Sunday, March 23, 2025

Have a Seat

 


I've been pondering getting a recliner for a few years now. If I had a recliner I would probably get rid of my old couch, and maybe even its matching loveseat, thus making a lot more room in my little house. Lately they have started making a chair that fulfills all my needs, much better than the sort of brown faux-leather recliner that has proliferated so much in the past twenty years; the new model is the sort of chair 'to go boldly where no seat has gone before.'
A typical example; there are other models and companies available.

It could probably even replace my hospital bed, because it could hold me at a relaxing angle that would help my breathing as I try to sleep. The hospital bed could do that, but I tend to slide down until my head is resting where my back should be. The 'leg bumpers' on the recliner would help keep my legs in place, not reflexively crossing them. I do not particularly care about the massaging and heating features of the chair (which no doubt add to its price from $1200 to $2500), though they are a bonus that I'm sure would be helpful at times. Probably in time when those features start breaking down (Scotty: 'The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.') you'll find a lot selling second-hand; as long as the reclining function still worked, I wouldn't mind having one of those at a cheap price. But of course a brand new working example would be the ideal.

Saturday, March 22, 2025

Why Easter is Not a Pagan Festival


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0m2ZQaxfpnY

Every year about this time we start to have various posts (most often on Facebook) about how Easter has a pagan origin. The 'explanations' about why this is are slipshod and shady at best. This link examines the idea in a more historical and scholarly fashion.






Friday, March 21, 2025

Friday Fiction: King Korm (Part 1)


          Korm looked into the wavy running glass of his wonky mirror, a cheap apprentice work that his madra had purchased years ago for a penny. He nervously checked his beard. It was his Third Beard and had come in much thicker than anyone who had seen his wispy First or Second Beard had expected. In fact, it was so long and bushy that it made his skinny profile look uncannily like an upright walking broom. He stroked his whiskers’ bristly length. The beard was problematic.

          Morgs have a complex relationship with their beards. The males calculate their lives’ seven stages by the changes in the growth, and over the ages certain beliefs had sprung up and grown entrenched about what your beard meant about you. Korm had never really given these beliefs much credence, perhaps in part because his sparse early growths had not augured particularly well. And then, almost overnight, this.

Boys who had ignored his puny frame before were suddenly in the mood for a fight, challenging him like young goats ready to butt heads. Girls who had never spared him a second glance now slowed as they passed him by, gazing long and speculatively. Korm flinched under all this attention; he simply didn’t know how to handle the change. Especially because, underneath it all, he knew he was exactly the same Morg that he was before. And it was all going to get worse, he knew, because with the Third Beard came the King’s Camp Service.

Morgs are the farmers of war; they consider, say, an infestation of Ogres as much a nuisance as a plague of locusts, and with as much stolid straightforward facing the problem and weary shouldering of the burden. They have little romance of war but admire a good warrior as they would admire someone who handles the farm well, with care and sacrifice. To this end there is the King’s Camp.

Once the Third Beard was upon you, no matter what pathway of life you chose, there was a year when you left your family, your town, and even all personal possessions behind you and reported to Camp. There were drills, weapons classes, and (the only thing that even vaguely appealed to the scholarly Korm) the history of great wars. The rest of it all sounded as deadly dull as possible to the young Morg, and he tugged his beard in frustration at the thought.

“Now, now, boy, that won’t make it grow any longer, you know. And don’t you think it’s already long enough?”

Korm whirled around at the creaking, unexpected voice, his claws hastily dropping to his side.

“Uncle Akko!” he yelped. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

The elderly Morg waved a fragile, weightless paw dismissively and came tapping all the way into the room, leaning on his curling black cane. His twisted right leg dragged the floor behind him. Technically, Akko was Korm’s grandmother’s cousin; but as their closest living relative he had taken the boy and his mother Tessa under his wing. And now he had even outlived poor Tessa, dead for five years in the last outbreak of Barek’s Breath. Well, perhaps it was the Will of Shyreen. At least, that’s what Akko tried to tell himself during the dark watches of the night.

“I understand, I understand,” he wheezed, moving over and sitting with a sigh on the rumpled bed. “Believe it or not, even an old Witness with a bad leg had his moments of vanity in his youth.”

“It’s not vanity,” Korm began. “Far from it. I just wish everyone would stop looking at me, and … and smirking …” He threw up his hands helplessly.

Akko wagged a crooked forefinger.

“But you can’t tell me that somewhere deep inside there isn’t a part that’s not secretly pretty pleased with yourself, eh?” He laughed at Korm’s dumbfounded look. “Camp will knock some sense into you, though.”

Korm groaned inside.

“And then you can settle down to learning the Way of the Witness in earnest,” the old Morg said, pride in his voice. He rubbed his bad knee mechanically. “I may not have much, but that is one legacy I can hand on to you.”

Korm nearly groaned out loud at that. Being a Life Witness, though a vocation perfectly suited to Akko, did not appeal to the young Morg. He had grown up observing his uncle performing his duties, and while the old fellow derived great emotional satisfaction from the Rituals, Korm felt that there must be more to learn about the world than was contained in the Book of Signs.

Every Morg knew that there were great powers that overlooked their lives. There was the shadowy, all-powerful Morlakar Shyreen, creator and judge. There was Mother Ortha, whose most immediate manifestation was the world itself. There were the Yorn, potent spirits of craft and callings, that aided you in your pathway of life. And there was Mog Gammoth, Father and First of All Morgs, who surely watched over his children.

Every Morg believed this for a certainty. But as these powers were seldom if ever seen, they had Life Witnesses.

Life Witnesses put some skin on their beliefs. A Witness stood in place of any or all these Powers, and in their person presided over the important events of a Morg’s life. A birth, a marriage, a business contract, an oath, even a death was not considered properly accomplished if a Witness didn’t attest to it; if the deed were not appropriately Seen. There were a few Witnesses who through their style and presence had grown rich and patronized in the upper echelons of society. Others were like Uncle Akko.

Everyone, from the King on the White Throne to the beggar in the street, needed a Witness at some time or another. When summoned, a Witness was expected to go, no matter what he was doing. As a boy Korm had accompanied his uncle more than a few times in the dead of night to the home of some wretchedly poor family to greet a squalling red newborn or close someone’s eyes for the last time, and come home with no more than a bag of beans or even (on more than one occasion) a pretty or unusual stone. A Witness had to go, but a Witness had to be paid something, no matter how worthless.

Korm didn’t mind that. The attention and the dignity which Akko gave to each case added a certain nobility to his uncle in his eyes, as if in those moments the old Morg were going beyond himself to serve. If it were allowed, Korm was fairly sure his uncle would do the job for nothing. No, it was something else.

Korm had read the Book of Signs back and forth before he was out of his First Beard. He was precocious that way, and he remembered everything he read. He had found several passages that made no sense to him, and several things that seemed flat out contradictory to his straightforward mind. When he asked his uncle for clarification, Akko had counseled faith and patience, but had no answers. That led Korm to more reading beyond the battered old volume of ritual, and that set the boy on a whole-hearted quest through History.

Korm looked around their shabby apartment. It was far too small now that he had the world in his head. But the schools that taught the knowledge he sought, while quite reasonable, were still far beyond their means. If he could reach a certain level, there were scholarships that could carry him on. But could he even ask his uncle if he might try to pursue it, and break the old Morg’s heart? It was such an easy, easy trade-off: his dreams and the rest of his life for a simple but assured trudge along a steady groove until you laid down in your grave.

There was one good thing about Camp, Korm thought gloomily. It was a nine-month chunk of time that stood between him and a final decision. He groaned now despite himself, quietly.

Uncle Akko reached out a comforting claw and patted the young Morg’s back.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “It will all be over soon.”

 

Notes

I loved writing Tales of the Morgs, mostly because I felt I knew Korm and Roth, who starred in most of them, and that I knew the character of the Morgish race instinctively, although I had to write the stories to exactly find out a lot of the details of their lives. I had always had an idea about the cultural significance a Morg's beard had to him, but the idea of Life Witnesses, a semi-religious office, first entered the mythos here.

Korm started out, 45 years or so ago, as basically Cornelius from The Planet of the Apes, scholarly, kind-hearted, and a little timid. He, and his history, have developed since then. Here, in King Korm, we have the earliest look at him as a young Morg trying to figure out his destiny. Next would be Korm’s Master, in which you might say he starts college. In Korm and the Lost Library he goes on an adventure and comes of age. There is a glimpse of him in Thron as one of the old king’s court, and of course he is one of the ‘fellowship’ in the unfinished epic Goldfire. He visits our own world in A Friend You Haven’t Met. As a very old Morg he helps untangle the threads in the The Peculiar Wooing of General Roth. And in Aftermath, he has … moved on.

Which doesn’t mean he won’t appear in any more stories. If I can think of another good one where he fits.

Thursday, March 20, 2025

Hey, Moose


Here is the last bit of art by our grandmother Nanny that used to always hang at Loop Drive. It has unfortunately lost its heavy wooden frame somewhere along the way. It is dated September 23, 1963, so I would have only been about two moonths old when it was finished. Signed 'Sylvia Thigpen.' It always used to hang over the encyclopedia shelves in the no-man's land between the living and the dining room. I seem to remember someone (was it Nanny herself?) saying that she painted it walking in water because she was none too sure how to do hooves (they are tricky). Yes, the moose is also a little wall-eyed, but I have very fond memories attached to this picture. I'm glad that it has resurfaced. I'm afraid I've lit it rather poorly, washing the icy mountains out in a blinding field.

'Sometimes I Just Get Cast Into Those Time Passages'


I was talking to my brother John yesterday about how my thinking about I, Claudius had led me to thinking about what was when, and making a time-line of when various influences entered my life. Some can be dated broadly, but few precisely. I know Tolkien entered my life when I went to see a play adaptation of The Hobbit, in 1972, which led me to read the book when I was in middle school, but which year in the three year span was it? I'm guessing 1975-1976. I can date Star Trek to when I was in Fourth Grade, so 1973-1974. This was when it was first in reruns. What about Planet of the Apes? I don't think we saw the first film when it came out in 1968. So when and why? It was in the air; maybe we even came to it from the MEGO dolls; maybe it was from one of the many sequels, or maybe the movie had been run on TV by then.  Movies came to our little town theater a little later than to the big cities; we seldom saw big films like Jaws or Star Wars until some time after they premiered, so who can say when, exactly.  And those were big franchises, new minted, or almost new. What about something like The Wizard of Oz, which was archeological in its presence, the movie way before the book (as far as my life went)? And other things, especially books, which were much more personal events and had no recognizable public advent. A timeline task that could not be accomplished with any precision and only a bit of personal satisfaction. But still somewhat fascinating to me; many things sank deep into me when I was young and became part of my evolving self. And as C. S. Lewis once noted, "one keeps on tracing what are now quite big things in one's mental outfit to curiously small sources."

Wednesday, March 19, 2025

Time To Be Hittin' That Old Dusty Trail


Another piece of family art that the fathomless sea of Susan's storage has given up. Painted by our grandmother Sylvia Doiron, it hung behind the couch in the living room at Loop Drive for donkey's years. It's undated, but easily over 60 years old. While Nanny had trouble rendering anything that looked alive and her perspective was problematic, I do have to say she did have a talent for almost transparent, gemlike mountains in some backgrounds. The many times I had to carefully dust this picture, or stared wistfully at that curved road, wanting to escape down it away from boring JW meetings! 

Into the Archive: Merely Anarchic


Mere Anarchy, by Woody Allen (2007, Random House)

After reading Apropos of Nothing, I felt compelled to look into Woody Allen’s input again. Most of his published work since Side Effects (1980) have been screenplays or plays. He returned to comedic anthologies with Mere Anarchy, a collection of 18 tales, 10 of which had previously been published in The New Yorker.

I ordered Mere Anarchy for a mere two dollars, with four dollars shipping fee of course, a softcover edition. It arrived this Monday. I haven’t read it all, but I’m already noticing a difference from his classic stories. I don’t know if it’s because I have changed, or because Woody has changed.

If I had to lay my finger on one difficulty, it’s that the comedy seems clotted. There are humorous effects sometimes coming four to a sentence; there is no time to rest, no breathing space. Some of the references take a moment or two to untangle. And the formula, at least in the first few tales, is repetitive: a nebbish discovers a popular new trend and hops on it only to discover it’s passing away with inherent flaws being discovered. Perhaps it’s an effect of having them collected all together; as Anthony of Anthony’s Animations on YouTube says of the Warner cartoons, they were not originally made to be seen in batches and so had no problems re-using styles and set-ups. Use of comedic or ironic names – Millipede, Mealworm, Pontius – come thick and fast.

Still worth reading, however, and hilarious in its own right, if you can get over the speed bumps. I fully intend to get Zero Gravity (2020) if I find one for the right price, if only for completeness’ sake. Like most things I enjoyed in my youth, Woody’s writing doesn’t seem as enjoyable as it once was. But that may just be on me. Or the nature of life.