4/13/2018: Friday the 13th. Woke up about 3 AM, really woke up. I decided
to ambush my creativity and go ahead and write; started right in, and wrote on
till 7 :30 AM, when I posted it straight off to John. Probably won't hear
anything till past 11 AM, and maybe not till tonight. At 7:45 AM, in celebration
and high spirits, cripped over to the store and bought a lottery ticket. Got
home about 8:45 AM, blogged, searched, and checked my sites to almost 9:40, read
Bible, and ate. Now I'm settling down to do my page of ASA [Mike’s novel, A
Stranger and Alone], then I'll probably hit the hay for a bit.
Could only stay down till 12:30 PM, despite (or perhaps because of) my
unusual efforts. Checked e-mail, and here follow my communiques with John:
I have just this second (7:30 Am) finished this first draft of "The
Testimony of Ambrose Abernathy." I began writing at 3 AM (I think I
ambushed my brain at this unholy hour, to get it working), having only been
able to produce two paragraphs between Tuesday morn and then, the time mostly
taken up with tinkering with Tzaddick and notes for this tale. I am
thoroughly pleased with finally getting it out of my craw. I'm thinking about
ambling down to the store with my dollar and buying something celebratory.
As you can see, it is one of the longer stories, and rather Freudian as it
played out, if not in starting intent. I'm not even sure (right now) when I
started it in the first place. I'll probably take a breather for a bit and then
start rewrites.
From: John
Sent: Friday, April 13, 2018 10:55 AM
Glad to see you have got your draft! I think I'll wait until this evening
to give it a read- I hate to make you wait for feedback, but work reading is in
stops and fits, and I want to give it a good read and some thought. That being
said- your award awaits you! It came in yesterday- a beautiful book, of course-
and I shall deliver it to you first chance I get this weekend. I knew you'd come through!
I Replied:
I am just happy to see you know it's there, and I would much rather you take in its rather hefty read in one draft (heh). The new pages that I wrote come in to almost exactly the 10 of my estimation. Also, most gratifying to know B[eren]&L[uthien] is so close to being in my grasp. Thank you, thank you, thank you -- for the book, for the motivation, and for the faith! I look forward to the review, and to seeing you this weekend.
Spent the rest of the day either trying to sleep and failing or watching TV
or YouTube or reading Pepys, kind of restless. John sent me a short note of
approval slightly after 10 PM, and says he'll see me more and talk tomorrow.
Perhaps now I can rest. Kenny still hasn't responded to me sending him Tzaddik
yet. Then late at night he did, and said he'll check it out.
4/14/2018:. Here at 5 PM I've only had a banana. John e-mailed me that he
might not come today, and as he hasn't, most likely won't. Maybe tomorrow.
Changed the cat's litter with much pain and trouble, but now it's done. Worked
on the re-writes for Abernathy, and now have it in pretty good shape,
awaiting John's critiques. I've been having kind of strange mind blips: as in I
typed which for wish above, and I've had several of the same sort of reflexive
errors. Also saw I used Childermass instead of Kindermass in Abernathy,
but that was probably more due to the time that had passed since I wrote on it;
I find I started it early in August 2017! Beautiful day outside, wish I could
sit out, but the Rottweilers try to eat me when I do.
About 5 PM S&A went out to eat, first taking Kameron to a new game
store nearby, then dropping him off back home. Kam came in and hung out most of
the evening: we watched a little Kung Fu Panda in Spanish and then some POTC:
Curse of the Black Pearl. He went to sleep and woke up at 9:30 PM and went
inside. I started writing 'Unbelievable,' a new short story, more for fun and
to occupy my time than anything. It's a tale of what might have happened if I
had started magically writing my stories in high school. Pretty late at night I
zonked out at last.
4/15/2018: Got up, wrote a little more 'Unbelievable', up to the part where
Mike and I drive away from the Writer's Roundtable. It is odd; I think in a
part of my mind, it is always There and Then, whenever I think about the past,
as if it were a place that can always be revisited and might be redeemed. A
little before 8 PM Andy comes over and gives me 4 boiled eggs. I spend most of
the day hoping for John to come over, at least to bring me Beren and Luthien,
if not to take me out to eat. A little after 2 PM Kameron comes over to hang
out. About 5:30 PM S&A come home with Whataburger for Kam and he leaves. I
finally gave up on the thought of John coming today. Waste time (on/off all
day) getting new free Kindle books. Put a few short works through the Natural
Reader, which is proving an excellent tool for finding errors, but also
deflated by finding my music player (except for several playlists) seems to
have lost many of my files. Think about watching the 8th season of The
Practice on YouTube, for the Alan Shore and Denny Crane parts. Looking at a
quite hungry night until 9 AM tomorrow. Still reading Pepys (56%). Oh, and I
spent time this afternoon sweeping up wicker grindings from the bald spot in
front of the guest house and seining through them to get the rocks out before I
throw them away, with the Rottweillers chewing on my head as I sit.
4/16/2018: Andy brought me spinach and mushrooms this morning, leftovers from last week. I made a cup of makeshift
mushroom soup. Watched "Big Jack" (Wallace Beery, 1949), a
movie I'd seen a part of some years ago, that may have influenced AF a bit. At
nine started the wash. Some Boston Legal. Worked a little bit on a
project, folders keeping all notes and versions of individual short stories
together. ASA. Shall I continue on 'Unbelievable'?
4/17/2018: Got up early; the routine. Made a review for B&L on POB.
Mind wandering on what to write now. At 1 PM watched Father Mitch. Usual
routine otherwise of show hopping: Star [vs. the Forces of Evil], MASH,
Seinfeld, P[hineas] &F[erb], Boston Legal, not settling down on
anything with any satisfaction. Ate sandwich for lunch, and cereal. More
wandering and dissatisfaction. Will Kenny ever say anything about my stories?
Boiled potatoes and salad for supper; took nap. Went in at 8 PM, made Kam
cheese toast, and a little later washed dishes. Susan is painting jars for
Kelsey's wedding. Right now, Night of the Demon on TCM.
4/18/2018: Still wandering; wrote a little on 'Unbelievable.' More routine
as above. Kelsey came by a little after 3 PM and hung around waiting till Ryan
got off work. We talked about her trials until it was time to go in to start
supper: vegetable spaghetti with poblano sauce, garlic riced cauliflower, and
salad. K got a text that her 'nephew' was taken to the hospital with trouble
breathing. She went out to wait for Ryan. We saw Rigby, the racoon, on the
kitchen porch at about 5 PM, in broad daylight, eating the cat's food. More
amiable routine; went to bed about 10 PM, waking at 12:30 AM, 3:30 AM, and at
last at 6:30 AM, with punctuation of strange dreams. Then wrote John, technically
on:
4/19/2018:
6:45 AM E-mail to John: Well, in
lieu of any other story ringing my bells, I'm still working on 'Unbelievable'
in fits and starts, seeing where it will lead me. As well as being a
self-indulgent jeu d'esprit, it's part evocation of a time, part
memoir, and part therapy. Perhaps when I find out how it goes, I'll have an
epiphany. It is foreseen that you will
appear as a character, in due course.
Speaking about foreseen, it is a hoot looking back at notes for some
stories and seeing what changed in the working out. The deal with Abernathy was
originally that he himself was an odd phenomenon, and carried a weirdness
damping field, which explained why his cases resolved themselves into logical
explanations when he went around them. The fact that the Dog-Mother-Matrix was
the LEAST weird thing that the possibilities allowed was the big reveal. Maybe
I can recycle that concept.
I did have one new idea that I may as well record here, lest it be lost. No
story yet, but time and characters. It's in the fifties, and a new Director has
been appointed. The Bureau has been eclipsed, obscured, and ridiculed in the
Atomic Age. It is a political appointment, a reward or sinecure; the new
Director has neither experience nor belief. He is simply a 1950's politician:
early 40's, ambitious, good at his core, dedicated to his career and playing
the game, but naïve outside his wheelhouse. The Secretary (who he at first
treats as a secretary) is a dour, serious woman with plenty of experience; I
cast her as a combination of Elsa Lanchester and Dorothy L. Sayers.
Plain-looking, no nonsense, business-like, middle-50's. They are mutually
suspicious, and she is especially contemptuous of his lack of vocation for
their peculiar business. Their first adventure is them getting to know each
other and the politician getting to know the reality of the Bureau.
And now it is even a little more developed than when I started making the
note. I wonder what they could face?
Maybe HE'S a weirdness dampener. I should check the Files.
Notes:
I was going to post from my 2019 Diary, but looking into it I saw that it was the beginning of the real Covid-19 furor then and was just too depressing. In 2018 I was having the scrapingest of financial times, but was getting a lot of writing done. These entries are slightly edited, mainly to cut a dismal amount of ramen noodles.
I haven't posted The Testament of Ambrose Abernathy yet (it's a long one), but here you can see the origins of what became Capitulation, which has been published here. Unbelievable never really came to anything, but I may post it for Friday Fiction this week.
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