inside. It’s now almost 3 PM, and I’ve already fed the cats.

Kam called me at 3:30 PM and asked me to meet him at the end of the driveway at 4 PM, to help him carry his Christmas orders in. I grassed the dogs and preheated the oven, then went out to wait – which I did for about 15 minutes, on my bad leg. Then carried in the HEAVY box for him. We got in and I finished making the supper, then came in, ate couscous with ramen, and watched The Flintstones. Now it’s 6 PM.

Rosary at 7:15 PM. In passing, I note that Whoopi Goldberg seems to be wearing an old grey mop on her head these days; I’m sure she thinks it is matriarchal, but really – old grey mop. It’s now 8 PM and time to clean the kitchen. Started Taras Bulba (TB from now on) on John’s recommendation. Bed about 9:30 PM.

 

12/17/2019: Up about 5:30 AM, to write down a dream. Then prayers, shower, dress, catechism, and Bible. Anna Karenina and Race for your Life, Charlie Brown on this morning, and I catch bits of the ends of both. Go in at 9 AM, peel Kam’s apple, and get morning ramen, which I make with egg, bread, and paprika. Go in at 10 AM and make Kam write his thank you notes first thing before he gets dressed. Bring in the recycling bin, then see him off to school. Spend the rest of the time between 11 AM and 1:30 PM listening to DW shows and KPCS Christopher guest. Oh, about 12:40 PM put the Rotts in for Andy, got some broccoli salad, a sandwich, and a ramen for lunch. Just about 1:30 PM a huge jargon of birds suddenly starts up outside, then tapers off (not really ending) after a minute or so. Wrote just a paragraph or two, with hoping to do more after Kam gets home and I feed the dogs.

I went and brought the trash bin in, then fed the cats and grassed the Chis, then fed them. Made myself some oatmeal for supper (S&A are eating at Red Lobster tonight – their anniversary!), then swept the kitchen porch and waited for Kameron to get back. He did, I let the Rotts out again, then came in and ate. It’s now 4:30 PM. I went in about 7 PM, I guess, and made Kam Tx toast and corndogs. While outside I wrote “Happy Anniversary” on the chalkboard, and while I got the chalk out the plastic bag it was in just disintegrated. About 8:30 PM Kam came in to make more Thank You cards and showed an interest in what Mila Jovavich movies I might have (I’ve got 2, The Messenger and The Fifth Element). He brought me some tortilla soup. It was pretty good, if 3 days old. Saw it was going to be cold, so dripped the sink and plugged in the heater. Listening to KPCS Tom Hanks, then paused and said Rosary at 9:30 PM.

 

12/18/2019: Up about 4:30 AM. Wrote down a dream, then started writing on Philo. With a few breaks and pauses worked till 6 AM, then prayer, catechism, and Bible. Now almost 6:30 AM. Got about 1 and ½ pages; with previous writing, that’s about 1/10 of what I need for these 2 weeks. It’s a start.

Went in at 9 AM, peeled apple, and got my ramen. Kept writing through Perry Mason, after I ate, and after I got Kameron off to school. Ice in the birdbath! Kept writing; ate ramen for lunch, watched the DW shows, and wrote some more instead of taking a nap. It is now 3 PM and now I have 11 pages done. That’s the quota for today, and I can stop there if I want. Stopped after Philo is left with the Bureau.

Grassed and fed the Chis, fed the outside cats, and started supper: sausages and cabbage and taters. Kam came home and ate his biscuits from S&A Red Lobster last night. I took my stuff out and ate, then watched The Flintstones. Sent John an e-mail and found out my Microsoft 365 Personal expires in 30 days, and it takes about $70 to renew it, so good-bye Christmas money. Ah well; I had a good day of writing and have 13 pages of the 20 I need, and it’s only Wednesday. Prayed a rosary at 7 PM; have decided to reserve a decade each day in to pray in thanksgiving for good things that happen.

I should mention in passing that someone has won the $372 million Mega-Million jackpot. Even if I didn’t win it, it is a relief that I no longer feel compelled to chase after it, with my eked out, could-have-been-spent-on-food, painfully-walked-to-spend $2 every three or four days. Oh, such airy dreams I had! What generous gifts I apportioned for my family, with 20 million here and 20 million there! What cared I, for I still would retain a hundred million! Such pie-in-the-sky liberality crumbles once more, as it’s crumbled for the past 30 years. And yet I know I will go tottering foolish toward it once more when a new jackpot builds again.

Went in at 9 PM to clean up. Not only are there TWO sausages left (I ate one right away, on bread), but Andy said I could have the leftover Red Lobster. It was in two take-away plates, one mostly shrimp, and the other rice, mashed potatoes, and linguini. So I had a good second supper. Kam calls about 9:30 PM, and I get him a root beer. I read more TB and settle down to sleep about 11 PM, still jazzed by all I had accomplished today.

 

 

Wanted: Naughty or Nice

 

Besides more variations of Santa and Krampus, there are also Christmas Elves and Nutcrackers in this line. Very unlikely I'll ever get any of these, but they sure are cool.

Christmas Characters: Action Figures in the Archives

The pictures contain some figures not exactly Christmas related.

 

Christmas Music in the Archive

The two LP record albums that were around when we were kids, by the Caroleer Singers. We had the Frosty one and Yvie had the Rudolph one, which they kept over at Omi's. We got the Rudolph album years later. The playlists from each can be found on YouTube. We also had one little record that had We Three Kings on one side, also by the Caroleers. I liked playing it at a lower speed, which made it slow and solemn. I forget what was on the other side.

When I joined a CD club in (I guess) the late Eighties or early Nineties, this was a set I had to have, perhaps even as part of my 10-for-a-penny introductory order. They have what you may call a smorgasbord platter of classic favorites.

Classic Children's Christmas, as you might say. Includes a lot of songs I always wanted on their own, separate from their specials.

Lots of goodities, Christmas songs and albums by individual artists and groups. Songs of cheer and traditional tunes.

And these albums cover two of my special interests, Christmas and Medieval Music. I think the interest might have been sparked when Dr. Laird loaned me a LP album back in college. I made a tape out of it, but like a fool did not make a note of its name. I listened to it for years. The songs were only played on traditional instruments.

A few generic albums, bought at Walmart on a venture. Celtic? Could be good. I don't listen to these very often. The one by Chanticleer should probably be in the batch from arists and groups. I can't think of any individual stand-out track from any of them.