Diary 2020: The End of April

Well, once more I fear I've somehow slipped up somewhere. But at the cost of maybe skipping a few days, I'm going to post from April 20th to the end of April 2020.

4/21/2020: Up at 7:11 AM. Got dressed, prayers, Bible. Perry Mason. Power of Babel. Page of KK. Got DVDs from John off porch. At 9 AM ramen with eggs and bread. Kam’s eggs and bacon. A little after 10 AM said Rosary on porch. Checked the bins; winded just walking out to the end of the driveway. Lots of squirrels. A little cloudy.

At lunch had two sandwiches: turkey with cheese and PBJ. DW shows, House, YT DQ8. Finished up the first section of script in KK and sent to John. Supper: cabbage and taters and sausage. Takes a little bit longer now that I have to peel the potatoes. Got some disinfectant wipes in a baggie. Listened to Yen read 3MM. Went in and washed up at 7:30 PM; forgot my dobie pad, which I use to scrub the frying pot. Must collect it tomorrow. Still pondering whether to go to TX Cooler for a lottery ticket. Much more DQ8. Went to bed almost 1 AM.

 

4/22/2020: Up about 6:30 AM, after having a strange dream about an hour earlier. Let me preface. I had prayed yesterday that, if it was allowed, I would hear from Mom in my dreams. In my dreams I was at some party where the music was rather loud. Suddenly I got a phone call that appeared to be from her, and I started talking and trying to get John or Kenny over to listen. It was hard, because of the music. Then I must have become suspicious, because I asked, “In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, can you tell me anything else?” The line went dead, and then a small, quiet, almost mechanical voice (definitely not Mom’s) said “No.” I woke up and prayed, for protection and also for forgiveness for requesting such a thing.

When I was up, I said my regular prayers and read my Bible. Got dressed, straightened up, and caught up my diary. Decided no, no TX Cooler this morning. Posted. Made Kameron toast and breakfast biscuits, then ate leftover sausage and cabbage for breakfast. While I had wanted to make a few ‘revolutions’ to exercise, it had started drizzling rain today. DQ8. Should be writing but can’t force myself just yet. I need one hint of encouragement, a cough, anything, to keep me from plunging into apathy and depression right now. Something from outside, not an appetite that I invoke or compel, like a TV show or a book. A kind word. I try to be the servant, the helper, the encourager of others. Perhaps not enough; not enough for anyone to care. I have dropped my work into others’ e-mail slots. A great silence echoes back. These are feelings. Must hold on until they pass.

I have movies, but nowhere safe to run them. I have games, but no system to play them on. I have tons of books that I’ve read and reread, and hundreds on Kindle that I can’t quite face. I have writing projects that mock me.

The only things to even mildly engage me right now are reruns of House and watching DQ8 run-throughs on YT, and even they don’t really engage me. A horrible, humid, damp day, a little clearing towards evening. Started stew at about 1:40 PM (it takes a long darn time), including jalapeno cornbread. Pork roast, onions, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, and red bell pepper. It was $:30 PM before it was done, and in between I grassed and fed dogs and helped Kam with his homework. Yen read more 3MM [The Three Mulla-Mulgars] this evening, then I went in to clean up, and got a bar of soap from S&A. Came in, said rosary, straightened up, and now I feel like going to bed. But maybe a shower first? And Kam hasn’t asked for any supper, but maybe he’s okay; sometimes they buy him something, sometimes he just eats chips.

 

4/23/2020: St. George’s Day, so also Shakespeare’s Birthday. Coronavirus Pandemic: Dem Panic Con, Virus Roar. The meaning is the Democratic Party pulls a political con game on the panicking public while the virus roars away. The day was hot, but dry, so no wretched humidity; it was okay. Shower in the morning; no shorts so wore pants. I did all the usual things: prayers, etc. Wrote a tidge on AFYHM but could have done so much more. In the morning Kam out to hang around a bit while I cooked his breakfast, which was nice. My main timewaster was watching DQ8 on YT while a commentator with a pleasant British accent played it. For supper made chili, corn on the cob, and rotini. No Yen reading tonight. Bed at about 10 PM.

 

4/24/2020: Woke up about 6 AM, made a note for AFYHM and caught up diary. Prayers and Bible, then rosary. Beef ramen for breakfast. The morning is so bright and clear and cool. I can see the dust in the house and on my things in the sunlight. Struck again with the alarming – well, I can’t quite call it an urge, more of a thought or an instinct – let’s say, the concept of keeping only one copy of each essential book and shedding other copies and books that I really have no real need to hold onto. Take Alan Garner for instance. Haven’t read his four books in 30 years, though I’ve tried. They could go, and I’d never miss them, except as an object I’ve had for decades. I really have no reason to cling, except there’s no reason to part with them, as there’s little to be gained except space and ease.

Made Kam bacon and eggs, and I had some bacon and eggs too, for once. About 1 PM the dogs were barking, and I went out just in time to see first the pest control guy, then Andy drive up. A asked me to put the Rotts in the guest house with me for a bit, and I did. They behaved pretty well, but they were dusty from being outside and in 10 minutes had already shed  a big handful of hair. It didn’t take long, though, and they were soon out of the house. For lunch I had the leftover chili and noodles, which I topped with a slice of cheese. At 4 PM I let out the Chis, then reheated the stew for supper. All through the day I had watched MageMasher’s walkthrough of DQ8 and finished it in the evening. Kenny was a little late tonight but read 3MM at 7:30 PM, the section with the Water Midden, and doubtless will finish off the book tomorrow. All day I wanted to write but felt a great lassitude (a $5 word for laziness, I think). In the morning and in the evening there has been a sweet scent of blooming in the air. Jasmine? Chinaberry? Just beautifully poignant and elusive.

 

4/25/2020: Woke up during the night once with one of those hypnogogic visions, where I still see images imposed on the waking world. This was definitely no memory. It was a huge yellowjacket, as big as a fist, hovering in the air, and covered and crawling with other wasps on its body, head, and legs. The fear was as brief as the vision. Got up, went to the bathroom, then back to bed.

Really woke up at 6:30 AM. Got up, opened the windows to let the cool in. Caught up diary. Contemplating a shower, and the day’s itinerary.

Showered, then prayers and Bible. Ramen for breakfast. Took up writing and did 4 or 5 pages by 10:30 AM on AFYHM. It was nice and sunny all morning and Andy mowed some, but by 11 AM clouds started to roll in, and here at 11:24 AM I’m hearing thunder. Got in chicken salad for lunch.

Soon as I wrote that, it started to HAIL, slightly bigger than pea-sized stones, not windy, and then rain and hail, then rain, hail, and sunshine at the same time! Things seem to be calming now (11:49 AM). With the smell of mowing, rain, and dramatic sunshine, it reminds me of that old camping trip.

Spent a lot of the afternoon watching “MostAmazingTop10” videos, about cryptids, demons, ghosts, and other High Weirdness. Then I watched the St. James Catholic Church mass (which ‘Sunday’ Mass is offered on Saturday afternoon). Kam came in about halfway through to hang around, then yakked about his analysis of the Alien movies with me a while. Which was rather like threshing old hay for me. We talked a little about video games, then he went in at 6:40 PM.

Kenny read the last of 3MM tonight and gave me nice credit for pointing out the book to him; he seems very taken with it now. S&A went for a walk with the dogs. At 8:50 PM I went in and got the last of the broccoli salad and 4 boiled eggs for supper. Read some more Collected Mark Twain until bedtime at 10 PM.

 

4/26/2020: Up at 6 AM. Said prayers, read Bible, washed dishes. It was cool last night, but it took a long time for me to feel it, and with windows open at night I felt a little uneasy. Ready for EWTN mass at 7 AM.

Ramen for breakfast and lunch. Watched more Most Amazing on YT. About 6 PM, when I had started the Rosary, Andy brought me in some fries and 4 boneless wings from Wing Stop. Tried to watch the Sunday animations, but … sheesh. It seems all the things I used to cling to – The Simpsons, Star Trek – have turned to shit, or are just over. Reading some Mark Twain (satires mostly, from newspapers) and Kenny canceled his reading tonight because of migraines again. But altogether it has been a mild spring day. Bed at 9:30 PM or so.

 

4/27/2020: Up at about 2 AM and had to make some rather loose stools. That woke me up, and in sudden inspiration I figured out that if I set the big mirror on the little fridge it would be the right height and place (because of the plug) to use the clippers to shave my beard. In a bold move I did so, making my beard into a little Charles Dickens-like goatee. I probably won’t keep it, but I’ll try it a little while. Went ahead and said prayers, read Bible, and prayed Rosary at 3 AM. Then laid down and tried to sleep.

Up again from an interesting dream (which see), and a storyline that I think would make a good movie on its own. It’s now 7 AM, and I’m pretty sure I won’t be going to TX Cooler this morning, as, apparently, we might still be under county lockdown. Until I’m sure I shouldn’t budge. But I have until Wednesday to find out.

So at 9 AM I started my wash and made Kam’s breakfast, and then my own at 10 AM with eggs and bread in ramen. Boiled eggs, but did not make chicken salad; left a note to say if they wanted some I could make it in 5 minutes. Wrote just a bit, but also watching House and GGACP. The pool guy came by at 11:11 AM just as I was changing loads.  

I made broccoli salad a little after 12 noon, cutting up the broccoli as I listened to DW shows. There was no cheddar cheese. Finished the wash. About 4 PM grassed the Chis and fed inside pets. Made salmon rings and couscous. Helped Kam with his homework. Yen started “Alice in Wonderland” and “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” tonight. Bed early again.

 

4/28/2020: Up about 1 AM, did some writing, then prayers and Bible. Starting to yawn again, so will try to sleep some more. Dropped off about 3 AM, I’d guess.

Up at 7:30 AM after the usual restless intervals. Vader, for some reason, was howling mournfully. The morning seems a little damp and yellowish around the edges, and the birds are calling, but not many or merrily. My right arm is sore and I’m moving slow. My resolve (how long will I keep it?) is no TV or Internet until I’ve done a healthy chunk of writing.

Kept it up pretty well until about noon, when I had about 9 pages done, and they were headed for St. Helwig and the showdown. For breakfast: 2 ramen; for lunch, a ramen and a sandwich; for supper, made sausage, taters and cabbage. Having so much writing done made the rest of the day bright. I brought the bins in and swept the kitchen porch. Read more Mark Twain. Rosary at 5:30 PM. Kept wondering all day if any of my 3 correspondents would message me about anything, but zilch as of 7:50 PM. But I suppose that’s okay. Yen’s not reading tonight, and probably not tomorrow night either, as he has that Zoom thing. Still, I feel cheerful, which is unusual. It never did rain, and the evening’s rather yellowish again.

Went in at 9 PM, and S&A were just leaving for a walk. Got Kam’s supper and washed up, and got a second helping of cabbage and taters. Now that I’m frying the potatoes [rather than boiling them], they are really good. Came back in and hit the hay pretty late after some reading.

 

4/29/2020: April almost over! Awake at 3 AM and prayed, read Bible. Feeling rather gray and grim, with thoughts about the past and what I should have done. Laid down, then up again at 7 AM, dressed, straightened house, and opened windows. Outside it is cool with a rather steady, medium rain. There are rumbles of thunder.

By 9 AM it had cleared up. Went in and made Kameron toast. Had ramen with eggs, and toast with jelly. Wrote 1 page on AFYHM. About 12:15 PM Kam called me in to sew up the tear in his shorts and secure the button, which was right on the tear. Got a reply from Kris Jerome about the stories I sent him, and spent an hour or so crafting a letter back, which I sent with another story and a picture of an Ogre. It’s now 3 PM, and I’m thinking about supper, which will be pork chops, I think. Day pretty warm and sunny right now. The sixth day since I’ve heard from John.

As it turns out it was baked chicken breast, rice, and broccoli. When I came back in, I did hear from John, apologizing for not having written before. No Yen reading tonight, or until after May 4, apparently. At 6:30 PM went out to pray Rosary on the front porch. Went in at 7:30 PM to clean up and made Kam his supper. Ginger ran out when I went to get the taquitos, just in time while S&A got home from their walk. As I was going out there was a wasp inside the window by the back door; Andy came over and killed it. When I got inside, I found I had nicked my right forefinger (probably washing the knife); it took a while for it to stop bleeding. Watched YT vids until about 9:30 PM. Ready to read more Mark Twain and try to get to sleep.

 

4/30/2020: Up about 5 AM, prayers and Bible. Nice and cool all night and this morning without being cold; the air is insouciant (the only word). Wrote about a page. Had 3 ramen this morning, then 2 eggs and a slice of bacon, THEN a sandwich on toast and a banana. For lunch, a ramen with the leftover rice and chicken. For supper made chili, rotini, and corn on the cob. I had chili with 2 slices of bread, then later more chili and bread, the last of the broccoli salad, and the last awful bits of the chickpea rotini made slightly more palatable with mayonnaise and lemon pepper. About 1 PM John called, and we had a long talk about new circumstances: he’s taking a voluntary paid layover “in times like these”. Not ideal, but apparently, he’ll actually be making more than if he stayed on, and when business picks up (please God) he’ll go back without prejudice. In the meantime he hopes to get in shape and perhaps write a bit. I sent him (again) what I had of AFYHM so far, for ease of reading; he hadn’t been able to just yet. Not much happened otherwise. House, DW, Flintstones, YouTube ghost compilations, reading Mark Twain article essays (Shelley, Christian Science, shipwreck survivors). Bed about 10 PM. 

 

April 2020 Diary: Fear, Writing, and Ramen

4/13/2020: Up about 6:30 AM. Wrote down dreams. Andy came over about 7:40 AM to talk about chicken salad; the upshot is, the salad is still on. Salmon patties, couscous, and pea salad for supper. Prayers, Bible rosary, ramen, leftovers, Grimm’s, Frankenstein, and a little writing on KK [King Korm], AFYHM [A Friend You Haven’t Met]. So it went. Cold near the evening.

 

4/14/2020: Up at 6:30 AM. Prayers, Bible. Andy came in and said I should make ham and use regular potatoes [instead of red potatoes?] for the cabbage for supper. Ramen (w/eggs, bread) for breakfast, and just ramen for lunch. Wrote a good bit on AFYHM and sent a batch to John. Pretty cool all day.

The new use of potatoes worked very well; everyone agreed it was very tasty. I finished off the pea salad and made cucumber salad. Other than making Kam bacon and eggs this morning I hardly saw him at all. Susan says he is pouting because he missed a few online sessions with school and church, and she fussed him. Kenny read more Grimm’s and Frankenstein, but I hardly listened.

John’s e-mail: Wow! This [A Friend You Haven’t Met] is getting really way out! Reminds me a bit of Robertson Davies.  Fun stuff! So, is Old Bob really Bob Bob? If you get my meaning, sir. I returned to work today, where wearing masks is now required, which is a good thing, I suppose - but made for a kind of surreal night.  Interesting that the virus has made its way into the tale.  But it is hard to ignore it, isn’t it? And if you are in a surreal fantasy story writing business, then it is kind of an ideal natural stage management to have it presiding over things. I kind of like that you have put the damn thing to work for you- empowering, that! I like it!

 

4/15/2020: Wow. April already halfway over. Got up at 7 AM to clear streaming sun but a chill in the air. Prayers and Bible. Washed dishes then watched some Perry Mason, while catching up diary and checking e-mail. Cramps in legs when I woke up.

Made ramen at 9 AM. It was almost 11 AM when Kam asked me to make eggs and bacon. Ate leftover cabbage and taters for lunch, along with ramen. For supper made chicken breasts, rice, and broccoli. Rosary. Yen started reading “The Three Mulla-Mulgars” [aka “The Three Royal Monkeys”] today and continued “Frankenstein”. The day was chilly but sunny. No writing.

 

4/16/2020: Up about 4:30 AM. Prayers, Bible, rosary. I’ve been wanting to record lately that perhaps the occasional hypnagogic vision of people bending over my bed might be the flashes of a primeval memory of people bending over my cradle. Played a lot of WWF [Words With Friends] and made a blog post. Dressed, then laid down a while.

Kam called me at 8 AM. Got up, translated a page of KK, and listened to some Perry Mason while I waited for 9 AM to roll around. Finished up the cabbage and taters, then the broccoli rice for breakfast. Had a couple of sandwiches for lunch. It’s warmer today, and perhaps my full stomach (or just my inertia) also accounts for my afternoon slow down. I had intended to work on AFYHM and maybe even some Chapter Four [of Bob’s Book] today. Much time-wasting with watching gameplay of DG8. Well, it’s almost 3 PM and time to husk the corn, I think.

First, I grassed the dogs and fed them. As I started on the corn, Andy came home; the exterminator was paying a visit. Andy caged the Rotts and the Chis were going nuts, but it was over fairly quickly. Made chili, rotini, and corn. E-mailed John:

I have at least three projects I should be working on. I could write on Chapter Four of Bob's Book; I could finish the new story of "A Friend You Haven't Met"; or I can finish 'translating' [into prose] the script parts of "King Korm".  I seem to only be able to work on one at a time, and to have very little inclination to go back to Bob's Book at the moment. What I would like to do is force myself to work on a page a day for each at least, and if one catches fire again to just fly with that. The onset of warmer - but not hot yet - weather seems to be making me sleepy. Anything I do get done happens in the morning. The absence of the few "time markers" [during the shutdown] that I used to have - sending Kam off to school, going to the store, getting to church - has kind of set me adrift in the doldrums. Routine, such as it was, helped me set a schedule. I write this mainly to chide myself, but also to explain to you what goes.  Perhaps (though it is by no means a sure thing) it will help get me back on track. This is certainly a period when you think the atmosphere of impending doom could act as a spur! (I must confess that it was also a fishing line, a hint, a toe in the water, floating out the idea that the pay might start up again. But how could I spend it?)

Yen read 3MM, then I went in to clean up and make Kam some toast. Then listened to Yen finish Frankenstein, with much breakup of connectivity. Now it’s 10 PM, and I’m thinking about hitting the hay.

 

4/17/2020: Up after struggling with sleep all night, like Jacob with the angel, not letting it depart until it had blessed me. I don’t think my apnea will ever let me have a good session ever again. If only they would invent that half-circle recliner I envision! Got up about 7:30 AM from a dream; the coronavirus is now officially in my head.

So. Out of ramen. At 9 AM made a couple of sandwiches. At lunch made a batch of rice with school butter, onions, and spices. A new experiment but quite delicious. Did a smidge of work on KK, AFYHM, and BB2C4 [Bob’s Book 2 Chapter 4], but mainly watched the House marathon and DQ8 [Dragon Quest 8] on YT (watched it at twice the speed; perhaps that’s what inspired my dream on the 18^th), and wasted too much time on FB arguing that Starfleet had a military dimension, if only defensive. For supper, started frying potatoes at about 3 PM (a lengthy process, given my facilities in the house). We had fish, fried potatoes, and cucumber salad for supper. Kam didn’t eat with us. There was an extra piece of fish in the bag, too. Bible, prayers, and rosary kind of late today – I had done half my prayers in the morning). Kenny wasn’t able to read tonight. Started watching “Hail, Caesar!” on Netflix. Bed about 9 PM.

 

4/18/2020: Up at 6:30 AM. Wrote down dream, said most of my prayers, and caught up my diary. The rest of my prayers and Bible. Cooked up some rice with last night’s fried potato oil, so have a lump of grease and starch for breakfast. Stitched up the pocket in my shorts at last, so if I do nothing else today at least I’ve accomplished that. Ready for a shower.

So, rest of the day: watched playthrough of DQ8, had a couple of gross sausage patties for lunch, watched more “Hail, Caesar!”, prayed a rosary, got leftover cucumber salad, chicken salad, fried potatoes and boiled eggs for supper, sent Kris Jerome “Mighty Mikku”, watched a new Duck Tales. Worked on all three of my projects a bit. And now I have to go and make that last statement accurate. Okay, did that. I’m full right now, but I’m jonesing for something sweet, or a drink other than water, or a big ball of cheese. Even some of my “sun tea” would be great now. My cupboard is bare, and I have no ticket for tonight’s lottery, even though I have money. Just not sure if the store is open, or if I could get there with no mask. Let it go.

 

4/19/2020: Up about 6:30 AM. Prayers and Bible, and at 7 AM watched Mass on EWTN. Then I looked up our St. James Mass on YouTube; apparently it premieres on Saturday afternoon, so must remember that. Afterwards I did my usual computer scrounging (DQ8 and Breath of the Wild), then laid down for a nap. Andy woke me up about 1 PM, bringing me ramen soups; I had a couple for breakfast/lunch, then a couple at 4 PM. Anoles and squirrels frisky about. I went out on the front porch about 4:30 PM and said my rosary. The day had grown quite warm (almost 90 degrees) but the wind was blowing and birds and butterflies flitting everywhere. A big pigeon came and perched in the lavender tree for a long time. I went in and a little after 5 PM I took my first dip in the pool. Cold and pretty cloudy water just yet. After a while Susan came out and told me Andy was going to mow. We talked a while. My left leg looked almost necrotic. I went in, and at about 7 PM Andy comes in and says there’s pizza. I go in and we eat, and I have a glass of Dr. Pepper. I listen to Yen read 3MM and Hound of the Baskervilles. Afterwards (it might be the caffeine) I found myself able the write 3 pages on AFYHM. Read to the end of 3MM on the Kindle and now (12:20 AM) am ready to lay down a while.

 

4/20/20: Up a little before 8 AM. Short prayers. Went in at 9 AM, started my wash, made Kam bacon and eggs, then boiled eggs and chicken salad, then made my Monday ramen (which tends to have chicken juice, an egg, and bread in it). Changed loads by 10 AM, then again a little after 11 AM. Went in a little after 12, and started broccoli salad. Had the last two pieces of pizza. Wrote a couple of pages. John called and we talked a bit; some about his worries about work, some about him wanting to contact Kenny. A little after 4 PM let the dogs out, fed the pets (Ditto the cat is back, after an absence). Made fish rings and couscous. Went in before 8 PM to make Kam supper, clean up, and tell Susan that John is dropping stuff off after work. Cleaned up my files from background page and changed it to Trodain Castle [from DQ8]. Time for long prayers, Bible, and rosary. Today warm again, with lots of birds, squirrels, and lizards running around. Still wondering if I dare go to Texas Cooler to get a lottery ticket.

Notes

Well, they have made the sort of recliner I envisioned, I never did get back to BB2 (the Franklinstein chapter), and I haven't played Dragon Quest 8 for longer than I'd have imagined. The birds and beasts are starting to come back again: lots of cardinals, squirrels, and racing lizards. And at least Covid broke me of the habit of getting lottery tickets.

 

Fools in April 2020

3/29/2020: Up at about 2:30 AM. Tried to get to sleep again, but no go. More obsessive straightening (I wouldn’t call it cleaning) and rearranging, and planning in my head what to do tomorrow. Prayers, Bible. Went to bed about 4 AM, setting the clock for 6:25 AM.

Got up, prayed rosary, and had Mass on EWTN. Andy called me in at 9:30 AM or so and I fried bacon and eggs and made pancakes. Cleaned up. About 12:45 they called me from shopping. I got up and got an apple, then started sorting the Writing Files. They needed it. Put Elf & Bear stuff together in order, and Alben stuff, and Gothenburg stuff, and AGODP stuff, and Ortha stuff. The diaries, poems, and dreams were in good enough shape. Sorted the rest into Ideas, Story Beginnings, Developed Stories, completed Stories. That leaves [sigh] the Drawings to work on. It’s now almost 5 PM.

Not too long after Susan came to me and asked me to start supper. I tried a new idea: cooking the hamburger in a baking dish then cutting it into square patties, and it was simple and worked a treat. Also fried onions and mushrooms together for the patties and made avocado dip and there were some very nicely spiced HEB Taco flavored tortilla chips. Andy had been mowing and doing other yardwork all day, and he began again after supper. Came out and watched Kenny reading more Jungle Book and came to his aid when he fell short of his time by reminding him there was a second Jungle Book. ‘Tis now 8:30 PM, and he should be back shortly to read Dracula. Which he did. As usual, there was an interruption as he froze before the end. Bah. Bed 10 PM.

 

3/30/2020: It was a cool night and I think having a thicker pillow to cushion my knees helped. Still alarming pains in the veins and general weakness, with some loss of stability when I get up, especially if it’s dark. Up about 4:30 AM, wrote some notes on “A Friend You Haven’t Met” (AFYHM). Dressed, prayers, Bible. Now 5:30 AM.

Wash at 9 AM, which I finished by 11 AM. Ramen at lunch. Made broccoli salad. John called and told me he was off work (paid) for a while. Amy was off as well (not paid). He told me that just before all this coronavirus started, Morgandy got a package direct from Wuhan, China, and they’ve been in dread of that for a while. Poor John. He seems particularly worried.

Supper fish rings and couscous. The drizzly rain of the day finally let up by evening. Rosary. Went in at 8 PM and made Kam supper, washed up, and retired for the night. Moved action figures from one bureau to another. Listened to Kenny reading The Second Jungle Book and then Dracula.

Had a strange reluctance all day after making the notes in the morning to write anything. The usual apprehension of not being able to match my conception with the actual incarnation. Well, tomorrow is another day. I hope.

 

3/31/3030: Up about 7:30 AM, showered, dressed, said my prayers and read my Bible. Watched Perry Mason face a gorilla.

That Good Old 1960's Gorilla

 

Translated a page, wrote a paragraph, went in, and boiled eggs and made chicken salad. Had ramen, with an egg and bread. Borrowed a mirror from Susan when they came home for lunch, and I buzzed my head. Kam has some school project on his plate; doesn’t want to work on it just yet but makes sure I stand ready to help him.

Sunny but cool all day. Watched some “House”. About 3:30 PM went in, grassed the dogs, fed the pets, stuffed the peppers, and shucked the corn. Brought the garbage bin in. Supper ready at 5:30 PM. Got a good block of writing in on AFYHM (4 pages) and some notes. Interrupted my flow to help Kam with his homework – a dreadful thing for a 56-year-old man to have to worry about. Went in and washed up, then returned home. Said Rosary, and now at 10:30 PM I’m ready to hit the hay. Tomorrow’s April Fool’s Day. Sheesh. I wouldn’t be surprised with the country being as paralyzed as it is if some fool still tried to flush a cherry bomb down the toilet of the world for the hell of it.

 

4/1/2020: Up about 6:30 AM, prayed, wrote a couple of pages of AFYHM, more prayers, Bible, than transposed a page of KK [King Korm] while I made some ramen. Now about 8 AM. Went in at 9 AM and made Kam his bacon and eggs. For some reason I’m particularly ravening this morning, so making some more ramen (with bacon grease, bread, and a leftover bell pepper cap) right away. Heard news of Rick and Morty new episodes come early May, so that’s a thing. Sunny, but a little cold this morning.

From e-mails to John: I got up fairly early when my brain juice was still pretty fresh and surprised myself by producing a few entire pages on the new story (tentatively titled "A Friend You Haven't Met" or AFYHM for short) in a sort of breeze. It was still getting things 'cranked up' but I found it so technically fascinating, even apart from what was happening, that I galumphed along until I found a good stopping place. There are still a few introductions to do, but the real action is immanent. So we'll see how that goes. Afterwards I translated a page of script to prose, and I vowed that I never would do bits in script again - unless I'm writing a script. It's not hard but it's irksome.

I was reminded of [a quote] this morning for some reason and posted it on Facebook. Here is the longer version of the anecdote:  

 

The story is told of Zusha, the great Chassidic master, who lay crying on his deathbed. His students asked him, "Rebbe, why are you so sad? After all the mitzvahs and good deeds you have done, you will surely get a great reward in heaven!"

"I'm afraid!" said Zusha. "Because when I get to heaven, I know God's not going to ask me 'Why weren't you more like Moses?' or 'Why weren't you more like King David?' But I'm afraid that God will ask 'Zusha, why weren't you more like Zusha?' And then what will I say?!"

Later: And here it is, almost evening. I spent the early afternoon starting to sort drawings, and it’s been so many years since I actually looked at them, that they were a sort of revelation. I'm making a special file of drawings by and of the family; there a quite a few by you in there. I've also started to gather, for the first time, all my "Last Drawings of the Year", starting from 1982. There are quite a few gaps, and I don't know if they are still misplaced, accidentally thrown away, or just never got drawn. As I say, there is much sorting yet to do. I'm also putting groups of drawings associated with specific writings together.

For supper, I brewed a prodigious pork stew that should last for at least two days. It contains pork roast, onions, celery, carrots, potatoes, and cabbage, and there is jalapeno cornbread on the side.  I'm dreading this evening, for Kam has computer homework to do, and guess who is assisting him? Gathering his attention and getting him to work is like herding cats.

And so: Kam and I worked on his stuff, and it wasn’t so bad, except that for one of his assignments a site he needed to reference was down. I finished going through the drawings, finding a few more last pictures, beat the folders into some kind of shape, and put them back. It was something of a revelation looking at them again with a distanced eye, but also with that inner knowledge of their place and origin in different times of my life. I could write a short biographical explanation about each of several 1000 pages! (That’s just a guess, as to number.) Listened to Yen reading Dracula (missed the first part of the evening, helping Kameron). 

Found an old drawing by Susan (she must have been about 7, she says) of the back yard at Loop Drive. A blast from the past, indeed. She also reminded me that I need to get in gear for SSI [Supplemental Security Income], a daunting prospect.

 

4/2/2020: Up about 5 AM, showered, dressed. Short prayers, but also Litany in Time of Plague. Caught up diary and looked at sites. Ready for longer prayers. Prayed, and did Rosary.

Family Medical Center: 303-5224. Appointment Monday, April 13, 10 AM. Well, that’s done.

Since Kameron had to be up to meet his pastor, he was ready to go ahead and do his homework after lunch. That’s out of the way.

I was ready to go in at 4 PM and grass the dogs when there was a sudden boom of thunder, and it began really raining. When it slows down, I’ll go in to heat the stew and take care of the pets.

Did so and went in about 7 PM to clean up. Got some Broccoli Salad and a new thing, Kameron’s miniature Jack-in-the-Box tacos. Watched Elijah play some world of Warcraft, then Yen reading Jungle Book and Dracula. Lost the connection about 10 PM. Wrote a page or so of AFYHM. Read some ghost stories.

Ready for bed, I guess. Having little stinging, shooting pains in my legs, abdomen, and now throat. Is this it? Is it coming on me? Now my hand. Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell, and lead all souls to Heaven.

 

4/3/2020: Up at 6 AM, still alive. Dressed, prayed, Bible.

From John:  It's been pretty weird.  I've been doing various chores, both inside and outside, when the weather has allowed; looks like we are in for a pretty rainy week ahead, so probably not a lot of lawn work will be in the offing for a while.  Reading, watching various things and trying not to think too much about the horrors sweeping the globe.  It just seems like a bottomless pit of shit, to be sure.  Do ya'll have any masks? It would probably be a good idea to wear one if you are heading into the Family Clinic- that place is kinda skeezy even in non-plague times. Ask Susan- they probably have them from the shop, for painting, etc. We are past the point of worrying about over-reacting to this now. We got our new washing machine delivered today, and boy, has that been great, being able to catch up on laundry. Not having one for last couple of weeks has certainly added to the stress- we could use the Loth's washer, and did a little, but the pain in the butt of ours crapping out right as society crumbled was pretty harsh. But now-luxury!

Made Kam eggs and bacon. Made myself ramen for breakfast. At lunch, ramen again, with an egg. About 3 PM started preparing the fried potatoes (peeling, getting the pan) and spent right up to 5:45 PM frying them. We had supper (fish, taters, broccoli salad); I said a rosary about 6:30 PM. No writing so far and I don’t know if I will. Day rainy, damp, and cold.

 

4/4/2020: What a blaugh day. Hard, heavy rain, and cold. Prayers, Bible. Ramen for breakfast, ramen for lunch, with the house closed up and didn’t see anyone until 4 PM, when I got Kam to do homework and I got leftover broccoli salad and (what else) ramen. Finished, went in, and got the leftover chicken salad. Watching “Targets” Boris Karloff, Peter Bogdanovich. I did write 3 new pages on AFYHM and sent the whole thing so far to John, in a fit of ennui. No kid’s reading from Yen tonight; Dracula later.

E-mail from John, as I sent him AFYHM so far: Ha! Okay, this is going to be fun! Just saw I had this a little while ago- I've been pretty much bumming around today, and finally checked in on the wide world.  We watched "Time Bandits " last night- I almost cried just from the sheer nostalgia it evoked. I watched "Brazil" a few nights back- that one is still the brilliant bummer I remembered, seeming more and more prescient every time I watch it again, which has been about once a decade these last few times. The idea of Roth and Korm on the loose in "Walnut Springs” is certainly tantalizing! I love the Monroe Engbrock and Danny Daniels references! Keep rolling, if the weather allows- that heavy gray is certainly a zap on one’s gumption.  I finished "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance " - an interesting philosophical examination which, strangely, but not unpleasantly, had more to do with Greek philosophy than Zen, although that does tie in, in the ineffable way it can tie in to anything else.  Send more when you can!

Notes

So the town of 'Walnut Springs' is based on my hometown of Seguin, Texas; indeed that used to be its name in the old days. 'A Friend You Haven't Met' (see elsewhere on this blog) was a strange little endeavor, a bit of fun to bring together the Bureau of Shadows with the Morg/Ortha stories; I had been writing so many of both then. The tale brings a lot of town lore into it as well, suitably fictionalized; it is indeed almost 'a love letter to a town'!

I remember what a struggle it was to get Kameron to settle down to his homework, to resist the temptation to just do it for him and be done with it! I'm pleased to say in the end he completed his work by himself; my input was mainly encouragement and guidance, and getting him to buckle down to it. I'm afraid he had some of my dilatory, last-minute nature. 

What a lot of cultural balloons we kept and keep in the air to help our spirits stay alive! Perry Mason, Dracula, The Jungle Book, Time Bandits, House, Boris Karloff, -- even Rick and Morty, to an extent! I remember how sad it was seeing certain resources sputtering out, certain shows discontinued, as the lights went out all over the world and we huddled around our campfires.

As you can see by my health panics and my recollection of Covid times, I have a tendency to pessimistic dramatics.

Little Red Diary: April, 1981

APRIL 11: Mike came back [from South West Texas State University, after the end of the semester].

APRIL 12: Got new "Bored of the Rings," saw Errol Flynn's "Robin Hood."

APRIL 13: Took Senior pictures. Tassel!! Really frenzied.

APRIL 14: Very dull. Turned English books in. Over-worked at home.

APRIL 15: Extremely sleepy. Worked till 12 [midnight].

APRIL 16: Peeled peaches. "Dracula, Prince of Darkness"  came on.

APRIL 17: Cored peaches, made jelly. Overworked, though the weather was summery.

APRIL 26: Belladonna had kittens.

Although "Robin Hood" had been around forever and I'd heard much about it (it was even referenced in a Bugs Bunny cartoon), this was the first time I'd ever seen it. My older copy of "Bored of the Rings" (which I still have as well) was showing serious wear. It was the tail-end of my Senior year and a peculiar mixture of excitement, fear, and boredom. I wasn't even 18 yet and all these changes and decisions were suddenly ahead of me. Meanwhile life (and jelly-making with Pop) went on. Belladonna (named after Bilbo's mother) was the daughter of my first cat, Rosemary (named after the girl in "Carbonel, the King of Cats).