My Brother Mike

 

Today would have been my brother Mike's 59th birthday. This is a little collage I made with my computer in the early 2000's; the paper I printed it on got water damaged at one point. There is so much I want to say about him. There is so much I would like to say to him. When he passed away, he had just completed a large novel and was on the point of trying to get it published. Finances and other circumstances made that difficult; it was before the boom in electronic publishing became big and made sending your work over the internet easy. There is so much that could be told about him. This is part of the bare-bones obituary I wrote at the time:

Michael Wayne Babel was born Feb. 9, 1962, the first son of E.E. ("Buddy") and Patricia Babel. He graduated from Seguin High School in 1980, and attended Southwest Texas State University from 1980 to 1984.

A dedicated reader, writer, and editor of great skill, he was twice winner of the Gates Thomas Award for prose writing. In his time he worked at KWED in Seguin, KGNB in New Braunfels, and at the Seguin Gazette-Enterprise, but perhaps enjoyed his work as a substitute teacher in the Seguin area best. His most recent job was at River Gardens in New Braunfels. He passed away at home on Oct. 21, 2006. 

He was a beloved uncle, brother and friend; a great wit, a scholar, and a deeply loving heart.

March 1981

 

MARCH 1: Stayed home. Rested up.

MARCH 2: Got some rest. Was absent from school.

MARCH 3: Got research paper back. A+! Went to Writer's Round Table.

MARCH 4: A pretty good day. I feel happy. Wrote poems.

MARCH 5: Got "Out of the Silent Planet," "Perelandra," "That Hideous Strength," and "Glinda of Oz." I'm torn between joy and euphoria.

MARCH 6: Got "The Lord of the Rings" Cliff Notes and an eye check. (March 7)

MARCH 7: Worked. A dull day.

MARCH 8: Rested. A dull day. Read.

MARCH 9: Had Monday off. Mowed at Nanny's. Mower broke. Hooray!

MARCH 10: Wrote a funny parody of German lines in the workbook.

MARCH 11: Got "Farmer Giles of Ham," "The Adventures of Tom Bombadil," "Deus Irae," and "The Acts of King Arthur and His Knights" by John Steinbeck.

MARCH 12: A boring day. I must get my glasses. Soon!

MARCH 13: Work was fast and easy. No big problems.

MARCH 14: Went to Nanny's and just waited around. Went to work. Drew "Morg" [on big cardboard]. Got glasses.

MARCH 15: Worked a usual day. Went to [driving] simulator.

MARCH 16: Destruction of the Ring. Got "Last Defender of Camelot." Shoveled rocks for driveway. [Odd. I have no memory of this book. Must have got it from SFBC with carelessness, as I often did.]

MARCH 17: A regular school day. Learned more on the simulator.

MARCH 18: Got "I, Claudius," "Claudius the God," "Count Brass," "Champion of Garathorm," and Famous Monsters #173.

   These are all the days I recorded of that March. I see that for all my last-minute scrambling I got an A+ on my English paper. Perhaps Mrs. Richardson was being kind, or maybe I was just such a GENIUS! I include covers of the books I no longer have. I found "Glinda of Oz" particularly gratifying, as it completed the fourteen Oz books that Baum himself wrote. I have a different copy of "That Hideous Strength" since this one fell apart. The trilogy was one of the few good presents that Nanny ever got me. Every spring I celebrated "The Destruction of the Ring" with some feasting and ceremonies. I'll have to write about that in another entry.

More Little Red Diary (the Other Half of February)

 

FEBRUARY 16: Mrs. Cotton got morning sickness; got replaced by Mr. Sanders.

FEBRUARY 17: Got new Thor #[?]. Went too early to get check. Gave Fleming all the story [Goldfire].

FEBRUARY 18: Got [Led Zeppelin IV-"Stairway to Heaven"], Thesaurus, "B. C.: 2nd and 3rd Letters of the Alphabet Revisited". Lit candle.

FEBRUARY 19: Fleming gave Chapters 1-5 back. Says never to summarize. Lit candle in shed and talked [with John] again.

FEBRUARY 20: Went to work.

FEBRUARY 21: Went to Nanny's. Worked. Ragged out later.

FEBRUARY 22: Finally got a little rest. Not much.

FEBRUARY 23: I need to send in my driver's application. (did, on 25th)

FEBRUARY 24: Didn't go to Writer's Round Table. Tigger died.

FEBRUARY 25: Got five new Star Wars guys, five new Smurfs, a small Smurfhouse, and a set of prehistoric animals.

FEBRUARY 26: Cleaned house up. Did dining room.

FEBRUARY 27: Sent off for "Giants" and "Kingdom of the Dwarfs."

FEBRUARY 28: Susan had her party.

FEBRUARY 29: Tried to rest. Didn't succeed much.

Mr. Sanders had been one of our bus drivers back in grade school and to see him again at the end of high school was like a sign; a call back, as it were, to the beginning of the story of my public education.

I was now hanging out in the shed in the evenings sometimes. Lighting the candle was a strange way of asserting myself and my responsibility. And it was a nice mellow light.

Nothing ever came of my driver's registration, because I never was confident enough to get behind the wheel. Susan would have been 8 on March 2; this was an early birthday party on the weekend. Tigger was our yellow and white cat. 

Little Red Diary (February 1981): Forty Years Ago This Month!

FEBRUARY 1: Just rested after a hard day's work.

FEBRUARY 2: Six more weeks of winter! Gave a great Kiowa report. Mrs. Cotton ran over a dog (accident).

FEBRUARY 3: Went to Writer's Round Table, showed pictures. Got nominated for "Best Artist" of Senior Class.

FEBRUARY 4: Got a Dr. Demento record. Started my new story.

FEBRUARY 5: Got "Satyrday" and John got "Dawn of the Dead." Diary at first wouldn't open.

FEBRUARY 6: Lock broke entirely. Shoddy construction. Got measured for cap and gown. Got "The Magic of Oz."

FEBRUARY 7: We had a mix-up after work.

FEBRUARY 8: Rewrote Chapter 2 [of Goldfire}. John wrote Chapter 7.

FEBRUARY 9: Got nominated for "Most Likely To Succeed." Wonders never cease. Mike's birthday.

FEBRUARY 10: Got "The Lure of the Basilisk," "Snoopy, Top Dog," Savage Sword of Conan #63, Famous Monsters #172. Got to read Chapter 2 at Writer's Round Table.

FEBRUARY 11: Got nothing today. A boring, stupid day.

FEBRUARY 12: [Redacted]

FEBRUARY 13: Kept sane. Had a terrible algebra test.

FEBRUARY 14: Got "Latin-English Dictionary," "Dictionary of Misinformation," "Macbeth."

FEBRUARY 15: Cleaned out old green and white shed.

Quite a few things to unpack from these scanty entries. For one thing, I was a senior who still rode the school bus while most of my colleagues knew how to drive and had cars of their own. The long ride took almost an hour, and sometimes I even fell asleep in my seat. The "new story" I started was probably "The Old Boy", which became the first chapter of "The Shadow Over Alben". We used to listen to the Dr. Demento radio show late at night while we worked back in the kitchen at Mr. Gatti's; the parodies and gonzo humor appealed to our little circle of friends. I suppose I was trying to differentiate myself while at the same time trying to fit in with some circle or other. The reason I cleaned out the old shed was to have a personal space to hang out, away from my brothers.

But one, at least, wasn't having it. "Shoddy construction" my eye. Mike broke that lock trying to pick it, apparently wanting to see what "mighty secrets" I might be keeping. I couldn't lock the diary anymore, but I saw that any attempt at privacy was futile anyway. It took me a while to forgive him. 

The Little Red Diary (January 1981)

1981 was my senior year of high school. As you can see, most of the money I was making at my part-time job was going to buying books, comics, and so on, instead of saving up for my proposed college career, which I had hoped to put off for a year until I was more prepared for it. As you can see from the history of my research paper, which I had months to work on, I have a history of dithering and last moment frenzied completion.  I have recently started a complete re-write of our epic fantasy, "Goldfire". Having got one book in the "Omen Trilogy" my obsessive compulsive nature required me to get them all, popular culture hash though they were. I was really scrambling for input. Those monster mags and the "Fantasia" and Beatles records went to John later. 

JANUARY 1: John started our story [Goldfire] again. The star [conjunction] that hasn't been seen since 4 BC appeared.

JANUARY 2: Dropped a tray at work [Mr. Gatti’s]. Embarrassing.

JANUARY 3: Had to stay up late at Aunt Margaret's. Saw "The Green Slime," "MechaKong," and "The Great Garrick." [The first time I ever watched cable TV.]

JANUARY 4: Worked on my research paper all day.

JANUARY 5: Went back to school. Had headache. Slept after dinner till 10 PM.

JANUARY 6: Worked on sonnets in English.

JANUARY 7: Gave book report on "The Life of Samuel Johnson." Got "Fantasia" [record], "Outlaw of Torn," and "A Swiftly Tilting Planet."

JANUARY 8: Loaned $20 to Mom (repaid). John late for bus.

JANUARY 9: Got this diary, "Flash Gordon," "Forgotten Beasts of Eld." Found $14 at work. Saw "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?"

JANUARY 10: Got up late after staying up late at Aunt Margaret's. Got "The Final Conflict."

JANUARY 11: Went to Nanny's. Boring, but no work. Cleaned desk, moved shelf. Saw "Magic." [This could not have been the traumatic night we saw it at the drive-in, could it?]

JANUARY 12: Got flu from Susan. 

JANUARY 13: Sore throat. Went to Writer's Round Table and read story. Good. Mike found a pregnant Siamese cat.

JANUARY 14: Got "Solomon Kane," "Omen II," "Conan 362," Beatles Red Album, and Fangoria #10.

JANUARY 15: Took Algebra exam. Had rest of day off. Tomorrow I have off work.

JANUARY 16: Took Biology II exam. Got "Split Infinity," Thor #306, "The Tin Woodman of Oz," and "B.C.: One More Time." Day off.

JANUARY 17: Extremely boring morning. Read all the books I got yesterday. Worked hard all night.

JANUARY 18: Cleaned closet and room.

JANUARY 19: Moved books, cleaned shelf.

JANUARY 20: Inauguration of Reagan. Hostages freed.

JANUARY 21: Changed into Driver's Ed and Texas History. Got "Omen," "The Sword in the Stone," "B. C. Where the Hell Is Heck?" and "Life is a $1.25 Paperback."

JANUARY 23: A very good day. Got Fantastic Films Special Edition #22.

JANUARY 24: A working day. Nothing even vaguely interesting.

JANUARY 25: Took my books out. Have four days to do my research paper.

JANUARY 26: A headachy day. I have not written any on my paper. Listened to "The Taming of the Shrew." [I think this was the John Cleese edition.]

JANUARY 27: Went to Writer's Round Table. Watched a Christmas show. Loaned Fleming "The Silver Stallion."

January 28: Got "The Sword and the Satchel" and "I, B.C." Was absent today. {Actually, played hooky to give myself more time to work on research paper.]

JANUARY 29: Finished my research paper! Only a few minor adjustments now.

JANUARY 30: Got "Book of Lists #2." Turned in paper.

JANUARY 31: Got two bags of little animals, both wild and farm. Had set-up with John.

The Hobbit Desk Calendar 1978

I got my copy of this calendar when the year was already half over and it was deeply discounted. It is the earliest exactly dated record of some things that happened in my life. At this distance, I wish it had been more detailed.

HOBBIT DESK CALENDAR 1978

 

July 4, Tuesday: Saw fireworks. Went to Dallas's birthday. Got books.

 

July 8, Saturday: John's birthday. He received a checker set, a Friar Tuck doll, and a black book.

 

July 10, Monday: Received this calendar (The Hobbit Desk Calendar 1978).

 

July 18, Tuesday: Kenny's birthday. He received Dr. McCoy and Ape Man dolls.

July 20, Thursday. Went grasshopper hunting. Started Gandalf paper.

 

August 5, Saturday: Got "Fantastic Films." It had a preview of "LOTR" Movie.

What Happened (Part 40, and the End of Chapter One)

 Such were the commonplace joys and fears and the manner of my life until I was six years old.  Looking back I can see I have focused a lot on things as well as people, but then I was highly affected by the animism of early childhood, when things have, if not personalities, then at least characters that can deeply affect you, with aesthetics that influence. They are equals in existence, and can even seem eternal, and not just disposable things. And the people I knew?  “What venerable and reverend creatures did the aged seem! Immortal cherubim! And young men [were] glittering and sparkling angels and maids strange seraphic pieces of life and beauty! Boys and girls tumbling in the street, and playing, were moving jewels. I knew not that they were born and should die....all things abided eternally as they were, in their proper places.”

I was growing up in the Sixties, but what that means to most people when they hear that term meant very little to us.  We were still struggling, in a way almost unconsciously, to live up to what President Johnson had called The Great Society.  In Texas, we were about ten years behind most cultural trends, and in Seguin, a little town far away from the big cities, even more so.  Hippies were just weirdoes and bums (a horrible, shaming insult in our family) and drugs were likely to kill you outright.  How we felt about the great wave of songs that Bob Dylan and the Beatles and the like were riding could be summed up in one term lifted from the prehistoric hillbillies on The Flintstones: “bug music;” although we did hear sanitized versions of some songs on the radio or in the variety shows.  Abstract art was “a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.” Pop was totally conservative, but Mom, being a little younger, could be slightly more open to new things: in pop cultural terms of the times, it was as if Andy Griffith had married Laura Petrie. It was a childhood that would not be unfamiliar to a kid from the Fifties.

It was a world where things were made of glass and metal, not plastic, and where phones were stationary and TV channels few. We ordered things out of catalogs and through the mail, and toys could come in boxes of detergent and books with a can of coffee.  We got our clothes and shoes from Sears and J.C. Penney’s, and cheap elegance for the house from pasting S&H Green Stamps. My mental state at the time might best be expressed in the lyrics of the old song: “you’re not too mad, and you’re not too sane, and you don’t compare and you don’t complain’-- or at least you didn’t complain too much -- “all you do is just sit tight.”

There were two circumstances auguring change in the years ahead, though I paid them little heed at the time. For one, Mom was starting to have regular visits from a nice young lady named Irene, where they would sit around, drink coffee and discuss things, like the condition of the world today.  For another, Mike started to go to school. Every morning we’d see him march stolidly down to the corner of the Loop to wait for the bus. I’d watch from the dining room picture window until he disappeared around the corner. I had been told that next year (a year was a very long time to a little boy) I would be going to school with him.  I would ask him about it when he got back, and got some vague ideas as to what went on, but I couldn’t imagine what it would be like.  But that’s the future for you, whether you’re five or fifty.