Thursday, June 27, 2024

Five Years Agone: 2019 Diary

The Hero of the Story

6/26/2019: Up at 5 AM, ready to start the day. A trip to DG is on the agenda later this morning.

Let me describe a typical summer morning right now. Whenever I get up (usually pretty early), the first thing is a trip to the bathroom. Then I take an aspirin with a gulp of tea. I might do a quick run through the TV channels, not to really watch anything  but to see if anything is on that will help me ‘float along’, carried by the force of its narrative and the awareness of time passing as its story unfolds. Or a quick run through my usual computer sites. After (or sometimes before, if there is nothing compelling on the air waves) I say my morning prayers, read 2 chapters in the Bible, and say a rosary if I feel up to it (I ‘tell my beads’ sometime later in the day, if not). I record any dreams that stick with me, then update my diary. I get dressed, after a night usually skinned down to my underwear. There is no set order to these activities (except the bathroom visit); they occur as I feel up to them.

At 9 AM when Susan leaves, I go in to get a cup of noodles and a pack of ramen and two slices of bread to make my morning meal. Usually, I’ve gone back in the house to boil my noodles when Kameron calls me to grass the dogs and make his breakfast, which can be scrambled eggs, French toast, pancakes, or a combo of these elements. After I finish making his meal and cleaning up, I can continue with my own. It’s after 10 AM when I can finally do so.

In the morning hours, if I feel so inspired, I can get some writing done before I run out of ‘juice’ for the day. But more often I watch Boston Legal (when it’s on) or podcasts or just play Words With Friends or other time fillers, or even nap if I woke up particularly early. By 1 PM it’s time to make lunch (2 packs of ramen, sans bread), and if it’s a Monday make the weekly salad about 2 PM. At 4 PM it’s time to grass dogs again and start supper; by 5 PM take my share and come back to the guest house; by 8 PM go in, clear away supper, and wash dishes. I try to sneak in some writing past watchful dragons at various times of the day, more and more as the story progress. If it’s close to a Friday ‘payday’ I may pour on more serious sessions, in order to earn John’s much needed $20 for the weekend. Otherwise, if it’s right at the end of the story, I really give it all I’ve got, carried on by the momentum and the urge to cross the finish line. I typically do this last burst of effort in one day, that can last for up to 10 hours or more and can produce fifteen pages or so.

I lay down at 10 PM (and this is every day) and try to get to sleep, reading, or if there is something good on, watching TV. I get up during the night every two hours or so for urination, until sometime in the morning (4-6 AM) I decide I’m awake for the day, and the cycle starts all over again. Oh, and when I write down times in my diary, all times are general unless written down specifically.

Now, today I’m going to head for D(ollar) G(eneral) about 7:30 AM. I need soap and artificial sweetener for sure. I want to pick up a Texas Lotto at the convenience store. Most hold back $10 for Stewart family spaghetti dinner on Sunday. But I do feel I must get at least one indulgent item, if only to sellybrate the proofs going on.

Finished Bible, prayers, and rosary at 7 AM. Am now loaded up and ready to head for DG at 7:30 AM, and not a moment before, as I have no desire to have to wait around much for the store to open. Cloudy right now, with thunderstorms predicted for the afternoon.

I left about 7:40 AM, and met Andy on his way in. Said he'd been mouthed by a raccoon this morning (didn’t break the skin) but they’re getting so bold they’ll have to be trapped and removed. Walked to town and there was a homeless man sitting to the side of DG when I went to get a lottery ticket at Lone Star. Then, even though it was past 8 AM, had to wait a few minutes for them to open DG. Did my shopping (still no corn chips!); got 4 boxes of pasta salad mix, a bottle of DG Ranch, 5-pack of ramen, artificial sweetener, soap, two cans of cheese Pringles, and an apple pie. When I left and went to sit and repack at my usual seat the beggar passed me again on his way into town. Although he took another way, we crossed paths in the park. Three times is fate, so I gave him a dollar for Jesus’ sake and went on home.

Once home I ate the pie and started on the chips. Then Kam called me, and it was grass dogs [let them out to relieve themselves] and make French toast AND a pancake. We hung out together and watched the last half of Diabolik MST3K, and D(ragon)Q(uest)8 Longplay. He went in when S&A were here for lunch at noon. I took a nap until about 3 PM. Grassed dogs and started supper at 4 PM. Salmon patties and couscous. I took my couscous and added a ramen (I hadn’t had a formal lunch, because I had eaten both tubes of Pringles as well as the pie and ramen!). John was hinting at the dedication, what I’d already settled on for him, but I teased him about it a bit.

Didn’t do a darn thing all evening but watch DQ8.Went in at 8 PM to clear up; Andy hadn’t eaten because he was hauling cars all evening, but Susan put his food on a plate in the microwave. Checked TX Lotto at 11:30 PM, but no go again. Didn’t rain much either; nothing like the promised thunderstorms in the weather report. Tried to settle me down, but here it is 1:30 AM and I’m still awake. Listening to TV music channels to stun my mind to sleep.

 

6/27/2019: It was just a typical day. Calculated that if I got all the books and DVDs on my wish list it would cost about $12,000, and that’s not counting shipping (and about $2000 of that was for rare out of print volumes). I did tell Susan about the spaghetti dinner on Sunday, and she’s seeing if Fred might spring for that for 4 plates or so. Rosary at 10 PM. Late evening started to watch the English Dragon Quest 11 Longplay.

 

6/28/2019: A typical Friday, but with a few chips and some deer sausage and a cheese sandwich for lunch, which was a bit of a departure. Having freed myself from watching DQ8, I now enslaved myself to watching DQ11, which now has an English version. Bible and prayers in the morning, rosary at 19 PM, brought S’s latest packages in in the morning, Kam joined me most of the day. He fell asleep at 4 PM and wouldn’t get up till 7 PM, and then went in the house when I went out to throw the old cabbage away. Not a jot of writing done all day and no e-mail from John yesterday or today. It unexpectedly rained in the evening, with thunder, after a clear blue day all day. Went to bed about midnight.

 

6/29/2019: Got up 5:30 AM after interesting dreams and morning thoughts that vanished away as I got up. I should really visit my mind someday; it must be a fascinating place. What I call me appears to be a little skittering spot that during my waking hours runs from room to room, not really looking around itself but trying to get business done; or like a drop of water dashing around on top of a hot skillet. During the day, the mind seems kind of hypnotized by the world around it; at night while it dreams it seems just as accepting as what it’s presented there. Perhaps the trick while awake as well as when you’re asleep is to keep being aware of your own power and free will instead of slumping into acceptance and going with the flow. Not to say that it is magical (like Laura Ridings believed) and can affect reality other than yourself, but closer to what Colin Wilson has speculated about the more integrated alert self. The difference between hoping the elves will come in the night and straighten up or that you’ll win the lottery, and actually doing something that will help bring the hoped for change about. I say this under the influence of my renewed morning dose of “brain juice”, the rejuvenated creative and thinking power that flows most freely in the morning, though not only in the morning; I only seem to have so much of it in a day to use, and a lot of non-creative stuff can fritter it away. How will I use it today?

Andy brought over $20 for spaghetti plates tomorrow and some leftover taco salad with chicken about 5:30 PM. I did manage to write a page of JABS at 10:30 PM. I must try to get to bed not too long after midnight now, but I feel dreadfully awake.

 

6/30/2019: Last day of June. Some rain and thunder last night, and possibly throughout the day; just when I’m walking later in the morning, for once! Woke up about 5:30 AM. Showered, dressed, prayed, Bible, rosary. Connectivity poor as I try to look at my usual sites. I did manage to write one page: Bazz meets Stella. I’m going to leave about 9:20 AM, weather permitting; that’s kind of early for a 10:15 Mass but it’ll give me some leeway in walking time and time to sit and pray, not to mention good pew pickings!

The weather was very good: cool, cloudy. On my walk over I passed several old friends: a bat that’s been drying up on the sidewalk next to the Wells-Fargo Bank since before my baptism and some full cartridges in the old cable car tracks between that bank and Starcke’s furniture. Today Ginger led the rosary and I saw many of my old RCIA mates, including the other Amy and the other Mike and his Wife and the older lady [Joanna] – my goodness, I’m forgetting their names already. After mass went over and picked up the spaghetti dinners; saw Mike Stewart and family. I had luckily supplied myself with a bag to carry S&A’s plates home, as they didn’t have any there. I ate mine on site. Walked home, put plates in fridge. I had forgotten to turn my phone up again, though, and A came out at about 1 PM to check on me; apparently Kam had been trying to call me all morning. Did nothing all day but watched DQ11 on YouTube until 11:30 PM. Tomorrow it’s July, with all that entails; I must really work on buckling down and progressing, as I was doing with cleaning the house. If I do nothing, I’m going backwards; tomorrow I must apply myself to projects. Remember stupid joke I told Fr. Greg. [What was it? – 2024]

 

7/1/2019: The first day of July, the long month of heat and birthdays. Woke up at about 5:30 AM, almost the first thing I did was start a project of 25 Haiku, autobiographical in nature, one a day leading up to my birthday, in which I hope to encapsulate my life experience so far. After I finish BAPS [which I never have] I really must take a break over the rest of July and take the time to really work on thinking combined with some real organization. Projects: Scrapbook my scraps, at least in some order; organize my papers, both writing and drawing; maybe organize the Family Files of photos, etc.; get the ‘attic’ sorted out; see about new clothes, shoes, belt. Always much to do, not all of it necessary or compelling, but it would be nice to have it done. Watched some of “For the Love of Spock” on Netflix. On to Bible, prayers, and Rosary. Think about how I present myself. Be upbeat or be beat up.

By 11:10 AM I had finished my morning devotions, made Kam French toast, started my wash, grassed the dogs, got in the daily cookie jar packages from the mailman,  listened to GGACP[Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast], changed the wash, and written a page on JABS and four haiku. Feeling a little sleepy but will make Kam lunch and prepare broccoli salad at 1 PM.

All right! A&S came by early, and between 12 noon and 1:30 PM I managed to write another haiku [Never did manage 25; what I did has now been posted here on Niche of Time], make Kam biscuits, prepare the broccoli salad, and finish my wash. The big projects of the day are fulfilled. Everything else done is gravy.

Went in and grassed dogs and started supper at 4 PM. Went in at 5 PM. Washed dishes at 8 PM and Susan cautioned me about the frying smells from the French toast. Outside, it’s getting cloudy again; we have rain scheduled for tomorrow. Watched documentaries on C. S. Lewis and Pamela Travers. Played much WWF. At 9:40 PM got this Messenger message from Kris Jerome:

The e-book [of A Grave on Deacon's Peak] is finished, and the print files are at the printer. Once they sign off on the formatting proofs will get sent out.

(I wrote: Oh, my. I’m started to get excited again!)

I’m excited too! Once I have proofs in hand, I’ll send pictures (and then the physical copies). If everything goes well it will be out by your birthday!

Sorry it’s been such a long process. Next time it will go faster.

I wrote back: Well, NOW how I supposed to get to sleep? With many smiley face icons.

Called John and told him the news. They are on vacation to Carlsbad Caverns.

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