The End of the Year: 2019 Diary

 

12/26/2019: Fast away the old year passes. Up at 6:30 AM and showered. Now prayers, catechism, and Bible. Went in at 9 AM and got the stuff to make Kam bacon and eggs; also grabbed a couple of deviled eggs and made myself two ham sandwiches [Christmas leftovers]. John sent me an e-mail talking about their Christmas; good except 2 of their dogs got out of their pen and killed 2 of his cats. I sent him an e-mail about my Christmas. Straightened up the guest house and just about ready for a nap at 11:40 AM. Day gray but warm; door and window open.

Went in at 1 PM and Kam hadn’t eaten his eggs and bacon yet. I let out the Chis to grass, and ate a couple of ham sandwiches, pea salad, and deviled eggs. At 4 PM I let them out again, fed the pets, and made corn on the cob. Froze the ground turkey (it still looked and smelled good) and put the ham in the freezer as well. Made myself some mashed potatoes and gravy and three rolls for supper. Rosary at 6 PM. A not too good “Happy New Year, Charlie Brown” (1986) on tonight. I’m kind of distracted by figuring out how to get to Office Max and then Walmart tomorrow, or if I should wait until next week.

I went in at 8 PM to clean up, and S&A told me I need to be at home tomorrow to let the exterminator in, so no shopping for me. Also, I need to have the Rotts and the Chis in my house; the Chis in the bathroom, and the Rotts just loose, with Kam to keep an eye on them. So tomorrow I have to do what I can to dog-proof the guest house.

 

12/27/2019: Up about 6 AM; prayers, catechism, and Bible. Worked on what I could about safeguarding wires and such and setting up blockades. Last night I put away my Christmas things [including a display of Christmas action figures]; nobody ever saw them, but the good thing about setting them up is that they are now in good sorting. The cranky head elf from Rudolph lost his head this year. About 11 AM I got the Chis in, then about 11:30 AM got Kam in, then let the Rotts in, then at noon went to sit on the porch. S&A came, and a little later the exterminator. I let the Rotts back out at 1:30 PM, took the Chis in, then grassed and fed the pets at 4 PM. Kam hung out in the guest house until 8 PM. I prayed a rosary then went to bed.

 

12/28/2019: Up about 6 AM, prayers, catechism and Bible; got dressed and watched a little TV (TCM). At about 7:15 AM I heard it raining (contrary to the weather report just 30 minutes ago; when I looked it had changed) which puts my plans to go to Office Depot back a bit. It opens at 9 AM today, anyway, and that’s exactly how long chances of rain are. It’s such a schlep and my legs aren’t feeling great. I could wait until Monday when the bus should be running, but I feel antsy and want to get it out of the way. And then spend a little money on good cheer, while there’s still a chance of eggnog and fruitcake. Ah, me. There is a slim possibility that John might want to do something.

I decided that yes, I would go to Office Depot, and set off at 9 AM. It was cloudy and windy, but the rain had stopped. I had got as far as the automotive store when a nice lady flagged me down and asked if I wanted a ride. She and her mother drove me first to Office Depot (where I very quickly got my Word 365 card), then dropped me off at Walmart, even saying she would wait till I was done. But since I wasn’t sure how long I would take I urged her on her way and said God Bless You. I went in and got some stuff ($17 worth on the card) including eggnog, taquitos, and stuffing, then walked home. They had a complete Adventure Time DVD set, and if I had had enough money (it was something like $89) I would have bought it and given the rest of my AT DVDs to the kids. It was quite a slog back, but I made it (11 AM), then ate the taquitos and drank the eggnog and watched a bunch of Simpsons. It’s now 1 PM and I’m ready for a nap. Up at 3:30 PM and thinking about getting lottery tickets.

Decided no, let it ride a while. It has been so dark, damp, and dull today, and now at 6 PM the train whistles of gloom are blowing in the air. The right side of my head seems full of something; perhaps it is an infection from my cronked tooth. At least I have food, and for that I should be grateful. Made myself stuffing with clam chowder. Prayed rosary a little after 8 PM.

 

12/29/2019: Got up about 6 AM and wrote down a few fragments of dreams. That led me to proofread the first month of this Diary, which only left me time for prayers, then getting dressed and leaving for church. Used 2 canes, as my walking yesterday left me in pain. Sermon on the Holy Family. Went to the restroom afterwards, then took a strange route to get to Family Dollar. Perhaps it was so I could give a dollar to a poor fellow on the street, who claimed to be passing through, hadn’t had any water for three days, had his phone stolen. I got a few groceries and went home. It looks like at least S&A are gone (the wrecker’s out). Watched The Flintstones (Dino arrives – talking, and “Happy Anniversary” on the stolen piano), then The Simpsons (Futurama crossover), and ready for a nap, having eaten an apple and a bag of sugar wafers and straightened up the house and finished my catechism and Bible reading. Weather clear, cool, and sunny. 11:50 AM.

About 12:20 PM Susan called to confirm what we needed for chicken soup. I went in to get some ramen, then took some of my recycling out. When Susan got back, she brought out the two boxes of Pumpkin Delights, and I ate the last deviled eggs and pea salad.

At 3:47 PM I sent John this e-mail; though I think they are out of town:

“Hope you're enjoying a little down time now. Did you get to see The Nutcracker with everyone else?

“I myself took the rather insane route yesterday of going over to the Office Depot and getting a renewal card for my Microsoft Word 365, then swinging by Walmart to get some good grub (including eggnog). It was pretty gray and grim, but I'm feeling calm now that I've got the card, and don't have to fight the temptation to spend up all my money before I could renew. There was a complete all-seasons package of Adventure Time that I am sure would have been very tempting (I lack the last 3 seasons) if I hadn't already made my sensible purchase. The DVD section of Walmart has really shrunk. Did you notice? Today the weather is rather grand, and my leg is telling me I maybe should have waited till Monday, but I'm not sure if the bus is running then. Anyway, it's all settled now.

“I've been spending some time editing my Dream Journal (as I mentioned) and my Diary (for form, not content). It's been quite a year. I've cooked cabbage and taters about 50 times!“

About 7 PM, since I know there are no new Sunday shows, I took a look at Netflix and decide to watch “The Two Popes”. Eh, it’s okay; anything with Anthony Hopkins and Jonathon Pryce is bound to be pretty good. I take a little break and go in to look at the work on Kameron’s room; it’s progressing very well. Finish show at about 9 PM.  Bed not long after.

 

12/30/2019: Awake at 4 AM and decide to go ahead and start the day. Prayers, catechism, and Bible; finish the Gospel of John. I think I’ll shower now and get dressed. The right side of my head still feels muzzy and my right ear feels stuffed; could use some hydrogen peroxide, perhaps.

Showered, dressed, dug a lot of gunk out of my right ear, and moved a lot of shirts from the closet to the empty tall drawers between the bookshelves behind the couch. Now have more room and more hangers in the closet.  

Later in the morning Kameron came in about 9 AM after I had peeled him an apple. His stomach was feeling poorly, so he brought the Chis in with him to the guest house and he stayed with me all day. Eventually as the day wore on, he started feeling better and was able to eat crackers. Later in the afternoon I started the chicken soup (with rice, carrots, and dumplings. As the evening wore on Kam was able to eat some soup, have a few Pumpkin Delights, and some of my Cherry 7Up. We watched “Klaus” and “Jim Carrey’s Grinch” on Netflix, and later Kam watched “Almost Heroes” on his computer. Ginger peed on the floor, but who can blame her? Went into a patchy sleep somewhere along the line.

 

12/31/2019: New Year’s Eve, and last day of the decade. Up about 5 AM and Kameron going along merrily awake as usual. I typed down some notes on my dreams, and then we talked about dreams awhile. I decided I was up and said my prayers, read catechism and Bible. Caught up the Diary.

Made ramen. Kam finally went to sleep about 7:30 AM. And he got up at 1 PM. I grassed the Chis and took them in, and then we gathered up his stuff and took him inside, peeling him an apple. At 3 PM I went in and found Susan was home. I went in at 4 PM and fed the pets, then made Kam a couple of pickle and peanut butter folded. At 5 PM watched 2 episodes of the Flintstones and then some House.

Rosary at 7:30 PM. Went in at 8 PM and got some ramen. Kam called soon thereafter and ordered taquitos, TX toast, corndogs, and another peanut butter pickle sandwich. Just remembered that perhaps I should make a “Last Drawing of 2019”; it may very well be my first of the year as well.  

Notes: Of course, the Chis and the Rotts are the Chihuahuas and the Rottweilers, who coexisted very nicely. We were on quite a peanut butter and pickle run there for a while, a combination unknown to us when I was a kid. They were giving Kameron’s room an overhaul for the New Year; he’s almost as much a packrat as I am. The Last Drawing of the Year is something of a tradition that John and I keep up. I used to draw quite often but my arthritis makes it hard to hold a pencil steady. My creative endeavors tend more to writing these days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGEBTsR4V1Y

Christmas 2019 Diary

12/19/2019: Up about 5:40 AM and wrote down dream. Caught up diary. Face the goal of at least 7 pages today. Prayers, catechism, and Bible. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof on AMC; saw bits. At 9 AM made Kam eggs and bacon, and then my own ramen. Saw him off at 11:40 AM and grassed the dogs. Susan brought Andy sick home at lunch and Kam came home early (last day before Christmas vacation) and I grassed the dogs again. Ramen and broccoli salad for lunch. Managed to write two more pages, then gave up. Day nice and clear, and not so cold. About 4 PM I straightened up the back yard some, then went in to feed the pets and grass the Chis, and Andy asked me to uncover the plants on the porch and Nanny’s plant [what you might call a legacy bush, transplanted from our grandmother’s years ago; the last big freeze finally killed it, despite everything they tried]. Nanny’s plant put up quite a fight, but I managed it. Went in and later Susan brought me a Monterey Melt from Whataburger. Watched most of “The Fourth Wise Man”. I went to bed about 9 PM.

 

12/20/2019: Up about 5:30 AM, wrote down dream and caught up diary. At 6:30 AM began prayers, catechism, and Bible. Writing in the morning is the way to go, thinks I.

 "One can't help saying with the Russian philosopher - 'How is one to know what one doesn't know?' " --Ivan Turgenev, The Diary of a Superfluous Man.

Went in at 9 AM and confirmed that Kam was going to school again, but for short hours. Peeled him an apple, got my ramen, and went out. Finished up my pages (slightly over 21, as it turned out). Got Kam off to school (weather grey, cool, and with a drop or two in the air), then came in, finished out a paragraph, and sent it off to John at 11 AM, 2 hours earlier than I promised. So that’s that for a while. Kam said he’s bringing back food project food later.  I need to decide if I should go to DG today or tomorrow or have John take me to HEB and catch the bus back. All’s I know is that I want me some eggnog.

S&A came home for lunch (unusual for a Friday) and Kameron called me when he got near home. So they were here when I struggled outside (with a towel for mud and my trash to take out and an umbrella in hand (which I knocked down a ton of swords and canes in the closet to get). By the time I was outside Kam was already halfway down the driveway. I took the heavy basket and he brought in the tin of popcorn. After we got the food put away, they left, and I went back to the guest house. Later about 2 PM I went in for a couple of apples, an orange, and a grapefruit. It just struck 3 PM and I’ve been waiting 2 hours for John to get back to me about the writing; I hope he didn’t think I meant 1 PM when I meant 1 AM as the time I’d have the writing sent in by. I went out to the porch at about 3:20 PM on the off-chance, and while there one of those spam calls happened. While looking to delete it, I noticed a voicemail. John had called me and the stupid phone had gone to voicemail, even after I had waited all afternoon for this very call. Not three minutes later John drives up. He gives me the $20 cash, and a $25 Walmart card as a bonus, then we start talking. Mostly about reading and writing. He’s reading The Archipelago Gulag and enjoying it quite a bit. I tell him I am reading ‘Taras Bulba’ and Turgenev’s short stories, and Proust on and off. Finally, he has to get to work; he’ll be off next week, except Thursday. I go in to feed the animals and grass the Chis, then I go in with the leftover cabbage.

I find I can’t face the cold cabbage while I have any alternatives, so I eat the citrus fruit and candy corn while I can. Later I pick the potatoes and mushrooms out of the cabbage and eat them. I spend the evening flipping between Christmas specials and South Park and TMC movies. The Shanafelts left in the evening to watch the newest Star Wars movie – good Lord, I had to go back and look up the title, “Rise of Skywalker”, even though it has been plastered everywhere for the past 2 months; it’s such a non-event to me. Rosary at 9 PM. I hit the hay about 10 PM.

 

12/21/2019: Woke up a little after 3 AM and found this from John: Wow! That was delightful! Fun, fascinating- I haven't a clue where the plot is going, but I'm certainly hooked into it. Philo is a cool and unique little character.  The various reactions are coloring in your characters nicely as well. I love that rather than the horror of the supernatural, or the diabolic, the newbies are encountering the mysterious and odd, (although for all I know it can go in a different direction from here) , it is an aspect of phenomenological study that is fascinating and unnerving at the same time. I can see why you had a lot of fun with this. Very well done, my boy! By the way- was it Thomas Hardy you were trying to summon earlier? His name popped into my head a little while ago.

I replied: As for where the plot is going - not for this chapter, but for the book in general - keep your eyes on that cat!😉 Mr. Wheeler (I may speak of him, since he is gone from the narrative) is loosely based - at least his head is - on Andrew Klavan. And the author who I was trying to think of, and who popped into my head just as I was reading your e-mail, was Anthony Trollope, the studious and somewhat stodgy, important, less-colorful-and-thus-less-appealing than Dickens to modern audiences ... in short, the Gooper [elder brother in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof] of the Victorian authors. No wonder I couldn't recall him right away, even though I've enjoyed what I've read of his. But I don't feel compelled to read much of his vast body of works, though I have many waiting in the Kindle wings.

So I sat down and caught up my diary, put these e-mails in, and ponder whether I should lay down again, or get the day started. I want to be at DG when it opens at 8 AM.

I went ahead and laid down, slept till about 7 AM, got up, prayed, catechism, Bible, then headed out about 7:50 AM. Went in got stuff at DG, $11 worth; returned and ate a bunch of egg nog rolls and some Tortillas with salsa verde, and a tube of Pringles. House is on. Should I go to FD to get some Big Red? 10 AM right now.

Watched House until 1 PM. In the meantime, Kelsey called, and so I found everyone was headed out to the Shanafelt Family Christmas party down the street; later I found out they were using the front yard as a parking lot. I laid down and napped until about 3:45 PM, then I walked over to FD and got a couple of jugs of Big Red, and two more tubes of Pringles. Clicking between Harry Potter and The Simpson’s; a kind of a deserted day, when you know that everybody else (probably including KT and KS&RH) are off partying and haven’t even stuck their head in to say hello yet. It’s 5 PM, and I hear them coming home.

Rosary about 6 PM. Star Wars everywhere on TV and YT. Flipping from “Revenge of the Sith” to Simpsons. Had ramen about 8 PM, jazzed up with salsa verde and tortillas. What I’m really craving is meat and cheese. Now about 9:30 PM and considering hitting the hay soon, if the jug of Big Red I’ve consumed will let me sleep. No-one at all has come out to even say hello, but then, why would they? Nice attitude, Shleprock [the depressive character from The Pebbles and Bam-Bam Show].  10:30 PM made new playlist: On the March.

 

12/22/2019: Up at 1 AM and decided that while I was awake to go ahead and say my prayers, read the catechism, and then the Bible. Took a shower, and now it’s almost 2 AM. Will try in a bit to get more sleep.

Finally got to sleep about 3 AM, after worrying about church schedule for about an hour and not finding the answer anywhere. Drat my sieve-like memory. Awake at 6:30 AM, and got dressed, determined to abide the adventure and go as usual. Got dressed and ready to leave at 7 AM.

Glad I went ahead and went, because it was church as usual. And I actually had two dollars for the collection. A nice sermon on St. Joseph. Home a little after 9 AM, and made some more salsa tortilla ramen for breakfast, and watched several Simpsons. Now 11 AM. Andy came out and got me and I helped Susan make the holiday shopping list. Hurray! Finally saw Kelsey.

Ben Shapiro’s cousin played “Matilda”!

I only realized a couple of days ago that the “Teens” of the 21^st century would soon be over. That means one-tenth of a hundred years ended. It’s gone by so fast! In other years ending with ‘9’ I would have been thinking about it on and off all year; this time, what does the calendar really mean to me? [ I remember in 1979 I filled a little purple bottle with ‘Seventies Air’; that lasted about 3 days before I opened it again] Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’, into the future. 

Kept thinking all day I might get a visit from Kelsey, or at least they’d bring me some leftovers, but no dice. I did get to sew up Susan’s Christmas shirt at 10:30 PM, though. I don’t know if it was my hands or the wonkiness of the hole (I could use a table and a strong light over it, but the kitchen table is covered with cookie jars [Susan’s hobby]) but the stitching wasn’t my best.  I vacillate: tomorrow walk to Walmart and catch the bus home or rely on a ride? Or just do nothing? Did a little bit of writing, on my school memoir and a sci-fi tale. Watched the new FXX version of “A Christmas Carol”. They managed to turn Mrs. Cratchit into a mystical mumbo-jumbo mama and eliminate any boring old ideas about redemption out of the story. Lots of swearing and a little nudity. What would poor Charlie think?

 

12/23/2019: Dear Father in Heaven, here, at Christmas, we think of Jesus, the new life that is continuously being born in our hearts in the Bethlehem of this world, through which we pass for only a short time. Here we pause with angels and animals, wise men and simple folk, and most of all with family, to marvel over the greatest gift and mightiest work we could ever receive: Himself, and in Him, You. May we not pack Him away with the ornaments for another year or throw Him unheeded onto the pile of our possessions, but always hold Him dear and enjoy Him every day of our lives, and at last join with You in the joyous family gathering and eternal glad morning that is Heaven. Amen.

--composed right after I woke up and finished at 7:11 AM. Then said prayers, read catechism, and Bible. Now 7:41 AM. Ate apples and the last of the coconut macaroons.

Went in at 9AM and started my wash and grabbed some ramen. “The Maltese Falcon” on at 10 AM; at about 10:20 AM Kelsey knocked on the door and asked me to watch the Chis whom she had let out in the backyard. She was heading home. The Chis escaped to the front yard and I followed and was able to say goodbye to Kelsey again, then put my wash in the dryer and peeled Kam an apple. Listened to GGACP.

The rest of the day – well, folded my wash, dipped in and out of the Simpsons Marathon, had cheese tortillas for lunch. At 4 PM grassed the dogs and fed the pets; made salmon rings, couscous, and riced cauliflower for supper. I had my cauliflower and couscous with ramen.  Rosary at 7 PM; made Kam supper. Watched some of “The Shop Around the Corner.” Read more Turgenev. Bed about 10 PM.

 

12/24/2019: Christmas Eve. Up about 6 AM. Prayers, catechism, and Bible. Watched “The Boy Who Became Santa Claus”.  Went in at 9 AM and started boiling eggs. Then started putting the pea salad together. Finished that at 10 AM and began making the deviled eggs. Finished that at 11 AM. Cleaned up, came in and finished eating breakfast. At 1 PM I plan to make the cheesecake, and that’s all the prep I need for today.

So, I went ahead and started the cheesecakes a little after 12 Noon and finished (with washing up and taking out the recyclables) at 1 PM. Now nothing between me and Christmas Vigil Mass at 4 PM but getting dressed and walking over there. Must remember to fast.

I got dressed and left at 3 PM and got home at 5:30 PM. It was quite a nice service, including a pageant by the children. On my walk home talked to a nice couple going into St. Andrews. On coming home K&RT’s dogs are here, so I guess they are too.

I felt good over the evening, and over the time I set up a few of the Christmas action figures to make things look seasonal. Bed fairly early, after a rosary.

 

12/25/2019: Christmas day. Up about 6 AM, got dressed, prayers, catechism, and Bible. Went in at 7 AM and started making Christmas breakfast: bacon, pancakes, and fried eggs. “Otto, the Ugliest Christmas Egg [there’s always one left to the end].” Kelsey and Ryan came about 8 AM, then we all gathered for breakfast (including Kaitlyn and her Ryan). Cracked one of my back tooth-stumps on a bit of hard bacon and it nagged all day, but not insuperably so. Then we gathered in the living room for presents.  $100 dollars for me, and a new coat with a hood (just what I’ve been needing for years). We all lolled around watching Christmas movies. RH had to leave a little early, and Kelsey later. Then at about noon I started making the ham, boiling the bone for gravy (which made some of the best gravy for years, I think), preparing the rolls, and later (I had forgotten) opening a can of cranberry sauce. We ate at about 2 PM, then sat outside with the dogs a while, watched more movies (The Grinch – Jim Carey edition), and then cheesecake. Kaitlyn and Ryan packed up and headed out by 4:30 PM. It is almost 5 PM, and I’m ready to lay down for a bit.

Taras Bulba

Kenny called about 6:30 PM and he and his family wished me a Merry Christmas. They were having a “Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra” Christmas supper after he finished worked today. I asked him if he’d read my new chapters, and he said he and Isabel were reading them together. When I went in to pass along his greetings to S&A, they had just finished trying to eat more supper, but were still too full. I myself was still feeling full, but I agreed to finish off what they couldn’t, and it was a nice little “filling up of corners” as the hobbits say. Came in and finished reading “Taras Bulba” then said the Rosary at 8 PM. Then I tried to sleep but kept waking up (a jug of Big Red will do that) and at last I woke about 11:50 PM and caught the diary up. What will tomorrow look like? Well, some yummy leftovers and Kam asked for bacon and eggs.

I found Taras Bulba to be rather horrible, with the nominally Orthodox Cassock protagonists filled with a rather pagan vigor, stealing and subsisting on the work of the Catholic Poles and the Jewish people while despising them both. While the punishments the Poles meted out to the Cossacks were brutal, you can understand why, when you read about how this pirate band raids and pillages on the flimsiest of pretenses. Of course, this is Gogol's fictional account.

Sheesh. I just took a minute to write down a dream and then spent 2 hours proof-reading the 2019 Dream Journal. Now almost 2:30 AM.

 

Diary 2019: Mid-December

12/15/2019: Up at about 5 AM. Showered, dressed, prayers, catechism, Bible. A rather foggy walk to church. I think I’m finally getting into a place where I can think less about whether I’m doing the right thing technically (because I’m doing it) and more about the Mass itself. Came home, and settled down, not really hungry until about 4 PM (which is good, because I’ve got no food and want to save my last $2, still chasing the Mega-Millions – I could go buy ramen, but where’s the point in that?). Warm, clear afternoon. Read more Turgenev, especially a very good short story, Bezhin Meadow. Went and got some of that hamburger they offered me and fried that up about 4 PM. An evening of lack-luster Fox animation, and now trying to see if I can get up in time for the new Rick and Morty. Stayed up and watched the new R&M, then bed at 11 PM.

 

12/16/2019: Up about 6 AM. Prayed, dressed, then left a little after 7 AM to go get a ticket. The weather yesterday said there might be rain, but this morning it only said cloudy, so I decided to go on. Right leg pretty sore, but I made it. Dropped a couple of ugly pennies in the fountain; lines were long as I passed the donut shop, extending into the sidewalk; the old man who hangs around the store had found a torn half of a dollar and was looking around for the other half. I got back to the park and the wind suddenly whipped up with a few drops of rain and then as I was coming up the driveway the rain started. Not heavy rain. I just made it back. Read the catechism and the Bible, and now Perry Mason is on. Soon I’ll be ready to start the wash and finally have a meal. Nothing like a semi-fast to make you appreciate some good ol’ ramen.

I started my wash at 9 AM, went in, peeled Kam’s apple, made a sandwich, and got my ramen with bread. Went back in about 10:10 AM and helped Kam get ready, and I’m glad I made him wear a jacket because it was a lot colder than when I went in the morning, but it wasn’t raining anymore. I really wished I had brought a coat as I waited on the porch, and the bus didn’t get here until 11:50 AM. Put the wash in the dryer and went in. In the future: gyut-dang broccoli salad.

Put GGACP [Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast] on and fell asleep for about 40 minutes; got up about 12:15 PM and got the wash, just in time to cross paths with the pool guy. Weather now clear and just a little warmer, but still cool. Brought the broccoli out to cut it up, then made salad inside. It’s now almost 3 PM, and I’ve already fed the cats.

Kam called me at 3:30 PM and asked me to meet him at the end of the driveway at 4 PM, to help him carry his Christmas orders in. I grassed the dogs and preheated the oven, then went out to wait – which I did for about 15 minutes, on my bad leg. Then carried in the HEAVY box for him. We got in and I finished making the supper, then came in, ate couscous with ramen, and watched The Flintstones. Now it’s 6 PM.

Rosary at 7:15 PM. In passing, I note that Whoopi Goldberg seems to be wearing an old grey mop on her head these days; I’m sure she thinks it is matriarchal, but really – old grey mop. It’s now 8 PM and time to clean the kitchen. Started Taras Bulba (TB from now on) on John’s recommendation. Bed about 9:30 PM.

 

12/17/2019: Up about 5:30 AM, to write down a dream. Then prayers, shower, dress, catechism, and Bible. Anna Karenina and Race for your Life, Charlie Brown on this morning, and I catch bits of the ends of both. Go in at 9 AM, peel Kam’s apple, and get morning ramen, which I make with egg, bread, and paprika. Go in at 10 AM and make Kam write his thank you notes first thing before he gets dressed. Bring in the recycling bin, then see him off to school. Spend the rest of the time between 11 AM and 1:30 PM listening to DW shows and KPCS Christopher guest. Oh, about 12:40 PM put the Rotts in for Andy, got some broccoli salad, a sandwich, and a ramen for lunch. Just about 1:30 PM a huge jargon of birds suddenly starts up outside, then tapers off (not really ending) after a minute or so. Wrote just a paragraph or two, with hoping to do more after Kam gets home and I feed the dogs.

I went and brought the trash bin in, then fed the cats and grassed the Chis, then fed them. Made myself some oatmeal for supper (S&A are eating at Red Lobster tonight – their anniversary!), then swept the kitchen porch and waited for Kameron to get back. He did, I let the Rotts out again, then came in and ate. It’s now 4:30 PM. I went in about 7 PM, I guess, and made Kam Tx toast and corndogs. While outside I wrote “Happy Anniversary” on the chalkboard, and while I got the chalk out the plastic bag it was in just disintegrated. About 8:30 PM Kam came in to make more Thank You cards and showed an interest in what Mila Jovavich movies I might have (I’ve got 2, The Messenger and The Fifth Element). He brought me some tortilla soup. It was pretty good, if 3 days old. Saw it was going to be cold, so dripped the sink and plugged in the heater. Listening to KPCS Tom Hanks, then paused and said Rosary at 9:30 PM.

 

12/18/2019: Up about 4:30 AM. Wrote down a dream, then started writing on Philo. With a few breaks and pauses worked till 6 AM, then prayer, catechism, and Bible. Now almost 6:30 AM. Got about 1 and ½ pages; with previous writing, that’s about 1/10 of what I need for these 2 weeks. It’s a start.

Went in at 9 AM, peeled apple, and got my ramen. Kept writing through Perry Mason, after I ate, and after I got Kameron off to school. Ice in the birdbath! Kept writing; ate ramen for lunch, watched the DW shows, and wrote some more instead of taking a nap. It is now 3 PM and now I have 11 pages done. That’s the quota for today, and I can stop there if I want. Stopped after Philo is left with the Bureau.

Grassed and fed the Chis, fed the outside cats, and started supper: sausages and cabbage and taters. Kam came home and ate his biscuits from S&A Red Lobster last night. I took my stuff out and ate, then watched The Flintstones. Sent John an e-mail and found out my Microsoft 365 Personal expires in 30 days, and it takes about $70 to renew it, so good-bye Christmas money. Ah well; I had a good day of writing and have 13 pages of the 20 I need, and it’s only Wednesday. Prayed a rosary at 7 PM; have decided to reserve a decade each day in to pray in thanksgiving for good things that happen.

I should mention in passing that someone has won the $372 million Mega-Million jackpot. Even if I didn’t win it, it is a relief that I no longer feel compelled to chase after it, with my eked out, could-have-been-spent-on-food, painfully-walked-to-spend $2 every three or four days. Oh, such airy dreams I had! What generous gifts I apportioned for my family, with 20 million here and 20 million there! What cared I, for I still would retain a hundred million! Such pie-in-the-sky liberality crumbles once more, as it’s crumbled for the past 30 years. And yet I know I will go tottering foolish toward it once more when a new jackpot builds again.

Went in at 9 PM to clean up. Not only are there TWO sausages left (I ate one right away, on bread), but Andy said I could have the leftover Red Lobster. It was in two take-away plates, one mostly shrimp, and the other rice, mashed potatoes, and linguini. So I had a good second supper. Kam calls about 9:30 PM, and I get him a root beer. I read more TB and settle down to sleep about 11 PM, still jazzed by all I had accomplished today.

 

 

2019 Diary: "Low and Small and Poisonously Sweet"

 

12/7/2019: Up at about 6 AM, prayers, catechism and Bible, and spent the morning watching mostly Seinfeld stuff and awaiting John. Ran over to FD and used my change dollar to get some chocolate cookies. He got here a little after 11 AM and he took me to Dollar General, where I got two packs of shrimp ramen, some corn chips, a loaf of bread, cough drops, and Little Debbie Egg Nog Rolls, of which I immediately gave him one. Discussed stuff quickly; I specifically told him not to be nervous about giving me any criticism, as it shows that he at least cares about my work. He said I should read “Fathers and Sons” as it has a character rather like Rank, and to take care not to turn Rose into a Mary Sue; i.e., she must have some faults and failures. The rest of the day I more or less just ate ramen and watched Larry David interviews.

I showed Kam how to swish with salt water (his gums are hurting him), grassed dogs, fed cats, and spent the evening trying to find a free copy of “Fathers and Sons” to download; finally determined that “Fathers and Children” was indeed the same work. Went to bed pretty early. Weather clear and blue.

 

12/8/2019: Awake about 1 AM, read some Turgenev. I really must train myself to write down fugitive ideas as they occur, otherwise I’ll be (as I am this morning) plagued with vague memories of the forgotten. Hah, one thing emerges: the family phrase “Just for that, let’s see you splat” is derived from “The Magic Fish” and “Just for fun, let’s see you run.” Back to sleep.

Up at 5 AM. Prayers, slowly dress, cut my toenails, catechism and Bible. Ready to head out at 7 AM. Father Gregg’s brother passed away yesterday, and we had Fr. Tony to fill in. Walked home and found a tied-up DG bag way up in the yard at the treeline, with some tortilla chips and strawberry wafer cookies, just sitting there. What the heck? Picked it up and put it on the bin for Andy to decide what to do with it. Came in, ramen for breakfast, listened to Ben Shapiro and guest on “The Conversation” (abortion) and took a nap. Up about 12:30 PM and started watching “The Irishman”, stopped about 1:30 PM and went in  In the kitchen, by the door, in ‘the outgoing’ position, was the tortilla chips. What about the wafers? Had they been open? The mystery continues.

I’m about 1/3 of the way through with “F&S” and I see why John advised it. Also pondering “The Irishman” and its appeal, and I can only think that the stark romanticism of the lonely man against all odds – especially with his ostensible patrons – appeals to the male freemasonry of the competent men who can handle the dangerous world within which one has to make a living and support one’s family – a family that does not always appreciate the dangers and hardships he takes upon himself for their sake, that they may even despise. The mirror side is the policeman or soldier trying to do his duty, but in our culture, they are too often seen as the tools of an oppressive government, so paradoxically they can’t be our heroes. Not that the bosses don’t as often oppress and even kill their employees over money and personal glory – or ‘respect’ as they term it. It’s just that they’re more open – and therefore perceived as being more ‘honest’ about it? – than the Gummint. Anyway, it is the only expression of tough manhood that is allowed anymore, under the aegis of “It’s terrible, isn’t it, it’s terrible, terrible, it ends in tragedy – isn’t it great? Like a Wagnerian opera. The doomed nature makes it heroic.”

So at 7 PM almost on the dot I finish “The Irishman”. Pretty good, but I don’t think I’ll be watching it again anytime soon. Very reminiscent of the 70’s, especially the wife’s smoking.

Couldn’t stay up to watch the new Rick and Morty, but I woke up and the second half was on. Set my alarm for the 2 o’clock showing, woke up at 1:58 AM before it went off, then watched the show, which seemed to argue that fantasy, particularly D&D, were just deflected sexuality.

 

12/9/2019: Well, here I am wide awake at 2:43 AM, so might as well start the day. Today would have been Mom’s (pause to calculate) 77^th birthday. I’m going to pray, read the catechism and the Bible now, and may even say my daily rosary, which will be for Mom. But first, get my blog out of the way.

Okay, it’s 4:40 AM and I’ve prayed, read catechism and Bible, blogged, swept, washed dishes, played WWF on Facebook and posted there for Mom’s birthday. Think I’ll lie down and see if I can sleep a few hours.

Up at 7 AM and decided to get dressed and go to get lottery tickets and go to DG and be done with it, rather than wait until tomorrow. ETA departure time: 7:45 AM.

I left on time, slightly held back by the Chis, who were grassing. Andy told me to take the extra tortilla chips (not the yard chips) and I could eat the turkey lunch meat. I went and got a Mega-Millions and a TX Lotto, then to DG for tea, sweetener, Big Red, and chocolate covered cherries. Still have enough money for another Mega-Millions, if necessary. Came home, started the wash, peeled Kameron an apple, made a couple of sandwiches, came in and started to listen to GGACP.

Went in about 10 AM and Kameron was already up and going. Took chips and ramen to the guest house and then straightened up the back yard. Kam went out at 10:20 AM, and I spent time picking up trash at the end of the yard, then waited around until the bus came, put the load in the dryer, then went in to finish listening to GGACP. About 11:40 AM I went out and got the wash (the squirrels are romping like crazy this morning), brought it in, folded it, and it’s now noon.

I started to pray a rosary for Mom, and I heard S&A touch down. After they left and I had finished praying, I got my trash together, let the Rotts out (the pool guy having come a little after 11 AM), and started the cucumber salad. Having finished all that at 1:50 PM, I’m ready for a little break. Will see if I can get some z’s, but the chocolate cherries and Big Red (both of which I have now finished) have got me buzzing.

Only laid down for about 30 minutes. Went in about 3:30 PM, grassed Chis, fed cats, then started supper (fish rolls, Mediterranean Curry Couscous). Kam came home a little after 4 PM, and I came out and made my couscous with ramen and started watching The Flintstones.

Just want to note that the bread I got at Dollar General is a fine loaf, Clover Valley Enriched White, soft, spongy, firm; so much better than the Wal-Mart stuff.

All evening watched YT of Larry David and Seinfeld cast, which I’ve done over the past few days. Went in at 8 PM to wash up. Kam was playing games with Andy and didn’t want me to make him anything; instead he gave me his old breakfast taco from … Saturday? Hit the hay about 11 PM, still kind of jazzed, after reading more F&S.

 

12/10/2019: Overnight the weather came in rainy and cold; put the heater on. Prayers, catechism, Bible (started The Gospel of John). Wrote a bit more on Chapter Three. When I went in at 9 AM Kam told me he had been rescheduled for 10:40 AM. I peeled him an apple. Went back in at 10:20 AM and he was well on his way to being ready; when we went out at 10:35 AM the rain had pretty much stopped. Bus came by at 10:45 AM. Laid down at 11:30 AM and up at 1 PM; made some toast for lunch. Now 2 PM, and already anticipating making supper. Really, really want more soda. So, made sausages, fried cabbage and taters, and later at 8 PM when I made Kam his supper, washed dishes. Should have asked him if this 11:40 schedule is set now.

E-mailed John:  I have a terrible inner trait. If I ever hear about the death of someone whose overblown celebrity I think was undeserved, my first reaction tends to be, "Ha Ha! I win! I survived! All his fame and money and success are meaningless! And I still have sweet, sweet existence!" A meaningless 'triumph' I know, as some day I'm going to poop off myself. I had the same selfish impulse when I heard K--- F----- and A---- A--------- were dead. It's a low and small and poisonously sweet thought.

The Dream Wars continue. The dreams I remember tend to be divided up into Work Dreams, Test Dreams, Disaster Dreams, and Movie Dreams (which, while I often have a point of view, seem to have absolutely nothing to do with me and my life and are like watching a movie). I'm sure there are dozens of other ways to categorize them, but why bore you? I'm a little halfway over "Fathers and Sons".

 

12/11/2019: Up about 5 AM again - I seldom seem able to sleep later these days, but I do go to bed pretty early – said my prayers, read my catechism and Bible, and took a shower. Checked my Mega-Millions ticket and I won $2 – so enough to buy another ticket, so that’s okay, and the jackpot goes up! Sometimes I think they let the Lottery ride on purpose during the Christmas season to build up a desperate ticket-buying frenzy. Susan had left a little early and then come back as I was peeling Kam an apple and getting my breakfast, and we talked about the girls coming for Christmas and I said I’d put her towels in the dryer. I have now finished F&S, a very interesting book; Basarov and his fate remind me a bit of Mike. Poor Basarov! It seems his problem was that he mistook being inhuman for being superhuman; when he discovered he was human after all, his sudden - distraction? carelessness? despair? - amounted to what was suicide by preoccupied moping. 

A fantasy of mine that fills a lot of my blank time – especially when I lie in bed waiting to sleep – is the going back in time idea, knowing what you know now. I find I must hedge it with a thousand caveats. That the good things that happened won’t change. That the bad things can be changed, and worse things can’t happen. That I’ll reproduce all my lost drawings and writing, while improving new things that I write and draw. Sometimes that I have a secret magical place to store things, sometimes from the future – books I don’t get for years, a way to record shows off TV, and so on. I think of all the notes I would make of things not to forget, like the titles and authors of books in the past that I still don’t remember. The better care I would take of things. How I could act better in most situations, start learning things earlier, like driving or math. Take opportunities that I missed. Could I still do some of these things? Maybe. A pointless but endlessly fascinating (to me) exercise. And furthermore, what would childhood be like without the abandon, the childlike wonder, the credulous stupidity that makes for so much happiness? Well, you'd still have that ... in your memories. But would you be like the CGI youthened figures, still moving like an old man in your mind? Would the people around you find you ... "off"?

The day trundled on. Clear and blue skies the latter half of the day. Sausage patties for lunch. Grassed, fed, etc. Made pork chops and brussels sprouts and quinoa. What I wouldn’t give for a good old thick pan-fried breaded porkchop with some nice crispy fat and a pool of ketchup to dip it in! A glump of saucy dip-dip noodles would be nice too! Enough teeth to chew it all with would be pleasant. Santa?

Said rosary at 7 AM and found the timing great. I shouldn’t do it late at night or when I’m sleepy. Went in at 8 PM and washed up; Kam and K&A weren’t home, so maybe they’re at some church thing. I’ll wait a while before undressing for bed. Man, that quinoa and chickpea dish is metallic tasting; it doesn’t seem to have any savor to recommend it. But it is food, so, down it goes, and be grateful.

Another wandering thought is that I should buy a printer this Christmas, and print my stories, dreams, diaries, etc. To have a hard copy, of course, and to see how much it amounts to. A full winter moon tonight. And dig this: an erupting volcano in New Zealand (the ‘real’ Middle Earth) killing 8 people (the exact number of the remaining Nazgul who die in the eruption of Mt. Doom).

 

12/12/2019: Take much of it as read. The only real difference was that around 4 PM the neighbors across the ditch were crashing around in the woods, upsetting the Rotts. I went outside to calm the dogs and to let my presence be known. Oh, and in the morning a package had come for Susan from Gamestop, part of Kam’s Christmas bounty, with more expected tomorrow. Told Susan about the disturbance and we actually talked for about 15 minutes. It’s always quite pleasant; what surprises me is how little we do talk, each going along our own way. She’s so good for taking care of me; I don’t say that enough.

 

12/13/2019: Up early to record a dream at 3 AM, then pootled around looking at stuff. This morning I must go to get a Mega-Millions with my $2 winnings; also have $2 in change in reserve. Funny about that. Yesterday I was a penny short of a dollar, then searched my pencil drawer. Found not only a lot of pennies, but also a dime and a nickel! So instead of carrying 25 pennies, I need only 10. So I can either win the lottery, or someone else will so I don’t feel compelled to play anymore and can spend the other $2 on food, or I’ll still have $2 to keep chasing the jackpot. Ugh. It’s 4 AM now. Should I set the clock and try to sleep a little more, or just keep going?

Democratic politicians seem to be abandoning the impeachment process as that overblown narrative has been pricked and they have to come to brass tacks and actually show if there’s any beef in the burger; the Conservative leader in Britain is having a surge and Brexit may well pass, despite the constant barrage of media mockery that’s tried to stem the tide. The timely Clint Eastwood film “Jewel” looks to be doing well, though damned with nit-pickery praise by reviewers who can’t actually say it’s a bad movie but want to sink its influence of saying the FBI and the media are in bed together – metaphorically if not quite literally.

Up at 6:30 AM, prayed, dressed, and headed out to buy my ticket. Going out, I saw a raccoon trapped in the trap by the pen. Took a couple of pictures of the beautiful full moon still high and clear in the west; the sun hadn’t cleared the rim of the trees, so it was dim enough that the moon was very prominent. Got home about 7:45 AM, in time to see Andy loading up the raccoon to release in the wild. Went in at 9 AM, Kam decided to just eat some beef jerky this morning. Catechism, Bible. Ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and the leftover cucumber salad.

Went I took Kameron off to catch the bus I brought the mail in, and later got a package off the porch. Susan called me in the afternoon to check a shirt size from the girl’s closet. I dropped my phone and it popped apart, but I eventually put it back together (no problem) and got it started up again (a little harder). Rosary at 4:30 PM. Evening spent watching YouTube, especially Dave Thomas on KPCS [Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show].

 

12/14/2019: Up about 4 AM, couldn’t get back to sleep. When I decided I was up, prayers, catechism, and Bible. Now watching Ivan Reitman on KPCS. I’ve been having a lot of memory-engagement here at the end of the year. The idea of printing my files has a growing mania vibe; having the physical presence that is so baseline and does not need the sort of conservatorship that the computer-based file does; if you don’t keep up the format you soon find the tech has passed away.

What is it about winter that releases memories, that contributes to that ubi sunt mood? Is it something physical; does the cold somehow let the mind run smoother? Is it the Christmas ‘eternal moment’ that recalls the past? Is it the brain realizing, in the death of the year, your own mortality, that struggles to retain your continuity, or makes you think that conserving and remembering how you survived before fights against mortality? Is it thinking about the future that makes you ransack the past, both in comparison to see how you’re doing and what you might apply to help the next year?

I sat down to write a chapter for “What Happened?” covering my school years, wrote a few paragraphs then went back looking for a quote on Miss Daman that sent me on a quest leading me to read and correct my ‘biography’ document until 10 AM. Time to take a break. Went in and got frozen sausage patties and another ramen, made a couple of sausage sandwiches, then again a couple of hours later, then the soup with a couple of patties.

Spent a lot of the day thereafter watching KPCS videos on YT, then took a nap until 4 PM. Ate a sausage patty, then decided to trim my beard. This involved me hauling out the heavy big mirror and led to me trimming my hair by myself the first time. Can’t quite see the back, but what I can see looks okay, and I was pretty careful. Prayed the rosary before 7 PM. Blacked the toes of my old shoes with marker. Feeling a little sneezy and drippy; have to see how I feel tomorrow. I don’t want to miss the first Sunday since my confirmation, but I also don’t want to make anybody sick. Oy. Almost 9 PM and thinking about hitting the hay. 

Diary 2019: Advent

12/1/2019: First day of December and the Advent Season. Well, last night I drooped and drowsed through Dimitrios, and it was threaded in my dreams. Woke up to go to the bathroom just as it ended a little after 1 AM. Went back to sleep and finally up at 5:30 AM from a dream about taking a test on Tolkien. Wrote it down and ready to start the day, I guess.

Showered and dressed. Prayers, catechism, and Bible. Walked to church. First Day of Advent; the church was all done up in purple and a tree (with cards to take to give presents to those in need) up by the altar. Very windy when left. Came home just in time to bring Andy the paper. Went in and was able to watch “The Mask of Dimitrios” properly, except for the first 15 minutes. Ate an apple for breakfast. Found an e-mail from J late last night, praising the end of CH2 and saying they spent yesterday decorating with a new tree. Napped and up at 12:30 PM; went in and got ramen. At 12:50 PM S&A got home from town. Went in at 5 PM and grabbed a ramen and two apples. Evening of animations; no new Rick & Morty tonight, so bed at 9 PM. Distractedly hungry all evening.

 

12/2/2019: Up at 5:30 AM, dressed, prayers, catechism, and Bible. Posted at Power of Babel, played WWF. Scouted for art on the sites and started listening to GGACP. Cold this morning. Just tried to get the Christmas stuff down [from the ‘attic’] but found out the bin in front was toys and the Christmas stuff is farther back; I will need assistance with that.

It’s now 2:30 PM, and somehow (it seems a miracle that I’ve got this far) the wash is basically done – I was going to skip the towels but did them anyway – and the broccoli salad is finished. Kam got off to school, despite the bus being very late. I am weak as a kitten.

As the day went on, I felt a little better as more chores got done. Kam came home early at 3:30 PM -just as I was letting the Chihuahuas out. Made sausage, cabbage, and taters. Took my meal into the guest house, ate, and after a bit I prayed my rosary. Finished the last few episodes of “Green Eggs and Ham”. When I went in to clean up saw Susan had made a pack of rolls (they were delicious). I thought I was done but at about 8:45 PM Kam called and wanted his corn dogs, Texas toast, and taquitos. Now almost 9:30 PM and ready to sleep again, I think.

 

12/3/2019: Up about 5 AM. Slowly, slowly, I got ready, dressing, prayers, catechism Bible, washing dishes, posting on my blog, pondering what I can accomplish today. It’s now almost 7:30 AM.

I had tried to put that bin back up yesterday but couldn’t. Today I managed it, so that makes me feel a little better. Thinking about looking through my “wall of bins” today, to see what’s what.

Went in at 9 AM, got the stuff to make Kam’s bacon and eggs. Got Kam going at 10 AM and had to find him a shirt and pants. Got him off at last about 10:40 AM, went in and finished my breakfast. Went through bins until I found the fold-out Christmas house, then put stuff back. Laid down and napped until 1 PM. Watched DW shows and “House” on and off all day. When I took the chihuahuas out to grass at 3:40 PM Ginger, like a ding-dong, went into the raccoon trap. Made fish rings and Herbed Chicken couscous and dinner rolls for supper. No writing; I don’t feel up to it just now, so I’ll probably wait until morning. Feeling urges for all kinds of sweet Christmas snacks, especially chocolate, and that’s very distracting, as is the fact that I haven’t seen John for three weeks. If I won the lottery and didn’t really need the money, would I keep writing? Is this year my last Christmas [obviously not, now], and if so, will I last that long? All day it was cool but sunny.

 

12/4/2019: Up at 5:30 AM, then laid around a while, thinking about Chapter Three and the man who sells the Frog-Boy to the Bureau. Then really up at 6:20 AM, prayers, catechism, Bible, and getting dressed, totally forgetting about going to get a TX Lotto. Ate breakfast of leftover couscous (kept in the microwave overnight), using a bit of olive oil to hydrate it from its dried-up state; I think it was this break from routine that made me dismiss the lottery journey from my mind. But that’s okay. S&A a little late leaving this morning because they went to get Cricket’s stitches out. When I went in, I peeled Kameron an apple and got that hamburger that S said I could have. I skrizzled it and had a couple of sandwiches for breakfast. Got Kam off to school. I started really applying myself to Chapter 3, and after a short nap did so all day until at about 7 PM I had 11 pages, which I sent to John, in the hope that he’ll pay me early so I can ride to bus to HEB Friday morning. Made pork chops and brussels sprouts for supper, and quinoa. At 8 PM I went in, cleaned up, and had the leftover sprouts and quinoa. It’s now 9:18 PM, and I’m getting ready for the rosary. But first I reviewed my Diary, to be sure about my writing schedule. Checked what the mysteries of the rosary were today, and I’m pretty sure I prayed it already early this morning. The Glorious Mysteries.

 

12/5/2019: Up at 4:30 AM. I dressed, prayed, catechism, Bible, said the rosary, posted, and laid down again. Up at 9:10 AM and started my breakfast; “Gargoyles” is on TV right now at 9:40 AM. No reply from John just yet. Got Kameron off in pretty good time (about a minute late) then boiled the bratwurst – which took quite a while. Watched many eps on YT of people talking about Seinfeld. Ate about 1 PM and napped again. Woke at 3 PM and shucked corn, then grassed dogs and started supper. Made chili, rotini, and corn. Kam home at almost 4:30 PM. Ate supper.

In the noon hours the weather cleared and dried up pretty well. John finally managed to e-mail me and promised to bring the pay over in time; things have been busy at Babeloth, which I can understand with Grampa’s hospice.

I was looking around at my shelves and bins and thinking that I haven’t really disturbed them for months, maybe even over a year. Why? I think probably because I am already familiar with it all, my book hoard is not growing, so I haven’t turned them over in a while, like a farmer who fails to turn his oats and so they get musty. Also, as I grow weaker, they get harder to reach or unpack, and I weigh the cost of disturbing the order. Might there be more to it? Has it grown less important after my baptism and my book published?

 

12/6/2019: Up a little after 6 AM. Prayers, catechism, Bible. Finished up the Seinfeld documentaries on YT, at least the ones I wanted to watch. Ach, take the day as read, ramen and all, and a rosary on the front porch. Weather very nice and fallish, streaked with warmth, passing clouds, and cold in the shade.

 

[Notes: I have since written a guide to what is where in the bins. It has been very useful, but after I look for something, the order can get disarranged. Maybe I should just label them. Right now, I’m facing the same dilemma of getting the ‘Christmas bins’ out, but at least they’re not up in the ‘attic,’ a sort of high cubby that also houses the water heater.

My YouTube viewing tends to go in little spurts of fads and fashions. Right now, I’m watching a father-and-daughter team as they react to Laurel and Hardy films. It’s a great way to review shows that might not be available completely.

‘Babeloth’ is the property where both the Babels and the Loths live, in separate houses.  Can be sung to the tune of ‘Camelot’, which I often do in my head. It was my job to feed Kameron and get him off to school on time. Texas weather around here is like that, with periods of cold and fallish into January, when it’s just plain cold.

Man, I thought I was weak then.]

2019 Diary: Thanksgiving Week

 

11/22/2019: Anniversary of Pop's passing. Up about 5 AM. Prayers, catechism, Bible. Got dressed. Now it's about 6:50 AM and I'm ready to go get lottery tickets: decided to go whole hog and get Powerball, Mega-millions, and TX Lotto. Still have $2 for the collection. Taking both canes to help spare my right leg.

Well. For all my fancy getting dressed and trussing up my legs, when I looked out it was raining. So, I didn’t go. So, I made some ramen and crackers, and settled in. Over the day I got up to 20 script pages, but when I tried to send it to John it seemed Microsoft 365 wasn’t letting it go through, or John’s service wouldn’t work. After several tries, I think I finally got a version through, but it exhausted my ‘juice’, with which I was hoping to finish up the draft tonight.

Kam came home about 4 PM, while I was letting the Chis out. He had groceries again, of which I wanted to take some cereal and oranges but only took some expiring Italian sausages. Boiled and ate them. Prayed my rosary. Watched most of “Soylent Green”, and now “Jason and the Argonauts” is coming on.

 

11/23/2019: Prayers, catechism, and Bible. Made olive oil Pastaroni for breakfast. S&A went off in the morning, and I got an orange and one of the PB Cup cereal boxes. They took Cricket for her neck thing, and she seems to be doing ok. They spent most of the day cleaning out the storage shed. I did a whole lot of relaxing (with my right leg in constant pain from – walking? Eating a lot of sugary stuff? Deep vein thrombosis?); anyway, no writing. Maybe I’ll finish off Chapter Two after church. At lunch I had stuffing – to which I put twice as much water than needed, having unthinkingly doubled the recipe (stupidity? Brain farts?). S&A gave me some towels and a pillow from their cleaning in the evening. Prayed a rosary (with a decade dedicated to opposing the Satanic Mass in Houston this evening). Made some ramen. It’s now 9:30 PM and after I eat, I may try to hit the hay again. Oh yes, finished Stephen Leacock’s Sunshine Pictures.

 

11/24/2019: “What color is this paper?” he asked. “It is red,” I replied. “Look closer,” he said. “You will see by this one spot that the paper is white. It is the color of the ink with which it is stained that is red.”

Up at 6 AM, dressed, prayers. Left at 7 AM; weather clear and not overbearingly cold. Service today by Father Tony, who covers the circuit when necessary. Christ the King. Afterwards we were all given a free book, “Why It’s Great to Be Catholic.” At collection, I only gave $1 as there wasn’t a second collection as I expected. Mike Stewart and his wife gave me a ride home, which was providential, as my right leg problems continue. Also, Mike’s wife was gathering up some money for a needy family, so I was able to contribute my other dollar, so that fulfilled my conscience dilemma.

After I got home, I read my catechism and Bible. Took a nap, went in for ramen, and saw S&A working on the shed again. Straightened up the house, read Imaginative Conservative essays.

“She found her husband’s broiling soul/ (Ding, dong, all come to the grave)/ And drew it out with a washing pole/ (something like “All men need their soul to save”)” – A part of a poem I wrote in high school based on the Dutch painting of Mad Meg – I remember Fleming reading it out loud with a rather fierce expression.

Just watched “The Simpson’s Thanksgiving of Horror” and found it to be void of humor and content. Sigh. It’s been going downhill for years, and I’ve watched it less and less, but this must be a new nadir.

Now my chest hurts. I wore my copperfit knee things all day and I just took them off and now my chest hurts. Connected? One good thing is that the little skin tag under my right eye that’s been annoying me the past few days has fallen off. Had an apple for supper. Made it through the rest of the animations, then had an hour and a half gap until the new Rick and Morty. Set alarm then watched the show rather sleepily then went to sleep again.

 

11/25/2019: Wow. The year hastens to its end. Up a little before 5 AM, prayers, catechism, Bible. Right leg still hurting. I guess this is my life now (such as it is). Had the heater on all night. Beautiful weather today. Kam is off school this week. Did no writing. Felt okay in the morning, but after I took an afternoon nap felt worse as I struggled through the day as I finished my wash (3 loads, with the new-old towels Susan gave me). Made cucumber salad, couscous, and their fish for supper. Attack on the computer, perhaps the first all year; shut it down and rebooted. Fell asleep after my ramen couscous supper about 5:30 PM and woke about 7:30 PM. Feel no better. My plan: wash up at 8 PM then rosary.

Andy asked me if I wanted Kelsey’s old plastic drawer thing that she took to that training camp. Kam called me at 9 PM for supper. Spent time cleaning the stickers off drawers and cleaning it up (it smells vaguely of cat pee, probably from its night on the porch). John reacted to the script at last, and pretty positively. He had been busy painting their living room all weekend. Tis now slightly after midnight, and I must hit the hay soon.

 

11/27/2019: Such a perfectly fallish day I had a little trouble doing anything, especially since I didn’t have to get Kam off to school. Mild weather, falling leaves. Prayers, catechism, Bible. Despite my lassitude I managed to get through Rose’s backstory in Chapter Two. Blah, blah, regular Tuesday stuff, aside from having to pen up the Rotts at 2 PM for the pool guy, who came for – extra maintenance? Rosary. Hit the hay at about 9 PM. A night of dreams, of which I record a fragment: being a part of a team of dead men working underwater (don’t have to breathe) cataloging a sunken city, disturbing some kind of monster that comes to attack us.

 

11/28/2019: Up at 5 AM, prayers, catechism, Bible. Washed dishes, got dressed. Caught up diary. It’s now 6 AM. Said Rosary about 7 AM. Wrote up to where Mr. Frobisher is introduced. Went in at 9 AM, made ramen, boiled eggs, made pea salad, peeled eggs in my house. A little after 12 PM went in and made devilled eggs; S&A came and took Kameron to sell his cocoa mix. When came back home I made him bacon and eggs, then started the cheesecakes. Found out I overcalculated the stuff needed. Finished at 3 PM. At 3:30 PM started supper (chili, rotini, corn on cob) and grassed and fed Chis. Finished by 4:30 PM and took my supper in and watched The Flintstones. Ate an orange. I feel one big push would finish the Script; can I do it tonight, or should I try tomorrow morning? Church tomorrow is not a day of obligation, but it does meet specially; can I take it? In at 8 PM to wash dishes, then to bed at 9 PM.

 

11/29/2019: Up at 4 AM to write down Goku dream; finished about 5 AM (it was a detailed dream). Prayers, catechism, Bible. Wrote up to Frobisher leaving. Showered, got dressed, still trying to decide whether to go to church, and the next thing I know I’m walking down the street by Wells&Fargo. A nice couple picked me up by Nolte Furniture and take me the rest of the way; we’re the first people there. Spend much of the time praying the rosary on my fingers. Had a nice service with Fr. Greg, who still seems to be having a little trouble after his fall. Afterwards we sang the Gobble Song as a bit of whimsey, changed the missalettes, and got to pick some produce off the Table of Plenty for our Thanksgiving feast. I got an orange. Walked back (picking up an acorn along the way). Home a little after 10 AM and had the orange for breakfast.

We headed out to John & Amy’s at 1:30 PM, with a little detour to get gravy at DG. We got there and found Donna’s brother already arrived to see her father (who had recently been placed on hospice). We took the pea salad, devilled eggs, and cheesecakes in, and after a bit we ate, John leading us in prayer. It was wonderful; turkey, rolls, mashed potatoes, great dressing, cranberries, green bean casserole, little pecan pies. Chris was a pretty good fellow, and as we all avoided politics, we had a fine time. Afterwards we browsed around on their big TV, looking at family pictures, videos (disasters and accidents), and ended up watching ALL “The Phantom of the Opera”, after John just wanted to use it to demonstrate the amazing picture.

 Then we played a couple of games of Scattergories. We packed up and said farewell and got home at about 11 PM. Along the way I couldn’t remember the name of the movie “Stripes”, and it didn’t come to me until the very second before I started typing in Bill Murray. I think my brain might be slowing down.

 

11/29/2019: Up about 5:30 AM with a cramp in my leg that made me wonder “Is this it?” I straightened out and lay still a while, and it felt better, and I got up about 6:30 AM and started the day. Dressed, prayers, catechism and Bible. Watched Perry Mason. Watched “The Song of Bernadette”. Transferred ceramic Santas into tall thin dresser and my papers into the three drawer plastic drawers. Went in at 9 AM and got a stuffing sandwich and some ramen. At 10:30 AM got more ramen and a cheesecake, then sat and napped. Up at 1 PM when Kam called me to let the Chis out. Cricket very sluggish and didn’t want to move. Fed cats early. Worked on making two new documents; one for Chapter 3 and one for notes on Chapter 3. At 4 PM I fed the indoors and let the Chis out again, this time carrying Cricket out, still sluggish, but she peeped and finally managed to poop. Wrote S a note about my concerns for the dog. Made myself another stuffing sandwich. All day long it was drippy and grew warmer the later in the day it got. Said rosary. At 7 PM A came out and told me the rest of the Thanksgiving leftovers were for me. I went in, and S said that Crick was doing fine, and asked me to make the cheesecake for K&RH (they had got a crust, and there was all that filling left over). I told them I had not had a chance to check the porch for mail because of the weather, and A looked out and sure enough there were packages. As I was headed back to the guest house, I almost slipped on the porch going down the stairs; luckily A was there to help me by carrying the plates; otherwise, I would not have had a free hand to catch myself. Came out and ate turkey, stuffing, devilled eggs and a little cheesecake. It’s now 9:16 PM, and I’m ready to wind down for the night. Christmas specials already popping up everywhere of course, but at least now it’s a little more understandable. I wonder sometimes if John and Kenny are just humoring me about the quality of my work, afraid that it will be too depressing or divisive if they gave me any serious criticism, or perhaps they are just too close to be clear-eyed about it (I can’t tell myself). Still, the book did get published, so it at least met the very minimal requirements, I guess.

 

11/30/2019: Up about 5 AM, to write up a dream, then an idea about flipping the perceived script on Harry Potter and seeing the Wizarding World as a metaphor for Christianity in a secular world. Dressed, prayers, catechism and Bible. Dipping around the internet and TV as usual: I seldom record all the snips I look at all the time. A little pain in my chest: heart burn or heart trouble? Will I join the Holiday Death Toll? Not quite 9 AM and I’m wondering when they’ll head out to help Kelsey and Ryan. At least it stopped drizzling.

I hit the hay about 10:30 AM and woke to the noon bell. I lay a while then got up. Went in and got cucumber salad, sausage patties (2 I made in sandwiches of cheese and Miracle Whip), apples and oranges, and ramen with bread. I ate most of it as quickly as I could. Fred dropped in in the afternoon but finding nobody here he left (he set raccoon traps). It’s about 2:40 PM and I’m ready to sleep again. Warm and mostly sunny.

Went in at 4 PM to grass the Chis and feed the pets and found that Kam was still here! S had told me last night that he was going with them, but apparently not. Swept the kitchen porch. Grabbed another ramen to eat later. Dipped in and out of The Great Race on TCM and a Dead Like Me marathon. Almost 6 PM and I getting ready to turn on the back-porch light and the safety lights. Still feeling a little off balance and occasional chest pains, probably gas.

At about 8 PM Andy showed up and told me they were back; he also brought me a half of a burrito, some fajitas, and a flour tortilla. He said K&RH were doing well and seemed happy moving into their new apartment. Prayed the rosary at 9 PM. Want to lay down for a nap and then up at 11:15 PM for The Mask of Demetrios; we shall see.

Notes

Back in those days, I only got $20 every two weeks; John paid me for my writing, which was very kind of him. I was able to parse it out for various things over the weeks. I always had a couple of dollars for the collection plate, and, if the pot was big enough, money for lottery tickets. The tickets were a rather desperate hope for financial independence; now that I have Medicare, my situation is not so dire. I no longer chase lottery tickets (except when a jackpot reaches over a billion dollars) but my writing has also slowed since I don't need that $20 so much anymore. 

I'm rather surprised to realize I apparently don't have a proper copy of Jason and the Argonauts in the Archive. I might need to rectify that soon.

That little plastic dresser of Kelsey's has proved to be very useful; right now it holds all my drawings and hand-written and printed copies of some of my writings.

As you can see, I am at times very insecure about both my health and my ability to write. Sometimes I inwardly resemble that picture of Sydney Greenstreet on The Mask of Dimitrios, a movie that was proving rather elusive at the time, but of which I now have a copy.