"I'll Mace You Good!": Another Incorrect Use of the Term

Yesterday I failed to make a certain note. This was about the Lord of the Nazgul’s weapon, a mace. Many people will think of the overblown thing from the Jackson film, a prop that Jackson admittedly made bigger and bigger for cinematic effect. It was invented for the films. Technically it is not a mace, but a weird chimera of a weapon that I have seen dubbed a mace flail. In most illustrations made before the movies, it is depicted in a more traditional manner. As I noted in my other blog, many years ago:

“The mace was a club-like weapon popular through many centuries and in many countries. Shapes, sizes, and patterns varied a great deal, but mostly had a long handle with a flanged, knobbed, or spiked head. They were popular with churchmen or clerics of military bent, because they were crushing or bruising weapons, and thus circumvented the scriptural ban on the shedding of blood by the sword.

“The flail, as a weapon, was based on the agricultural instrument for threshing corn, and thus favored by lower orders. This devastating weapon, consisting at its simplest as a weighted end suspended from a handle by a chain or leather strip, besides landing painful blows, could strike around shields or entangle the enemy's weapon. Sometimes called, in grim humor, a 'holy water sprinkler.' It could have several heads which made it more deadly but harder to handle.

“The morningstar (or 'morgenstern') was a spiked ball that could be used as the end of a mace or as the weight on the end of a flail. So-called because of its resemblance to a star.”

--Power of Babel, Jan.1, 2013

 

Friday Fiction: Old Ideas

NICK'S QUEST

 

SCENE ONE: Nick's apartment. The set-up. Boss. Wife. Furniture. The Call.

SCENE TWO: Aubrey's house. Aubrey. The set-up.

SCENE THREE: Junk food. The store. Philosophy. Hints.

SCENE FOUR: The highway. Storm. The Gates.

SCENE FIVE: Darkness. The King's highway. The explanation. The book. All through, points of interest.

SCENE SIX: The arrival. Camping. Flora and fauna.

SCENE SEVEN: Morning. Driving. The first encounter. Victory. Out of gas.

SCENE EIGHT: Horses. The Alchemist. Off again.

SCENE NINE: The desolation. Talk. Beasts.

SCENE TEN: The dark castle. Entrance. Confrontation. Realization. Victory.

SCENE ELEVEN: Return. A few last words of wisdom. The happy ending. The Call.

 

[When I found this note, I couldn't make heads or tails of it just reading it. Then while I typed it up, I remembered the gist of it. Nick is suffering the angst and ennui of real life. He has the vague dream of writing a book, but his dead-end job offers no time. He is called to his friend Aubrey's house. Aubrey is a weird but wise recluse who can't drive, and has Nick take him to a store to buy junk food. On the way back a storm opens magic gates through which they drive into a fantasy realm. Nick and Aubrey take his car through this landscape on a quest; at one point they run out of gas and have an alchemist make them some. The quest ends at the dark castle, where Nick learns that the villain is a doppelganger for his boss, who is enslaving his spirit. They return, and Nick quits his job to pursue his bliss.]

Friday Fiction: Notes and Notes on the Notes to "Delphine"

THE DAY DAPHNE DISAPPEARS NOTES

Original Dream:

There is a teen-age girl, about seventeen years old. She has just come out of the hospital after a life-threatening episode. She is highly intelligent and has superpowers, like great fighting abilities and invisibility, tied to a skull ring she has. But she has been keeping them secret, just going through high school like a normal kid. She goes back to high school for one day and is loaded with a bunch of homework. She looks at it, and considering her near-death experience, it doesn't seem important. She realizes she may not have much more life to spend, that it's not guaranteed her.

She and her friends (who know about her powers) at the end of the day are in the parking lot, going to eat at Gatti's. She looks up at the sky and sees storm clouds gathering. She knows it is the Dark Powers gathering to strike, and she is greatly pissed off that they tried to kill her. It's Halloween. She turns to her friends and tells them, "Today's the day Daphne disappears." She wants to do it discreetly, to draw the evil off.

A group of evil minion thugs suddenly attacks Gatti's. The girl (let's call her Daphne; don't know if that's her real name or her alias) attacks them in an all-out beat-down, punching them, disappearing, then re-appearing to punch them again. The fight moves to a nearby gas station, and then goes to the KFC. Her friends follow. After she triumphs, one of her friends says, "If you want to be discreet, this might not be the way."

 

How can I find Daphne? She must be, in the way every character that comes out of my mind, me, and yet recognizably a seventeen-year-old girl. She has elements that are not very strong in me, but that I want to be strong: a sense of purpose, a sense of decision, a sense of action. Strip the incidentals of age and gender away and deep down we all have some very basic things in common; I'm not saying that age and gender and the things that make us ourselves do not matter. You get a very different experience when you eat raisin bread or whole wheat. But they are both breads.

And this story would introduce into the Bureau of Shadows stories a new element that could change the whole shebang: the Reals, both good and bad. People with Wild Talents; some organized into a monolithic block, others that fall into loosely allied teams, both monitored by the Bureau. The Block sees itself as above ordinary people, the Teams as simply outside them; both are, in their own ways, selfish. The Block sees people as a herd to be manipulated and plucked; the Teams are self-absorbed in their fate, almost 'Goth' if you will.

The Block wants to either recruit or stymie Daphne; Daphne would rather join a Team or start her own Team. Blake (now a full-fledged agent of the Bureau) wants to recruit her for the Department; the first 'Talent' to be so recruited?

Hospitals, churches, and schools are off limits, neutral grounds for the Reals. An old pact, or are Talents warped and unchancy there, or both, one consequent on the other?

The ring a focus, a kind of mental crutch. Not a source of power by itself.

Blake Martin would be about 28 now. Possibly Daphne is attracted to him? Some tension there.

Daphne could be Delphine: Dolphin, Delphi, delphinium (a bluebell-like flower).

“The Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose." ― J.B.S. Haldane, Possible Worlds

Opinari Potest Mirabilius = stranger than we can suppose

Byron - logical abstainer, too outside for the outsiders

Cal - pragmatic gal, lantern jaw, frizzy hair

Albert - bulky, brainy, manliness enthusiast

ABC Squad

 

278. SEPTEMBER 18, 2016 (The end of the original dream)

THE DAY DAPHNE DISAPPEARS

Daphne turns to the thugs and delivers an ultimatum. "Now listen to this and listen good." She then delivers the speech in some weird language (Klingon? Vulcan?). The scene shifts. She has come aboard the Enterprise. She has disguised herself as a bounty hunter, let them arrest her and take her on board, to get on the ship. Now she intends to say she's reformed and to join the crew. One of her friends who has followed her says "With your shape-shifting powers, we could rule the galaxy." Daphne says, "No, I want to do this." By which I guess she means she legitimately wants to be part of the crew.

 

Notes to the Notes

So here are the original Notes to ‘The Day Delphine Disappeared’, originally titled ‘The Day Daphne Disappears.’ Included is the end of the dream that inspired it, where it descends into various absurdities.  The Notes written after the dream show me gradually developing it into the story it would become. You can watch it being adapted into a Bureau of Shadows story.

I thought about it becoming the first chapter of an entire novel and had vague ideas about the shape that it would take. After a few episodes ‘on the road’ Delphine would reach the Bureau, where she would be enlisted into a battle against the Block. After her powers develop and grow, that threat was defeated and she was revealed as the most powerful talent ever recorded, she would disappear again, this time from the Bureau, to follow her own path.

Why did I change ‘Daphne’ to ‘Delphine’? Maybe Daphne was too ‘Scooby Doo’. And Disappears became Disappeared. Wow, 2016. I think that was before I was even keeping a serious diary. Years later I though that other next generation Bureau of Shadows characters like Bazzel Butzehauser (Brother Silas, J.A.B.S.) and Cassie (A Friend You Haven’t Met) as well as Henry Byrd (Lovett’s Last Task), the Head of the Bureau, could all be part of the tale.

Mr. Gatti’s became fictionalized into Mr. Chezzi’s (i. e., Mr Cheesy’s). Man, do I miss the buffet. I still dream about working there; in fact, I did last night, probably brought on by reviewing this story. This time it was much more pleasant than it usually is. The skull ring is actually based on a purple plastic skull ring we've had for years, probably some kind of party favor. 

Friday Fiction: Thrand (Part 20, Notes and Outline)

Gawnich (the highly placed Morg magistrate from the beginning of the story, one of the Lord Chief Justice’s seconds-in-command and likely to be his successor) meets with Thrand to put forth his candidate to be the next King. This is the Morg Krod, a dull but worthy fellow, a merchant from a noble House, rich but ostentatiously honest in his dealings, given to flashy charitable works and supporting public projects. Gawnich happens to know he would be acceptable to a large swath of Morgish interests.

Krod has also, as Thrand finds after a little gentle but stern prompting, obtained Gawnich as his advocate through a sizable … ahem … retainer. Nothing particularly wrong with that; Thrand even appreciates Gawnich’s forthrightness in admitting it when it comes down to it. It even stands in Krod’s favor somehow in Thrand’s estimation; that he could win the support of someone as basically honest as Gawnich. Which honesty Thrand knows personally; if there was anything really wrong with Krod he could never had won Gawnich’s support, no matter how much he offered.

Thrand explains this to Kettil after he has sent Gawnich off with hope in his heart and a bug in his ear. The young apprentice still finds it somewhat shady, pointing out that Gawnich would then also have the support of the next King should Krod be chosen, and that would give him some clout when Thrand passes away and his successor must be nominated. Even so, the old Morg finds nothing outright objectionable in the suggestion.

Besides, the pressure is building for Thrand to make his decision. The City is growing restless and business is starting to back up. Nothing really wrong just yet, but everyone wants this period of uncertainty to be over. It’s making them nervous, not having anyone to trust (or to blame) for the welfare of the kingdom. Rumors are spreading (prompted by what or who, no one is sure) that the Ogres are planning to take advantage of the interregnum to mount a surprise attack. When will the Lord Chief Justice make his decision? Anyone would be better than no-one, the grumble goes. The Autumn Festival is fast approaching, and it cannot be celebrated with any easiness without the business being settled and a King securely in charge.

Thrand knows he has to make a judgement, and soon.

(Notes to the Notes: I really have to go back and solidify what Thrand’s title is exactly. Lord Chief Justice? Lord High Justice? Lord High Judge? High Justice? That’s what he was in Part One, almost two years ago. At this point I can’t remember what I had settled on. And we’ve come around to the Autumn Festival again. Have to check what time of the year this story started; of course the coronation of the new King doesn’t have to happen at the Festival, just be accomplished by then. Let's see if I can be finished - in some sense of the word - with the tale started August 2023. When I woke up at 2:30 AM this morning I had no idea what this next section would be about. All I knew was that I wanted to bring Gawnich back from the beginning of the story. I even vaguely thought this would be the end. But that's apparently next week.)

Friday Fiction: Thrand Again, at Last? Really?

 Thrand (Part 18, Outline and Notes)

Well, back to Thrand after about ten months (since August 30, 2024, to be exact). No real writing, but more notes and outlines for the next part of the story. I otherwise haven’t done a whole lot of thinking about it since. Why? I really couldn’t say. Perhaps I’ll fill it out (and Part 17) soon, into a true draft. I have a vague ambition of having it complete (at least a first draft) by my birthday at the end of July.

6/20/25: Kettle’s reading is going well, better than Old Okt, who did most of his reading with his finger, but who had an uncanny ability to find the justice in any matter. His decisions were never overturned, even when challenged by petty technical pleas, pleas never found valid by other better-read justices.

Two weeks pass, with Thrand dealing with several formal applications, as well as informal ones, backstair encounters as it were, of dark horses floating test balloons. These tend to get dismissed out of hand. Improperly formulated, if not downright ridiculous.

But Thrand keeps a memorandum of every ‘candidate’, with pros and cons of each one. He runs them over aloud with Kettle to get them straight in his head and to see what Kettle has to say about them. The notes, written up, will go into the State Archives, for the record. Thrand is doing well, losing weight under Kettle’s watchful eye, but he doesn’t yet feel better, his mind halfway distracted keeping his will power up.

Thrand is getting tired of the whole affair. He wishes that Roth did want to be King: that would have been most unobjectionable. The other Morgs in consideration are not especially outstanding; there might even be one from the House of Keth. They would not make great kings, but then it is simply an executive office. Thrand is kind of hoping that his last act as ‘king-maker’ will be remembered as a fine decision; he doesn’t want to ‘go out’ on a fizzle.

Then there is Prince Trallin to be considered. As a human he is still rather problematic. But he is the son of Taryn, who was very popular. There are several ‘human’ factions among the Morgs who do support him. Thrand is rather leaning towards him, except for one enigmatic encounter that troubles him.

It takes place in the water-rooms in the palace, a random encounter. Thrand is using the facilities when suddenly Prince Varnik comes in. He seems startled to see the judge, but after some hesitation approaches him.

He tells Thrand about his doubts about Trallin and Queen Innia’s plotting. Trallin does not seem to really care much about the welfare of the kingdom, just about being king, backed up by the fact that Innia was a princess in Metarlin, and that her brother (now King there) has no heir. Their ambition is to rule both in Forlan and Metarlin, an empire. This troubles Varnik; he worries about Morg City’s welfare under such selfish motivation. He’d much rather the family fall into the background, or even simply go to Metarlin, a ‘home’ he’s only visited a couple of times in the past.

THE ELDERLY PRINCESS PROJECT

 

I. The Original Idea: December 1, 2016

     a) This is the story of two sisters. The older is a fabulous, thin spendthrift who has become Queen. The younger has lived in the shadows, and because of this has had a chance to develop into a better person.

     b) The Elderly Princess has learned to cook for herself and thus weighs more, but her digestion is better than the Queen's because of it. She is kind to animals, whereas the Queen is always wrecking her new horses, hunting, and using pets as accessories. The Elderly Princess creates; the Queen consumes. The Elderly Princess has aged naturally into a beauty suitable for her; the Queen looks like a weird parody because she always thinks she has to look eighteen.

     c) Hard times have hit the kingdom, and the Queen must try to woo the aged King of another realm. He arrives with his Grandson (his heir apparent, who sorely needs a parent), and while the Queen tries to dazzle the King, the Grandson gets to know the Elderly Princess. She becomes sort of a surrogate mother to him, and he in turn, tries to alert the King to her as a better alternative. The King slowly becomes aware of the Elderly Princess's virtues.

     d) When the Queen realizes the developing situation, she goes nuts with jealousy, not because she likes the King, but because he prefers the Elderly Princess, and she needs the money. There is an exciting fracas, in which the sisters fall down and the Queen breaks her hip. The Elderly Princess, who has more meat on her bones, is fine. The Queen, chastened by her accident, realizes that her sister is the better person.

     e) The Aged King marries the Elderly Princess which helps her kingdom, the Grandson now has a motherly figure in his life, the Queen gains perspective, and the Elderly Princess gains a loving family and recognition for her personality.

 

II. Names for the Characters

     a) The Elderly Princess: Maude or Beatrice

     b) The Queen: Madelaine

     c) The Aged King:

     d) The Grandson:

 

III. Proposed Supporting Characters

     a) Animal sidekicks for the Princess

     b) An animated inanimate object

     c) A councillor for the Queen

     d) Castle servants/confidants/"crew"

     e) Some sort of attendant for the King and Grandson

 

IV. The Background

     a) The Queen has had her own "Disney princess" experience. (Become queen on her own or married then lost prince. Has learned nothing from it.)

     b) Is the King one of her former suitors?

     c) The Grandson's parental loss. (Parents dead? Or distanced by politics, ruling another kingdom?)

     d) The Princess's view of marriage. Never felt it necessary unless she met the right person. She sees what a good man the King is, and sees the Queen's mere machinations weaving around him. Through concern for King she begins to grow fond of him. Also she feels real duty to kingdom.

 

V. The Mis-en-Scene

     a) This is a lamp-shaded trope (or parody, if you will), as well as a story.

     b) The Queen keeps trying to have a Disney-Princess moment (might try to re-enact several stories).

     c) The Grandson tries to play matchmaker.

     d) The King has to learn to quit living in the past, to see things clearly, and re-evaluate his conceptions of beauty.

     e) The Princess has to overcome a certain fuddy-duddiness to realize a new kind of happiness is in reach.

 

VI. Schtick

     a) Once upon a time there were two beautiful princesses...(tell backstory)...and she was the most beautiful in all the land...(scream cut from young Queen to old Queen)...once upon a time.

     b) A song about gussying up and playing the game...ends with Princess rejecting it.