Thursday, August 11, 2022

Lord He’p Me

Having recently finished an (inaccurate) count of my books, I am now engaged in preparing an actual list that will help me nail down the precise number. I don’t know how much this is encouraged by my squirrel-like urge near the end of summer to turn over my hoard or my possible (if undiagnosed) obsessive/compulsive tendencies. What I do know is that this list is not the ultimate end of my compulsion.

What I want the list for is something more devious. Let me explain. The question occasionally arises in my mind: what if I am forced by circumstances into a smaller space, and must make some Solomonic decision as to which books would I keep, and which could I do without? What, really, is the core collection? What if I just decide, in some moment of sober self-reflection (it’s happened before), that I don’t need everything I’ve been clinging to all these years?

Thank God I don’t have to get rid of any (just yet), but the theoretical plagues me, and teases me as a mind game. A game I feel I must play, just to see the outcome. How will I choose between my multiple copies of Alice in Wonderland, The Wind in the Willows, of Grimm’s Fairy Tales? I think I even have copies of The Hobbit that I could squeak by without … but the pain of letting them go! Still, it is a horror that can be relished in the imagination and thinking of it makes me appreciate them better in reality.

When the list is complete, I’ll mark the essentials with a pound sign, and the dispensable with an asterisk. Then I will know exactly how many books I have, and how many I really ‘need’. I’ll post the results here; probably not the actual list, as that would be a tedious task, especially if I feel compelled to explain the reasons for my decisions. It is a game best played privately, but I thought I’d mention what I’m up to in my spare moments.

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