Diary 2020: May - The Beginning

5/1/2020: May Day, and the consecration of the nation to Mary. Up about 5 AM, prayers, Bible (a long reading, to the end of Revelation – about 6 or 7 chapters). Shower, open windows, cool morning. “The Night of the Iguana” is on; watched the first 20 minutes or so. Caught up diary. Contemplating another ‘march’ of writing. In between writing this morning I took some stuff to the bins, and the day was so sunny and clear and yet so cool and green, I was filled with joy and contentment. Wrote some more. Perry Mason (in color!) on right now.

And so the day wore on. Ramen for lunch. Wrote a little more. At supper I fried potatoes and made fish and waited on the kitchen porch for Susan to get home, which today of course took a long time (she went to the bank). Prayed Rosary while waiting. When she got here we decided what vegetable to make (Asian medley), then I went in [and waited] for Andy to get back so we could all eat together. We did, at about 6:40 PM. I went in again at about 9 PM to wash up. Read more Twain, then went to bed.

5/2/2020: Up about 5 AM and found that John had e-mailed me at about 2:30AM last night:

John: I can't decide if this [A Friend You Haven’t Met] is the craziest thing you've ever written or the most brilliant.  I do know that it is very fun and I'm damned interested in seeing where it's going, so I guess that tilts me towards the latter, I guess! Wild stuff! Keep it coming!

Went back to bed after writing a few notes about St. Helwig and a new character. Slept till almost 11 AM, mostly because I’m not sure about meals today. Got up, prayers, Bible (starting at Genesis again).

Did very close to nothing today, mostly because of having no food. Read Mark Twain. At 4 PM went to garage [refrigerator] and got some of those blah sausage patties and a jug of water. Boiled the patties, then used the sausage water to make rice. Sent John this e-mail:

I've been hag-ridden for a couple of weeks by the idea of embarking on making another book catalog. The last time I did this was actually ten years or so ago, and with acquisitions and sell-offs my actual book-hoard has changed, and to make a current and accurate assessment appeals to my mild OCD. 

There are several horrifying aspects to such as task that are both appealing and appalling. One is the necessity of disturbing my shelves; that would both clean things (appealing) and be physically exhausting (appalling).

And then I don't want to make it just a list. I want to write a short article on each book: approximately when I got it, why I got it, whether I ever actually read it and how deeply, my opinion, and then rate it as whether it is key or might be dispensed with in a pinch. Again, appealing and appalling. And then come up with a system to organize them in the catalog.

I could do it a book or two a day, or a series if they can be grouped. Eventually (what can it possibly be, probably not even 2000 days), I'll inevitably get to the end. It will give me another project, doable, to give structure to my days and fill time when I'm not creative.

Two things stand out against it. One, my naturally sluggish nature, and two, the logical feeling that it's a pointless endeavor.

Two things stand out for it. One, it's something I want to do, and two, it would amount to an aspect of my obsessive biographical analysis.

I can imagine you reading this, shrugging, and wondering what this has to do with you? If I want to do it, I will, and whether I do or not will have very little effect on your own concerns. Forgive me. I am basically airing out the idea, trying to make up my own mind, and running it by you, because I always respect your opinions and know you understand me better than anyone else.

I hope your own projects (in these trying times) are off to a good start.

 

And then sure enough I started doing it, with the Wildlife Encyclopedias as an example. 

Watched some Frank Herbert interviews on YT (meh). I was so bored I started to watch “Singin’ In the Rain”. Started to watch “Frankenstein” on Svengoolie, and that didn’t hold my interest.

About 9 PM I remembered to watch church services on YT, then at 9 PM said my daily rosary. Washed dishes. Never had the door or windows open all day, never saw a living person, never heard from anybody about anything. Is there anybody there? Does anybody care?

 

5/3/2020: Up about 6:10 AM, and the first thing I see is a notification that John has written back. His e-mail:

 I like the idea. I think that there is great value in taking each book and thinking about them - not just the personal value, but the intellectual value- as you can sift through the stories, memories, takeaways, relations to other books or movies, etc. I know I tend to look at a shelf of books as a collection of "relatives" - my animation books, my civil war books, etc., and then occasionally pull one out for Inspection and remember the time of our "affair "- when it was my read, and we were locked in that dream together for that duration.  Cataloging and reflecting on them kind of gives them the individual dignity they deserve and will probably bring back many personal moments in time, too. Especially the ones with chili noodle stains!

Prayers and Bible, then partook in the EWTN Mass. Then did revolutions in the front yard, while praying the Rosary. Now about 8:40 AM.

Wrote more Book Inventory (World Book stuff, mostly, and other sets). There is a Witchiepoo Funko Pop. New Rick and Morty tonight, after a marathon of the season so far. It’s almost 4 PM and I haven’t eaten anything, but I think they’re shopping now, so should bring me chicken salad, boiled eggs, and bananas in a while.

And so there were – not to mention grapes (very nice), grapefruit, and boxes of ramen. Made even more entries for the Inventory of Books (IB from now on), mostly multi-volume sets. Watched the not-very-good animation shows, then the marathon of Rick and Morty leading up to the new episode, which, to be honest, I didn’t find all that compelling on first viewing. Plus, all the commercials seemed aimed at stoners wanting fast food. The Simpsons (Warrin’ Priest Part Two) and parts of R&M betray the fact that where these writers think they know so much about religion, they actually understand very little at all. Now almost 11:20 PM. I’m still vacillating over walking to TX Cooler and getting lottery ticket; it’s gone up again! Kris Jerome replied to my e-mail of Wednesday April 29:

I often weave what I can remember of old “false-starts” into my current world, actually. The prologue to Wrath of the Fallen existed in my head and various other forms for about 5 or more years before I wrote the novel.

5/4/2020: Up about 7:30, a reluctant Monday morning, already warm outside. Prayers, Bible. Perry Mason (boring), so took a shower and got dressed. No lottery for me today, but I have until Wednesday to act.

At 9 AM started the wash, peeled Kam an apple, boiled eggs, and made chicken salad. What that salad really needs is tomato. Came in and started making my ramen. “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir” on right now; very good movie. I wouldn’t mind having a copy. [Don’t have one even now.]

"When you have regular business to attend to, your distractions are a pleasure. If your regular business goes away, suddenly your distractions become your business. Then you find you need a distraction from your regular distractions, which have somehow become your business, and are suddenly heavy duties." -Some Old Fart.

At lunch Andy brought me out some old bean, bacon and cheese tacos (with salsa verde). A little after 12 I set up the extension cord and I started the AC for the first time this year; it was already pretty hot outside. The batteries in the remote are dead; I need to get two AAA.

For some reason I was angry and bitter all day. I can’t really figure out why except I am bored and maybe caught it from being annoyed at the juvenile philosophy of the elderly Mark Twain that made him so miserable in his later years. A C. S. Lewis or a G.K.C. could have set him right, or even a George MacDonald, but he was set in the American mold where even the brand of religion he rebelled against had to be his own home-grown scalawags, and that they were what religion had to be. Anything else was high-falutin’ jibber-jabber; if he couldn’t comprehend delicate distinctions, it must be hogwash. Also. I’m probably finally getting restless under lockdown, and feeling my mortality with my ever more numbing right leg. It made me short with Kameron, who kept coming at me with a growing load of homework I need to ‘help’ him with.

For supper made broccoli salad, fish rings, and toasted pine-nut couscous. Rosary at 6 PM. All the usual Monday things apply. The only new amusement I have is watching “Dragonball Abridged” on YT, a hilarious parody. Bed about 11 PM, AC ginning along with that old smell they have of summers past after a winter of rest.

 

5/5/2020: Up about 5:40 AM. Prayers and Bible. Caught up Diary. Realized why I had done no writing yesterday; with the introduction of Cassie the cast is complete, and the story unreels itself to the end. That should be a reason to finish, though. It’s just that in a strange way, the story is ‘done’. I pledge that by Friday it’ll be over with, one way or another.

So the day went on. Helped Kam do his homework, which was a pain ( it was about comparative shopping), but I was feeling better when it was over with, so that’s good. Watched more Dragonball Abridged, to the end of the Cell Saga, so that’s a good place to leave it.

But instead I went back to the beginning and watched from there. At 3 PM grassed the dogs and started supper. It was a little windy and overcast and looked like it might rain. Made sausage and fried cabbage and taters. Ate and watched more DB Abridged. Went in at 7:05 PM, after they went for a walk, and washed up.

Andy asked me to sew his shirt at 8 PM, so I went in, did that, and made Kam his supper. While there I asked Susan her opinion of the risk if I went for a walk, and she thought it was low. So now I’ve touched that base. More DBA, then bed about 11 PM.

 

5/6/2020: Up about 6:15 AM, took aspirin, prayed, Bible. Decided that yes, I’m going to TX Cooler today, and get that bee out of my bonnet. Dressed, wrapped the Ace bandage around my mouth and nose, put my dollar in the shirt pocket, and off I went. Was halfway down the driveway when I realized I forgot the wipes I had secured, but there was no turning back.

In town they had finished installing those new walk signals. The beeping they make is pretty annoying. There were no people walking and few cars, which really isn’t that unusual for 7 AM in the morning. I walked briskly over to the TX Cooler, exchanged my dollar remotely for a TX Lotto, and walked briskly away. The only contact was my little finger to open the door on the way in; on the way out, I pushed it with my cane tip. Home again and back by 7:45 AM. Washed hands thoroughly and wiped down the cane handles. It was kind of normalizing to see the world again, even at such a barren hour.

I used to wonder, while reading H. G. Wells’ The Time Machine, if the human race could really be divided into careless, sunshine-loving idiots and cave-dwelling technophiles, but I’m beginning to see it.

Said Rosary. Had ramen for breakfast. Then a sandwich for lunch. Didn’t have to cook for Kam until about 2 PM, when I made him bacon and eggs. At 3 PM I started supper by boiling the rice (using less as per instruction) and getting out the chicken breasts to thaw in the microwave. There was no broccoli, so I used Asian medley. Put it all in the oven a little before 4 PM and around 5 PM it was done. Ate supper. Wrote a tidge [i.e., a smidgeon, a tad] on AFYHM, then caught up diary. I’m out of DBA now. Still reading Mark Twain.

 

5/7/2020: Up about 7 AM with Stan Lee and the Giant Snake dream. Prayers, Bible, shower. A nice cool morning. Didn’t win the lottery, but at least it’s out of my head for a while. New name for a bookstore: The Fiddling Cricket.

The day went: Ramen with egg and bread, ramen with bread, broccoli salad, chili with bread, finished WWF [Words With Friends], Mark Twain, grassing dogs, making Kameron taquitos and toast, rosary, DW shows, some House, book inventory, Rick and Morty, blah blah blah and so on. Wrote John an e-mail and got one back. Here:

Me: I went on a little trip of my own. Early Wednesday morning at about 7 AM I ventured out for a walk, the first time I've been off the property for nearly two months. I was swathed up with my Ace bandage over my mouth like the Invisible Man. I used a handi-wipe to open the door and went into Texas Cooler and used my last leftover dollar to purchase a TX Lotto ticket, which eventually turned out to be a complete dud. I passed no-one on the streets, touched nothing, and the store clerk was behind a new plexiglass shield. I washed my hands with another wipe after accepting the new-minted ticket with the tips of two fingers. It was a nice walk and showed me the world was still there.

 

You might well ask me why I would take a risk on such a frivolous endeavor. It was completely in self-defense, however. You might remember how Gandalf tells Denethor, "You are strong, and can still in some matters govern yourself,  yet ...  were [the Ring] buried beneath the roots of Mindolluin, still it would burn your mind away." That otherwise useless dollar and the astronomical chance it represented rose up like a ghost in front of anything I wanted to do and engendered vague dreams of power. Now it is gone, I'm reduced to absolute zero, and I'm sane again, and can focus on realities. So you see, Gollum just had to go.

 

I wonder if you get a chance, you could check and see if Kenny's reading of AGODP brought in any extra revenue; not so much as to supply me money right away as to see if there was any interest or new sales at all. Writing about this reminds me that it will soon be time for my visit to the doctor - how long ago setting that up seems! - and then will start my humble begging to the gummint for some monthly dole - no doubt even more unlikely "in times like these."

He: You never know! I am officially going on the Covid19 enhanced dole myself; tonight is my last regular shift, and then begins TWO MONTHS of paid furlough - no work -very decent weekly benefits, basically a free ride, staying employed, and giving the company a breather, hoping that the world will start spinning again,  at least back to somewhat decent levels to allow me to resume earning my daily bread. It is both terrifying, (if things don't pick up and I get the chop), and mind blowing - I haven't had a period of being out from under the yoke like this since I was 15! A man can do something in a span of time like that- God has granted that I get it, I must make it worth something bigger, if I can, to honor His blessing- I was in knots since the end of last week with worry and uncertainty - and everything finally came in to place yesterday evening.  Amazing! The road trip was just an afternoon jaunt on Sunday that Amy and I took to peek out into the wider world again.  I will certainly call you for full discuss and critique sessions - I can finally breathe again!

Perhaps now that his stuff is settled for a while he could pass me a few shekels (I could use them) but we’ll see come the doctor visit. Bed and AC about 10 PM.

Notes

So, early days of Covid, starting this blog, and getting SSI cranked up – the beginning of my New Style period of life, basically. Weird to think how things were ruled by such uncertainty at the time. Characters with prominent noses are not really designed for Funko Pop status.