2020 Diary: December Begins

12/1/2020: The first day of December. Got up at about 6:30 AM, after the usual multiple visits to the euphemism throughout the night. Prayers, Bible (Paul before Festus). Swept the house. It has occurred to me in the past few days that I no longer have any more particular food cravings that are driven by physical obsession, but just by a sort of ghostly habit. Don’t know if that’s tied to losing some of my taste after the mini-stroke or the somewhat Lenten phases of poverty that reigned in my indulgence or what, but even my obsession with getting books is somewhat tamed. Before if I’d gotten any amount of money, it would be off to the store or to Amazon; now I have more patience and prudence. I don’t go so far as to claim it is all my growing virtue, tempered as it is by circumstances, but I don’t feel as squirmy inside and am able to let things bide. Even tea has subsided into a mere pleasant interval. C. S. Lewis’s “purgatorial kitchen”?

Perhaps in an echo of that thought, I put on the Anthony Hopkins “Shadowlands”. At 9 AM I paused it and went to FD. I found the one good thing about wearing masks is that it keeps the tip of your nose warm. I gave FD a thorough search, buying paper towels, razors, and going through the DVD rack thoroughly, finding more good things than one might reasonably expect. I ended up buying a copy of “The Maltese Falcon”. Home at about 9:44 AM, and Andy came driving up. He had to take the plants out of the ‘gerridge’ (there was a freeze last night) for the exterminator to check/spray for termites. Left a bag of holiday pretzels on the wrecker for him as a surprise. Came in and ate a can of Wolf Brand chili, half with the rest of the chili Fritos and the other half with bread. Finished “Shadowlands” (still prefer the Joss Auckland) and started the Falcon. Now almost 11 AM.

On FB they had a yearbook page from 1979 with Mike on it, a picture that we do not have, that I blew up and snipped out, so now we do. Listened to the last two shows of GGACP today. Outside, the exterminators came and did stuff for the termites, drilling and burying little traps. I guess that drawer falling off after my cane bumped into it a week or so was providential; it alerted us to the problem. Weather today still cool, with clear bright skies. About 12:30 PM I went in and got a ramen and some donuts and made Kameron a couple of cheese spread sandwiches. At 3:30 PM I went in and started sausages and cabbage and taters. I brought the bin in, fed the pets, made the last cheese spread, emptied out the old pea salad, and generally ran around until my leg was sore. Finished cooking about 4:45 PM and came in. Posted on NOT. About 7 PM prayed rosary.

Went in at 8:15 PM to wash up. Just when I was done and ready to go in Kameron asked me to make him corn dogs and taquitos. Missed the first half of Green Acres, but no big loss. Came back and finished Typee and began Omoo. Then laid down to sleep.

 

12/2/2020: Up at around 4 AM, found I was awake, so ate Spam, some in a sandwich and a folded, some fried in the little pot. Afterwards read a bit then laid down again. Awoke again at 8 AM. Prayers and Bible, washed dishes and dressed, then hunted out the Christmas bins in preparation for holiday decorating. At 10 AM got a ramen and eggs (5 this time), ate at 10:30 AM, posted, and now listening to Michael Knowles. It’s now 11:15 AM. About 12:30 PM Kam called and asked me if I’d make him some bacon and eggs, which I did. Then about 2 PM I started baking the jalapeno cornbread, then the stew. I divided to pork roast into 3 and froze 2 portions. Kam and I watched Adam-12, and I ate stew at about 4:30 PM, then went in a little after 5 PM. Man, am I full! Rosary at 6:20 PM, and it’s getting pretty cold again.

Went in at 8 PM and washed up. Green Acres. Hit the hay soon thereafter.

 

12/3/2020: Up about 8 AM. Prayers, Bible. In at 9 AM to get ramen, which I supplemented with stew, a leftover sausage, and some cornbread. Spent the morning decorating the house for Christmas, which eventually included moving the furniture a bit. Watched “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir”. Susan brought me over another check. About 12:30 PM went in for more stew. At 4 PM went in to make supper (chili, corn on the cob, noodles) but I just got more stew. Laid down for a little nap and up again at 6:45 PM. The internet seems to be down. I feel restless, like I want to actually spend some of this money on something other than food. But how to get anywhere with this blasted coronavirus making riding the bus so problematic? I shall pray the rosary.

Plugged in the little heater, which still survives from at least Pop’s time. Went in and washed up, eating the last slice of cornbread and taking the last of the stew (which was pork roast, onions, carrots, and potatoes, for the historical record). Watched Green Acres and read a little Omoo then to sleep.

 

12/4/2020: Up at 5:45 AM. Prayers and Bible and got dressed. The little heater has staved off the worst chill of the night. I have pretty much determined to go to DG this morning; at least I have dressed for it. Will see what a jumble through their DVD bin might reveal. I seem to have been delivered from the urge for certain food lusts, even from soda; the few essays I have made in indulging them since the SSI started have not been satisfying. The difficulties of ‘booking’ that the plague and the death of Hastings has made has also put a damper on my spending lust. I have been made somewhat more virtuous by grim necessity. Let’s see how long that will last.

About 7:40 AM headed out, saying my rosary as I walked along. That’s another good thing about the mask; no one can see you mumbling as you walk along. Got to the store and had to wait for 5 minutes past 8AM; finally I had to knock. Searched the store but no DVD; walked home in time to wave to Susan as she left. I had Ritz chips, Cheez-its, can milk, and Knorr’s parmesan noodles. Made myself ramen and eggs. At about 10 PM I was preparing myself to go check out Funky Monkey when Kam dropped his latest school project on me, a Christmas tree made out of a folded magazine. He and I struggled through that till S&A came home with the news that Fred had come in that morning sneezing all over everything, planning to go in for a Covid-19 test, but not before blowing it up over everywhere. He came back, and yep, he has it! It’s been suggested that Kam and I keep some distance from S&A until they can be tested. We finished the tree project at 2 PM, after I dragged my sore legs down the hill to spray paint it white, which I had to do standing up. Then almost immediately at 2:30 PM I had to start frying the potatoes. We watched some Duck Tales and MST3K while we worked. Finished just about 5 PM, and I ate my fish and the noodles I had made. Kam went in. I am exhausted and full. For a while it looked like I wouldn’t be able to get into Blogger, but after rebooting my computer I could and posted on NOT. It’s now 7 PM. I intend to wash up at 8 PM. What’s my future to be? Must I stay home for a couple of weeks now? I could curse Fred’s laissez faire attitudes. Went in and washed up, had some leftover potatoes. Watched GA. Read some Omoo; it’s quite a different tale than Typee, being about life aboard ship so far. Bed about 10:30 PM?

 

12/5/2020: Up about 6:30 AM. Saw they had what I call the second-string Rankin/Bass specials on AMC: Jack Frost, The First Christmas Snow, Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey. Prayers and Bible. Afterward I had AMC on while I showered, dressed, and got the trash together to take out. I found I was tearing up while listening to the shows, sometimes about underlying messages, I guess, and sometimes about memories from the times when they were premiering. The weather outside is damp, rather cold, and gray. It’s now 8:12 AM and I’m making some ramen for breakfast.

Unfortunately, the used ‘potato oil’ I used to make the ramen with made me a little bilious. I laid down a while, listening to music, then felt a little better after an hour or so. I saw on FB that Ft. Davis (where John and Amy are) has snow! A little after 12 I went in and got a salad, three boiled eggs, and the rest of the cucumber salad. “Bell, Book, and Candle” is on TMC, and I watched the first 15 minutes or so, but don’t think I can handle a full viewing today. I thought maybe they’d take me to the bank, but S&A said nothing when I went in and in fact looked like they were getting ready to head out somewhere. Now almost 1 PM, and getting colder, I think.

When I went in again at about 5 PM they were working on sorting and cleaning all the Christmas stuff that had been in the gerridge, and whose boxes had been chewed up by the termites. They were also bringing some stuff in to decorate. I brought in the leftover chili and egg salad (most of which I flushed; if I gave it to the dogs, I fear what it would do to their poops, and the weather is too nasty to walk it out to the ditch). I put on “The Wind Rises”, having watched the Nostalgia Critic’s reviews of the Ghibli films for December. What a perfectly wasted day; I suppose, though, if I want things to happen, I have to get out and make them happen. It’s now 6:30 PM. Puttered around until 9 PM, reading Omoo, then went to sleep, too tired for a rosary.

 

12/6/2020: Awake at 4:40 AM, and simply awake, so I started the day. Prayers, Bible, and the rosary from yesterday. Showered and dressed and cleaned and straightened then lay down a bit. Up and out the door at 7:05 AM, with my glasses in my pocket so they wouldn’t steam up in the cold. Weather clear and warming. Another rosary before Mass, so I’m all caught up. Congregation a little scant today, but the RCIA class was there. Gave $6 for the collection, to make up what I missed last week, then put $20 in the “Feed My Sheep” bucket, then bought two copies of Fr. Stan’s book for $20. Headed over to FD, got some chips and dip, a bag of popcorn, a soda, some eggnog, and a DVD of “Duck Tales Woo Oo” which I watched then gave to Kam later. Took a nap at about 11 AM. Up at 1 PM and it was warm enough to open the house. About 4 PM I took an envelope over to the big house for Kaitlyn’s birthday. About 5 PM Kaitlyn arrived. There seemed to be no big reaction when I saw her and talked to her through the door, and Kam’s report on her reception of her card seemed rather cool. Kam and I watched about half of “Time Bandits” and I gave him some popcorn. The drear evening dawdles along. Watched some of the Sunday animations (meh). At 9 PM read some Omoo then turned in.

 

12/7/2020: Awoke at 1:30 AM from a dream about being in a prison, where I was under constant threat of violence and humiliation, but I was determined to raise the tone and cleanliness of it and earn some respect. Turned the computer music off; in the still of the night, it was too loud. I can see that part of the dream was influenced by Melville’s situation in Omoo, adapted to my own experiences (I was working in the prison kitchen), but I found it depressingly emblematic of my own history. How shall I proceed now? Try to sleep, or what? Can I sleep? Daybreak is far away.

I did eventually fall asleep and woke again at 7:30 AM. Prayers and Bible. Depressing news about Walter Hooper, CSL’s secretary at the end of his life and preserver and collector of so much of Lewis’s work, had died. Went in at 9 AM and started wash, boiled 4 eggs, and made egg salad. Ramen and eggs for breakfast. Went out to change the wash about 10:15 AM, and the gate bolt, which had been threatening for days, fell off. I managed to prop it up, but when the pool man came over about 12:15 PM, of course it fell off. It was going to anyway, but I thought it was best if they didn’t think it had happened on my watch and be more forgiving if it happened to Dan. Weaselly I know, but perhaps best all around. After they left, I made Kameron a couple of grilled cheeses and broccoli salad and changed loads (the wash was big enough for two loads this week) but I forgot to start the dryer (found out later). Reading Omoo, listening to GGACP. At 4 PM went in, fed pets (cut my finger on cat food can – punishment? Do I subconsciously punish myself?), grassed Ginger, made fish cakes and parmesan couscous, then came in and made my couscous with ramen. Read some more Omoo then laid down to nap. Up at about 7:10 PM and caught up diary. Felt a little tired and achy all day. Getting sick, or just tired?

I was about halfway through Green Acres when Susan comes knocking at my door, asking me to call Andy and tell him to come home. Apparently, he had let Ginger out even before I went in and forgotten her, and she had disappeared into the night. He had driven off to look around the neighborhood and Susan had been searching for her on the grounds. She heard Ginger whining down at the bottom of the yard by the creek. How had she wandered off so far! Also, she had toppled into a mud hole. They brought her in and bathed her, and I came in to make Kam some corndogs and heard the whole tale. All done, I bade everyone good night, washed my own dishes, and settled down to read more Omoo. It’s 9:47 PM now, and I really should pray my rosary, then I imagine bed.