Showing posts with label 2018. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2018. Show all posts

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Around This Time 2018: Writing Capitulation

 


This part of my diary covers the genesis and development of my short story Capitulation, published elsewhere in this blog. It may have some overlap with my last Diary post. I have edited out most bits not related to the writing. It ends on April 25 (today, six years ago).

4/19/18: I did have one new idea that I may as well record here, lest it be lost. No story yet, but time and characters. It's in the fifties, and a new Director has been appointed. The Bureau has been eclipsed, obscured, and ridiculed in the Atomic Age. It is a political appointment, a reward or sinecure; the new Director has neither experience nor belief. He is simply a 1950's politician: early 40's, ambitious, good at his core, dedicated to his career and playing the game, but naive outside his wheelhouse. The Secretary (who he at first treats as a secretary) is a dour, serious woman with plenty of experience; I cast her as a combination of Elsa Lanchester and Dorothy L. Sayers. Plain-looking, no nonsense, business-like, middle-50's. They are mutually suspicious, and she is especially contemptuous of his lack of vocation for their peculiar business. Their first adventure is them getting to know each other and the politician getting to know the reality of the Bureau.

And now it is even a little more developed than when I started making the note. I wonder what they could face.  Maybe HE'S a weirdness dampener. I should check the Files.

 

4/19/2018: Up very early and wrote an e-mail to John, in which I mentioned a fleeting, fugitive idea I had yesterday. This developed the idea even as I wrote it, then it started to snowball after I sent the message off. Wrote a few notes. I write more notes on and off through the day as 'Capitulation' continues to snowball. I see it so clearly as an old 50's movie. E-mail John again, telling him I have my new Bureau story, and he gives me his suggestions. In a kind of trance in the evening, dreaming up dialogue and plot points, dipping into TV shows, and playing WWF. I wonder if I can write the story (it seems so clear, except the 'Monster of the Week'!) in one day. The important parts are the characters and how they interact with the Bureau.

 

4/20/2018: Get up early in the morning, but not full of beans and buzzing like a bee. 6:30 AM. I e-mail John of my intent: to start new story, "Capitulation" and try to have a first draft by the end of the weekend. Start at 8 AM on the tale. Stop at about 12:30 PM (with breaks to eat breakfast and to ponder); have got through the heavy lifting (the beginning) and got Lovett to the Bureau. Much re-writing and polishing as I go, but managed these not-quite five satisfactory pages, and also more notes as I went along. Now I have to crank the machinery up to introduce Edna and the office. Managed to come up with my monster: a Gremlin. Not too original, but I have a few original things to say about them, I think, and it is 'period.'

 

4/21/2018: 1 PM, and I'm wide awake. To try to sleep or write? The hardest part of writing is starting up again; when I actually get going it can be engrossing.

Managed to sleep until about 6:30 AM, then after a bit settled down to write. Brought the story up to where Yorke leaves Lovett with the brief, so much introduction. Paused at 10:45 AM, almost 10 new pages done and some little re-writing. Shall I continue today? Who knows? But for now, a break. Ran the draft through the Natural Reader, and more re-writing, and at 1 PM, another pause. A restless, hungry pause.

Wrote from 5 to 6:30 PM, five new pages, up to the party invitation, and even managed to introduce the wife into the conversation. Despite Kameron coming in at 6 PM and talking at me. Very happy with this stretch. My writing was the only thing that redeemed the day. Finally, Susan and Andy returned at 10 PM, Kam left, and I curled up to sleep.

 

4/22/2018: Woke up at 3:30 AM, decided I was up for the day. Did the routine, then settled at the computer. Started at 5 AM with a little re-writing and note reading then settled down to it. A bit after 7 AM had finished the Tyrone/Barbara bit, about 4 1/2 new pages. Time for a break, and a run through the Reader.

About 10 AM had another go, the watcher part, and stopped about noon with Lovett unpacking his briefcase. So, a little over 4 pages.

Started about 4:45 PM and stopped at about 7:15 PM. Lovett's lunch until his judgement. 5 new pages. Considering for a while there I was only doing a page a day, I'm whizzing right along. I'm having fun and SEEING everything unfold, like an old movie. Let's hope I can keep it up.

Ate at 7 PM. I spent some time doing little tweaks to the story and a few notes, and, at 10 PM, I think that now I might call it a day. If I go by recent times, I'll probably get up early and start writing again.

4/23/2018: Got up at 2 AM from a dream, tried to lay down for a while till 3, then decided I was up for the day. Bible, shower, dressed, then went over notes, and did small rewrites. Started writing about 4 AM and stopped at 5:15 AM, having got to where the road trip is declared. About 3 1/2 pages. As a lark, introduced a young John as a senatorial page. That should be a hoot. Next phase (6 I think) ended at 7:30 AM.

Started Phase 7 at approximately 10 AM and finished at 3:10 PM and shot it off to John. Now we play the waiting game. That's 16 new pages. My eyes are almost crossing with fatigue, and I keep typing the wrong words. Not mistakes, but whole real wrong words. Five days ago, I had the inkling of an idea, it snowballed for two days, I wrote it in three (technically four), and now it's as long as my longest story. I am spent. Now for rewrites.

Well, as of 10:20 PM John still hasn't called me; he didn't respond to my morning e-mail yet either. But then he may just be brewing up a reply. Made cucumber salad today, so you know it's Spring. Kind of zombied out through supper, but then I had started very early and was carried through the day in a sort of waking dream. I would look up from writing and notice hours had passed. Napped a little from 7-9 PM, then got up and washed dishes. I did things like calculated how many KB I did for each phase, how much I did each day, etc., mostly to kill time, but my mind is so fried had hard time keeping track of the math, but I think I have it pinned down. Now going to obsessively check my e-mail again.

I have a really bad feeling that I might die tonight without hearing what John thinks of this story [I'd been having some health problems].

 

4/24/2018: Got up about 7:30. Got e-mail from John about 8 AM saying he's still reading the story and will try to finish it at work, and that he'd call me later. Spent the day doing revisions on and off, still not quite able divert my mind to anything else. Ended up with a Capitulation 3.0, later re-titled 22 Capitulation in the Short Stories folder. My thoughts are still revolving around Capitulation. John called me just as I sat down to eat, 5:30 PM. We talked and he gave me a few notes: make the gremlin creepier, would a senator be able to head a bureau, I wrote Trevor instead of Tyrone -- twice! He seemed impressed with it, and I related all the trivia that went into its making. I told him I'd already shot him some re-writes.

It's a peculiar thing about working on my writing. When I do I seem to enter a kind of timeless zone where time passes without notice. This even goes for re-writing. Even when I'm doing something else, I'm off, preoccupied with the tale.

Getting ready to send Alan and Kenny the new stories, get some input. I hunger for more approval. 

 

4/25/2018: Spent day refining story, looking up ideas for new stories, partly by mining dream files. Rain really slopped things up, but the cool wet wind before the rain made the chinaberry blossom smell oh-so-sweet.


Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Around This Time 2018

 


4/13/2018: Friday the 13th. Woke up about 3 AM, really woke up. I decided to ambush my creativity and go ahead and write; started right in, and wrote on till 7 :30 AM, when I posted it straight off to John. Probably won't hear anything till past 11 AM, and maybe not till tonight. At 7:45 AM, in celebration and high spirits, cripped over to the store and bought a lottery ticket. Got home about 8:45 AM, blogged, searched, and checked my sites to almost 9:40, read Bible, and ate. Now I'm settling down to do my page of ASA [Mike’s novel, A Stranger and Alone], then I'll probably hit the hay for a bit.

Could only stay down till 12:30 PM, despite (or perhaps because of) my unusual efforts. Checked e-mail, and here follow my communiques with John:

I have just this second (7:30 Am) finished this first draft of "The Testimony of Ambrose Abernathy." I began writing at 3 AM (I think I ambushed my brain at this unholy hour, to get it working), having only been able to produce two paragraphs between Tuesday morn and then, the time mostly taken up with tinkering with Tzaddick and notes for this tale. I am thoroughly pleased with finally getting it out of my craw. I'm thinking about ambling down to the store with my dollar and buying something celebratory.

As you can see, it is one of the longer stories, and rather Freudian as it played out, if not in starting intent. I'm not even sure (right now) when I started it in the first place. I'll probably take a breather for a bit and then start rewrites.

From: John

Sent: Friday, April 13, 2018 10:55 AM

Glad to see you have got your draft! I think I'll wait until this evening to give it a read- I hate to make you wait for feedback, but work reading is in stops and fits, and I want to give it a good read and some thought. That being said- your award awaits you! It came in yesterday- a beautiful book, of course- and I shall deliver it to you first chance I get this weekend.  I knew you'd come through!

I Replied:

I am just happy to see you know it's there, and I would much rather you take in its rather hefty read in one draft (heh). The new pages that I wrote come in to almost exactly the 10 of my estimation. Also, most gratifying to know B[eren]&L[uthien] is so close to being in my grasp. Thank you, thank you, thank you -- for the book, for the motivation, and for the faith! I look forward to the review, and to seeing you this weekend.

Spent the rest of the day either trying to sleep and failing or watching TV or YouTube or reading Pepys, kind of restless. John sent me a short note of approval slightly after 10 PM, and says he'll see me more and talk tomorrow. Perhaps now I can rest. Kenny still hasn't responded to me sending him Tzaddik yet. Then late at night he did, and said he'll check it out.

 

4/14/2018:. Here at 5 PM I've only had a banana. John e-mailed me that he might not come today, and as he hasn't, most likely won't. Maybe tomorrow. Changed the cat's litter with much pain and trouble, but now it's done. Worked on the re-writes for Abernathy, and now have it in pretty good shape, awaiting John's critiques. I've been having kind of strange mind blips: as in I typed which for wish above, and I've had several of the same sort of reflexive errors. Also saw I used Childermass instead of Kindermass in Abernathy, but that was probably more due to the time that had passed since I wrote on it; I find I started it early in August 2017! Beautiful day outside, wish I could sit out, but the Rottweilers try to eat me when I do.

About 5 PM S&A went out to eat, first taking Kameron to a new game store nearby, then dropping him off back home. Kam came in and hung out most of the evening: we watched a little Kung Fu Panda in Spanish and then some POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl. He went to sleep and woke up at 9:30 PM and went inside. I started writing 'Unbelievable,' a new short story, more for fun and to occupy my time than anything. It's a tale of what might have happened if I had started magically writing my stories in high school. Pretty late at night I zonked out at last.

 

4/15/2018: Got up, wrote a little more 'Unbelievable', up to the part where Mike and I drive away from the Writer's Roundtable. It is odd; I think in a part of my mind, it is always There and Then, whenever I think about the past, as if it were a place that can always be revisited and might be redeemed. A little before 8 PM Andy comes over and gives me 4 boiled eggs. I spend most of the day hoping for John to come over, at least to bring me Beren and Luthien, if not to take me out to eat. A little after 2 PM Kameron comes over to hang out. About 5:30 PM S&A come home with Whataburger for Kam and he leaves. I finally gave up on the thought of John coming today. Waste time (on/off all day) getting new free Kindle books. Put a few short works through the Natural Reader, which is proving an excellent tool for finding errors, but also deflated by finding my music player (except for several playlists) seems to have lost many of my files. Think about watching the 8th season of The Practice on YouTube, for the Alan Shore and Denny Crane parts. Looking at a quite hungry night until 9 AM tomorrow. Still reading Pepys (56%). Oh, and I spent time this afternoon sweeping up wicker grindings from the bald spot in front of the guest house and seining through them to get the rocks out before I throw them away, with the Rottweillers chewing on my head as I sit.

 

4/16/2018: Andy brought me spinach and mushrooms this morning, leftovers from last week. I made a cup of makeshift mushroom soup. Watched "Big Jack" (Wallace Beery, 1949), a movie I'd seen a part of some years ago, that may have influenced AF a bit. At nine started the wash. Some Boston Legal. Worked a little bit on a project, folders keeping all notes and versions of individual short stories together. ASA. Shall I continue on 'Unbelievable'?


After 4 PM John turned up with 'Beren and Luthien', a beautiful little book, and we had a long discussion until almost after 5 PM, about writing, etc. After supper (salad, couscous) read B&L; no original work, as C[hristopher] T[olkien] says, but new pictures by Alan Lee and the material well organized. Kam hung around and went in after 10:30 PM.

 

4/17/2018: Got up early; the routine. Made a review for B&L on POB. Mind wandering on what to write now. At 1 PM watched Father Mitch. Usual routine otherwise of show hopping: Star [vs. the Forces of Evil], MASH, Seinfeld, P[hineas] &F[erb], Boston Legal, not settling down on anything with any satisfaction. Ate sandwich for lunch, and cereal. More wandering and dissatisfaction. Will Kenny ever say anything about my stories? Boiled potatoes and salad for supper; took nap. Went in at 8 PM, made Kam cheese toast, and a little later washed dishes. Susan is painting jars for Kelsey's wedding. Right now, Night of the Demon on TCM.

 

4/18/2018: Still wandering; wrote a little on 'Unbelievable.' More routine as above. Kelsey came by a little after 3 PM and hung around waiting till Ryan got off work. We talked about her trials until it was time to go in to start supper: vegetable spaghetti with poblano sauce, garlic riced cauliflower, and salad. K got a text that her 'nephew' was taken to the hospital with trouble breathing. She went out to wait for Ryan. We saw Rigby, the racoon, on the kitchen porch at about 5 PM, in broad daylight, eating the cat's food. More amiable routine; went to bed about 10 PM, waking at 12:30 AM, 3:30 AM, and at last at 6:30 AM, with punctuation of strange dreams. Then wrote John, technically on:

 

4/19/2018:

6:45 AM E-mail to John:  Well, in lieu of any other story ringing my bells, I'm still working on 'Unbelievable' in fits and starts, seeing where it will lead me. As well as being a self-indulgent jeu d'esprit, it's part evocation of a time, part memoir, and part therapy. Perhaps when I find out how it goes, I'll have an epiphany.  It is foreseen that you will appear as a character, in due course.

Speaking about foreseen, it is a hoot looking back at notes for some stories and seeing what changed in the working out. The deal with Abernathy was originally that he himself was an odd phenomenon, and carried a weirdness damping field, which explained why his cases resolved themselves into logical explanations when he went around them. The fact that the Dog-Mother-Matrix was the LEAST weird thing that the possibilities allowed was the big reveal. Maybe I can recycle that concept.

I did have one new idea that I may as well record here, lest it be lost. No story yet, but time and characters. It's in the fifties, and a new Director has been appointed. The Bureau has been eclipsed, obscured, and ridiculed in the Atomic Age. It is a political appointment, a reward or sinecure; the new Director has neither experience nor belief. He is simply a 1950's politician: early 40's, ambitious, good at his core, dedicated to his career and playing the game, but naïve outside his wheelhouse. The Secretary (who he at first treats as a secretary) is a dour, serious woman with plenty of experience; I cast her as a combination of Elsa Lanchester and Dorothy L. Sayers. Plain-looking, no nonsense, business-like, middle-50's. They are mutually suspicious, and she is especially contemptuous of his lack of vocation for their peculiar business. Their first adventure is them getting to know each other and the politician getting to know the reality of the Bureau.

And now it is even a little more developed than when I started making the note. I wonder what they could face?  Maybe HE'S a weirdness dampener. I should check the Files.


Notes:

I was going to post from my 2019 Diary, but looking into it I saw that it was the beginning of the real Covid-19 furor then and was just too depressing. In 2018 I was having the scrapingest of financial times, but was getting a lot of writing done. These entries are slightly edited, mainly to cut a dismal amount of ramen noodles.

I haven't posted The Testament of Ambrose Abernathy yet (it's a long one), but here you can see the origins of what became Capitulation, which has been published here. Unbelievable never really came to anything, but I may post it for Friday Fiction this week.


Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Around This Time, 2018

 


2018 DIARY

 

It is with a bit of a shock that I realized I hadn't written any kind of a diary (as such) since Kaitlyn's wedding in October. Here it is March 18, and the Shanafelts have just come back from Spring Vacation in Florida, so why not start up again?

First, a short summary of what has gone on between. I am no where nearer to getting The American Fantasy published, though I have written several short stories in connection with it. The circulation in my right leg seems to be getting worse, so more pain and trouble there. I've had several trips to St. James Catholic Church, to start work on my joining. I've started transcribing Mike's work on his early novel, A Stranger and Alone. After I broke my old Kindle in October, John has given me a new old Kindle, which I quickly loaded with over 800 free books, and am now reading Pepys' Diary again. Have taken up playing Words With Friends on Facebook, and Amy is giving me a tough but fun run for my money. And that is the short of things. So on with the diary.

 

March 18, 2018: Yesterday I had swept leaves everywhere (front porch, kitchen porch, back porch, pergola, pool) in preparation for the Shanafelts's return, and ten minutes after I was done a short sharp shower swept through and muddied and beleaved everything up again [live oak tree leaves fall in spring]. But luckily I had got the Rottweilers put away in time. So the family got back about 9:30 PM or so. I gave them a few minutes to get back in, then Kameron came in, and we talked a little bit about the trip (it was like pulling teeth) but mostly about his travel anxieties. When I went in to say hello and good night to S&A, the first thing I learn is that I had been feeding Vader Kylo's food (well, it was the only bag on the counter) but it was okay. Kameron decided he wanted to sleep in my house, so it was after about an hour we actually settled down (he had to take a shower in the big house, and have the chihuahuas, and Andy brought him corndogs after they got his truck) and then it was a while before Kam settled down to sleep.

This morning we got up about 9AM. We watched Duck Soup and Howl's Moving Castle on DVD, then the end of Finding Nemo and the new Star vs. The Forces of Evil. I got Kameron some powdered donuts and deer sausage for "breakfast," then at 2:30 PM Susan brought him a couple of tacos. At 3 PM he went back in.

So, no souvenirs from the trip this time, ... and not even a bit of a 'welcome back' meal yet (unless you count those two cold mustardless corndogs last night). What I've had so far is some popcorn to eat all day -- but I've had worse Sundays. I've got to buckle down and stop drifting and see if I can't get out of this situation.

So I helped Andy and Kameron set up his PS2, then went out to dip my feet in the pool a bit. It was still too cold to swim, but I soaked a bit, saved a grasshopper, and fished leaves out. Then the dogs came out, and Vader got all over me, so I went in and took a shower. This evening Andy brought me out a cinnamon bun from Whataburger and a batch of the worst snack mix I've ever tasted, left over from the trip. The bun was great. I did eat all the snack mix, in lieu of a real meal. I am jonesing for meat, and sit dreaming about making a thick turkey soup with potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery.

 

3/19/2018: Back to the old routine. Ramen for breakfast, and then salad and couscous for supper; no meat. Kameron hung around this evening and we had a good visit. For a while these past months he seemed glued alone to his room, but now we have visiting time again.

 

3/20/2018: Joined Fr. Mitch's "Scripture and Tradition" on Facebook. Very nice day; windows open and fan on low. Swept porches and brought in recycle bin. I had taken a cardboard box out to put it in bin, and the truck pulled up when I was half-way down the driveway, so I was just in time. Boiled taters and salad for supper. Another nice visit with Kameron. We looked up what a cranefly is and and talked about Sanskrit and looked up James Hong and found out Hong translates to "big" and talked about mental health! The boy has many interests. Still reading Pepys' Diary (hereafter PD). Kelsey coming to take me with her to do wash tomorrow. Legs still pins-and-needling making it hard to lie down. Right now Modern Times is on; I had put "Spring is Here" from Limelight on Facebook today. It IS the first day of Spring.