3/29/2020: Up at about 2:30
AM. Tried to get to sleep again, but no go. More obsessive straightening (I
wouldn’t call it cleaning) and rearranging, and planning in my head what to do
tomorrow. Prayers, Bible. Went to bed about 4 AM, setting the clock for 6:25
AM.
Got up, prayed rosary, and
had Mass on EWTN. Andy called me in at 9:30 AM or so and I fried bacon and eggs
and made pancakes. Cleaned up. About 12:45 they called me from shopping. I got
up and got an apple, then started sorting the Writing Files. They needed it.
Put Elf & Bear stuff together in order, and Alben stuff, and Gothenburg
stuff, and AGODP stuff, and Ortha stuff. The diaries, poems, and dreams were in
good enough shape. Sorted the rest into Ideas, Story Beginnings, Developed
Stories, completed Stories. That leaves [sigh] the Drawings to work on. It’s
now almost 5 PM.
Not too long after Susan
came to me and asked me to start supper. I tried a new idea: cooking the
hamburger in a baking dish then cutting it into square patties, and it was
simple and worked a treat. Also fried onions and mushrooms together for the
patties and made avocado dip and there were some very nicely spiced HEB Taco
flavored tortilla chips. Andy had been mowing and doing other yardwork all day,
and he began again after supper. Came out and watched Kenny reading more Jungle
Book and came to his aid when he fell short of his time by reminding him there
was a second Jungle Book. ‘Tis now 8:30 PM, and he should be back shortly to
read Dracula. Which he did. As usual, there was an interruption as he froze
before the end. Bah. Bed 10 PM.
3/30/2020: It was a cool
night and I think having a thicker pillow to cushion my knees helped. Still
alarming pains in the veins and general weakness, with some loss of stability
when I get up, especially if it’s dark. Up about 4:30 AM, wrote some notes on
“A Friend You Haven’t Met” (AFYHM). Dressed, prayers, Bible. Now 5:30 AM.
Wash at 9 AM, which I
finished by 11 AM. Ramen at lunch. Made broccoli salad. John called and told me
he was off work (paid) for a while. Amy was off as well (not paid). He told me
that just before all this coronavirus started, Morgandy got a package direct
from Wuhan, China, and they’ve been in dread of that for a while. Poor John. He
seems particularly worried.
Supper fish rings and
couscous. The drizzly rain of the day finally let up by evening. Rosary. Went
in at 8 PM and made Kam supper, washed up, and retired for the night. Moved
action figures from one bureau to another. Listened to Kenny reading The Second
Jungle Book and then Dracula.
Had a strange reluctance all
day after making the notes in the morning to write anything. The usual
apprehension of not being able to match my conception with the actual
incarnation. Well, tomorrow is another day. I hope.
3/31/3030: Up about 7:30 AM, showered, dressed, said my prayers and read my Bible. Watched Perry Mason face a gorilla.
Translated a page, wrote a paragraph, went in, and boiled eggs and
made chicken salad. Had ramen, with an egg and bread. Borrowed a mirror from
Susan when they came home for lunch, and I buzzed my head. Kam has some school
project on his plate; doesn’t want to work on it just yet but makes sure I stand
ready to help him.
Sunny but cool all day.
Watched some “House”. About 3:30 PM went in, grassed the dogs, fed the pets,
stuffed the peppers, and shucked the corn. Brought the garbage bin in. Supper
ready at 5:30 PM. Got a good block of writing in on AFYHM (4 pages) and some
notes. Interrupted my flow to help Kam with his homework – a dreadful thing for
a 56-year-old man to have to worry about. Went in and washed up, then returned
home. Said Rosary, and now at 10:30 PM I’m ready to hit the hay. Tomorrow’s
April Fool’s Day. Sheesh. I wouldn’t be surprised with the country being as
paralyzed as it is if some fool still tried to flush a cherry bomb down the
toilet of the world for the hell of it.
4/1/2020: Up about 6:30 AM,
prayed, wrote a couple of pages of AFYHM, more prayers, Bible, than transposed
a page of KK [King Korm] while I made some ramen. Now about 8 AM. Went in at 9
AM and made Kam his bacon and eggs. For some reason I’m particularly ravening
this morning, so making some more ramen (with bacon grease, bread, and a
leftover bell pepper cap) right away. Heard news of Rick and Morty new episodes
come early May, so that’s a thing. Sunny, but a little cold this morning.
From e-mails to John: I got
up fairly early when my brain juice was still pretty fresh and surprised myself
by producing a few entire pages on the new story (tentatively titled "A
Friend You Haven't Met" or AFYHM for short) in a sort of breeze. It was
still getting things 'cranked up' but I found it so technically fascinating,
even apart from what was happening, that I galumphed along until I found a good
stopping place. There are still a few introductions to do, but the real action
is immanent. So we'll see how that goes. Afterwards I translated a page of
script to prose, and I vowed that I never would do bits in script again -
unless I'm writing a script. It's not hard but it's irksome.
I was reminded of [a quote] this morning for some reason and posted it on Facebook. Here is the longer version of the anecdote:
The story is told of Zusha,
the great Chassidic master, who lay crying on his deathbed. His students asked
him, "Rebbe, why are you so sad? After all the mitzvahs and good deeds you
have done, you will surely get a great reward in heaven!"
"I'm afraid!" said
Zusha. "Because when I get to heaven, I know God's not going to ask me
'Why weren't you more like Moses?' or 'Why weren't you more like King David?'
But I'm afraid that God will ask 'Zusha, why weren't you more like Zusha?' And
then what will I say?!"
Later: And here it is,
almost evening. I spent the early afternoon starting to sort drawings, and it’s
been so many years since I actually looked at them, that they were a sort of
revelation. I'm making a special file of drawings by and of the family; there a
quite a few by you in there. I've also started to gather, for the first time,
all my "Last Drawings of the Year", starting from 1982. There are
quite a few gaps, and I don't know if they are still misplaced, accidentally
thrown away, or just never got drawn. As I say, there is much sorting yet to
do. I'm also putting groups of drawings associated with specific writings
together.
For supper, I brewed a
prodigious pork stew that should last for at least two days. It contains pork
roast, onions, celery, carrots, potatoes, and cabbage, and there is jalapeno
cornbread on the side. I'm dreading this evening, for Kam has computer homework
to do, and guess who is assisting him? Gathering his attention and getting him
to work is like herding cats.
And so: Kam and I worked on his stuff, and it wasn’t so bad, except that for one of his assignments a site he needed to reference was down. I finished going through the drawings, finding a few more last pictures, beat the folders into some kind of shape, and put them back. It was something of a revelation looking at them again with a distanced eye, but also with that inner knowledge of their place and origin in different times of my life. I could write a short biographical explanation about each of several 1000 pages! (That’s just a guess, as to number.) Listened to Yen reading Dracula (missed the first part of the evening, helping Kameron).
Found an old drawing by Susan (she must have been about 7, she says) of the
back yard at Loop Drive. A blast from the past, indeed. She also reminded me
that I need to get in gear for SSI [Supplemental Security Income], a daunting
prospect.
4/2/2020: Up about 5 AM,
showered, dressed. Short prayers, but also Litany in Time of Plague. Caught up
diary and looked at sites. Ready for longer prayers. Prayed, and did Rosary.
Family Medical Center:
303-5224. Appointment Monday, April 13, 10 AM. Well, that’s done.
Since Kameron had to be up
to meet his pastor, he was ready to go ahead and do his homework after lunch.
That’s out of the way.
I was ready to go in at 4 PM
and grass the dogs when there was a sudden boom of thunder, and it began really
raining. When it slows down, I’ll go in to heat the stew and take care of the
pets.
Did so and went in about 7
PM to clean up. Got some Broccoli Salad and a new thing, Kameron’s miniature
Jack-in-the-Box tacos. Watched Elijah play some world of Warcraft, then Yen
reading Jungle Book and Dracula. Lost the connection about 10 PM. Wrote a page
or so of AFYHM. Read some ghost stories.
Ready for bed, I guess.
Having little stinging, shooting pains in my legs, abdomen, and now throat. Is
this it? Is it coming on me? Now my hand. Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins,
save us from the fires of Hell, and lead all souls to Heaven.
4/3/2020: Up at 6 AM, still
alive. Dressed, prayed, Bible.
From John: It's been pretty weird. I've been doing
various chores, both inside and outside, when the weather has allowed; looks
like we are in for a pretty rainy week ahead, so probably not a lot of lawn
work will be in the offing for a while. Reading, watching various things
and trying not to think too much about the horrors sweeping the
globe. It just seems like a bottomless pit of shit, to be sure. Do
ya'll have any masks? It would probably be a good idea to wear one if you are
heading into the Family Clinic- that place is kinda skeezy even in non-plague
times. Ask Susan- they probably have them from the shop, for painting, etc. We
are past the point of worrying about over-reacting to this now. We got our new
washing machine delivered today, and boy, has that been great, being able to
catch up on laundry. Not having one for last couple of weeks has certainly
added to the stress- we could use the Loth's washer, and did a little, but the
pain in the butt of ours crapping out right as society crumbled was pretty
harsh. But now-luxury!
Made Kam eggs and bacon.
Made myself ramen for breakfast. At lunch, ramen again, with an egg. About 3 PM
started preparing the fried potatoes (peeling, getting the pan) and spent right
up to 5:45 PM frying them. We had supper (fish, taters, broccoli salad); I said
a rosary about 6:30 PM. No writing so far and I don’t know if I will. Day
rainy, damp, and cold.
4/4/2020: What a blaugh day.
Hard, heavy rain, and cold. Prayers, Bible. Ramen for breakfast, ramen for
lunch, with the house closed up and didn’t see anyone until 4 PM, when I got
Kam to do homework and I got leftover broccoli salad and (what else) ramen.
Finished, went in, and got the leftover chicken salad. Watching “Targets” Boris
Karloff, Peter Bogdanovich. I did write 3 new pages on AFYHM and sent the whole
thing so far to John, in a fit of ennui. No kid’s reading from Yen tonight;
Dracula later.
E-mail from John, as I sent
him AFYHM so far: Ha! Okay, this is going to be fun! Just saw I had this a
little while ago- I've been pretty much bumming around today, and finally
checked in on the wide world. We watched "Time Bandits " last
night- I almost cried just from the sheer nostalgia it evoked. I watched
"Brazil" a few nights back- that one is still the brilliant bummer I
remembered, seeming more and more prescient every time I watch it again, which
has been about once a decade these last few times. The idea of Roth and Korm on
the loose in "Walnut Springs” is certainly tantalizing! I love the Monroe
Engbrock and Danny Daniels references! Keep rolling, if the weather allows-
that heavy gray is certainly a zap on one’s gumption. I finished
"Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance " - an interesting
philosophical examination which, strangely, but not unpleasantly, had more to
do with Greek philosophy than Zen, although that does tie in, in the ineffable
way it can tie in to anything else. Send more when you can!
Notes
So the town of 'Walnut Springs' is based on my hometown of Seguin, Texas; indeed that used to be its name in the old days. 'A Friend You Haven't Met' (see elsewhere on this blog) was a strange little endeavor, a bit of fun to bring together the Bureau of Shadows with the Morg/Ortha stories; I had been writing so many of both then. The tale brings a lot of town lore into it as well, suitably fictionalized; it is indeed almost 'a love letter to a town'!
I remember what a struggle it was to get Kameron to settle down to his homework, to resist the temptation to just do it for him and be done with it! I'm pleased to say in the end he completed his work by himself; my input was mainly encouragement and guidance, and getting him to buckle down to it. I'm afraid he had some of my dilatory, last-minute nature.
What a lot of cultural balloons we kept and keep in the air to help our spirits stay alive! Perry Mason, Dracula, The Jungle Book, Time Bandits, House, Boris Karloff, -- even Rick and Morty, to an extent! I remember how sad it was seeing certain resources sputtering out, certain shows discontinued, as the lights went out all over the world and we huddled around our campfires.
As you can see by my health panics and my recollection of Covid times, I have a tendency to pessimistic dramatics.
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