Friday Fiction: Four Conceptual Fragments

HEART-OF-FIRE

 

SCENE ONE: The Port. GALEN's ship pulling out. He is hailed by other ship's captain.

OTHER CAPTAIN: Ahoy! Good shoals by the North Reef today!

GALEN: We're headed for deep water, and the torben.

OTHER CAPTAIN: You're mad! They'll tear you to pieces one day.

GALEN: Maybe. The city needs oil and they pay well. More for one torben than a full hold of shivsprats.

OTHER CAPTAIN: Gods help you, Captain Galen.

[Galen laughs.]

 

SCENE TWO: The ship, heading out of the bay. Roth at wheel. GALEN taking readings on astrolabe.

GALEN: Two degrees south, Roth.

ROTH: Aye, Captain. Sure is easier these days with the lighthouse.

GALEN: Yes. (Checks new heading through astrolabe.) Hello. (Through the astrolabe he has spotted a young girl at one of the lighthouse windows.)

ROTH: What is it?

GALEN: I think it must be the old man's daughter.

ROTH: Really? What's she like?

GALEN: Rather nice, actually. (She goes from the window and disappears. Galen lowers the astrolabe.)

ROTH: It must be creepy living all alone up there with that old magician.

GALEN: I keep telling you, Roth, there's nothing magical about it. He's just a clever man who has built the city a very useful building for almost nothing...

ROTH: Aye, nothing except to live in it like it was his own private palace. Gods know what he gets up to in there.

GALEN: Bah!

ROTH: Did you ever think he can see everything that goes on in the city from up there? Sometimes at night I get the shivers thinking about it.

GALEN: You Morgs have a superstitious streak, that's all.

ROTH: Think about it, Galen. Who knows what the old devil might be planning right now?

GALEN: Well, right now the only plans I'm worried about are our plans to catch torben. So keep your mind off magic and your eyes peeled.

ROTH: Aye-aye, sir.

 

SCENE THREE: Inside the lighthouse. It is full of the organized clutter of a natural philosopher. The girl, MIRA, is turning away from the window and walking to the table where her father, GROKYN, is sitting, working on something we cannot see.

MIRA: Are you sure that now is the right time to ask the city council, Father?

GROKYN: We must strike while their gratitude is fresh, my daughter.

MIRA: You have only just gained their confidence. I'm afraid that this idea might be too daring for them.

GROKYN: We stand in the proof of their faith in my ideas.

MIRA: Yes, in this one. A lighthouse to guide the ships, that is very practical and here-and-now. But this mission...this quest...the council can be very dour and grim. They have no vision.

GROKYN: (Lifting an orb shimmering with a wondrous glow from the clutter of his table.) Then I must show them mine.

 

[SCENE FOUR: Mainly action. GALEN and ROTH sight a torben, a kind of armored whale, and begin pursuit.]

 

SCENE FIVE: The Worthin city council room. It is a five-tiered, circular room, with high windows at the top and at the front a two-tiered dias, the highest part of which is the Judge's Seat; below that are the seats of the Defender and the Adversary. Facing them is the door of the chamber and two benches for supplicants.

     Scattered in the tiers are a few citizens of Worthin, a couple of farmers, an old lady knitting, a few idlers, and one very intense concerned citizen. On the lowest tier are GROKYN and MIRA, awaiting their hearing.

     In the Judge's Seat is ARZENATH, an elderly Morg lady, common but shrewd. In the Adversary's Bench is WALNIVAR, a quiet, urbane man; in the Defender's Bench is RUMBOG, a large middle-aged man, somewhat louder in all respects than WALNIVAR. Before them are two parties, hearing the judgement on their case.

ARZENATH: ...and shall be paid six weeks wages, as had been agreed. And Korzah, if I have you before me again for cheating your folk out of their lawful pay, you'll be fined the equal amount, do you understand?

(KORZAH grumbles something low and his EMPLOYEE beams his thanks. They turn and go out the great door. GROKYN and MIRA stand up, preparing for their case.)

ARZENATH: Very well, next on our agenda is (checks scroll before her) Master Grokyn and his daughter Mira, to propose a new project for the betterment of Worthin. You will all remember Master Grokyn as the architect of the new lighthouse, I believe. You may come forward.

GROKYN: Thank you, Your Honor Arzenath. I come before you today to unfold a plan that...

WALNIVAR: Your Honor, if I may make so bold as to point out that Master Grokyn has not provided any notes or outlines to either Defender Rumbog or myself, as is the usual procedure? It will be hard to defend or criticize this plan, whatever it is, on the spur of the moment.

ARZENATH: Thank you, Walnivar. The point is taken. Grokyn, why is this?

GROKYN: Your Honor, what I have to propose is unusual and, may I say it, unprecedented. I do not think it will be settled on the spur of the moment, but only after a great deal of explaining and debate. Its merits and its flaws will be immediately manifest; I believe, and I hope this court will find, that its merits outweigh any flaw it might have.

 

[And there the story stands. It evolved from--or perhaps into--a story called Upriver, notes for which exist, mainly on names. It involves Grokyn's plan to use a new semi-magical engine to power a ship up a great, mysterious river, and open new lands and trade. Galen and Roth, of course, are pilot and crew, with Mira as Galen's love interest. Two passengers, the cute but deadly KORYTH and KAIRIS, are rescued along the way and join the crew. A subplot is Galen's search for the mysterious DELVER, who vanished up the river long ago. His father? A mentor? I've forgotten by this point. Names, places, and persons recycled for this tale--Grokyn, Roth, Worthin, Arzenath, Walnivar.] 

ONE LAST FILM CAPER 

     Background: Ten years ago there was a moderately popular TV show called The Talisman of the King (TOK). The premise of the show was a king returning from exile to his kingdom reclaims it and brings it back to order with the help of a magic talisman and a band of faithful companions.

KING MARCUS was wise, just, and when the occasion called for it, a skilled fighter.

SIR ALEXANDER, his chief knight, was younger, passionate, and a fierce fighter, thinking more with his body than his head.

QUEEN ZENOBIA was beautiful, adventurous, and spirited.

MASTER NICODEMUS was an enchanter, expert on all magical lore.

YOUNG SQUIRE KENNETH (who appeared only in the first two seasons) was an enthusiastic lad who idolized those above him and aspired to great deeds.

THE TALISMAN OF THE KING was a mystical, sacred pendant that King Marcus wears and by which he pursues his goals. A combination deus ex machina and McGuffin, it is sought and desired by many of his enemies.

     The show ran for seven seasons, and now constantly runs in syndication, often in the wee hours of the morning.

     The actors: In the real world, King Marcus was played by PS [yes, that PS], an expatriate British actor. Not as highly regarded in the UK as he came to be in the USA. Has a casual contempt for the show. Has inflated acting ambitions. Has "the golden voice," which can persuade anyone to do anything.

     Sir Alexander was played by JW, an actor noted more for his physique than his talent. Ten years after the show it is not as spectacular as it was. (Possible gag: throughout the movie he is sensitive about it and won't remove his shirt. When he finally does we see it's still good, but not up to his exacting standards.)

     Queen Zenobia was played by LV, originally as a bit of tail and a hostage, but developing later on into something of a feminist heroine. She has real acting talent that has seldom been allowed to stretch.

     Master Nicodemus was played by AR. On screen he has a very magisterial presence. Off screen he is a great poof. Forced by the studio to keep a low profile while the show ran in deference to the younger part of the audience and their parents, he has since become an outspoken advocate for gay rights.

     Young Kenneth was played by KB [Yes, that KB]. His main role was to give the young audience a focus and a pattern for behavior. Whenever he said "I'll always be loyal to you, my lord," it was hoped it would be transferred to the show. KB was an innocent in a cage full of egotistical wolves. He is now more cynical but teeters on the brink of hope and is almost completely broke.

     After the show ended, PS formed a production company with the remaining actors. They have made three big flops and are near the end of the money. PS decides the only thing to do is make a quick cheapie film to exploit the continuing popularity of TOK.

     CG is a memorabilia store owner and TOK's biggest fan. KB has been pawning stuff to him for years. CG now owns the world's largest collection of TOK costumes and props. An amateur FX specialist, along with two associates.

 

The Story of the Movie:

     PS comes to KB to get him aboard for the film. KB, at the end of his rope, agrees. He enlists CG and his pals to supply props and effects, but CG has ulterior motives. He wants to get his hands on the Talisman as the ultimate TOK collectible, which PS has always retained. CG tries to subvert KB to this end.

     KB goes to PS's mansion which will be the center of operations. There the other actors gather, and PS explains the money situation and his plan for a quickie movie to remedy it. Other actors still supercilious to KB.

     The Movie Within the Movie's Plot: The enchanter goes mad, steals the Talisman, and steps through a magic portal. The king, queen, and champion follow, and they are all transported to our world and time (a great saving on locations and costuming). While the enchanter tries to find ways to take over our world, the other three must try to find him and survive in their new surroundings.

     They are helped by the squire. It turns out he was sent to our world in Episode 32 when it was thought that the Dark Duke had destroyed him. "It's sort of a fish-out-of-water comedy subplot." They finally find the enchanter, confront him, and the king uses the talisman to return him to his right mind. They all return except the squire, who decides to remain and help our world.

     The irony is that KB in now in somewhat the same position: he understands how ordinary people have to live in the real world and the actors have forgotten.

     The conflict is in KB's feelings about PS. PS, through his failures, is learning Lear-like lessons of humility and honor. He and KB grow closer and teach each other. However, KB has also promised CG to get the Talisman, and he owes CG a lot of money (he made the promise in exchange for a loan when he was still pissed off at PS).

     The end should be a great reconciliation, perhaps after reading the inscription on the back of the Talisman (revealed to be "Hope is the Greatest Magic"--written upside down in curvy letters). Happy ending: the movie makes a small profit and is 99th in a list of top 100.

NOTES:

Opening credits could be in collector's shop, showing action figures and comics and poster featuring each character as they are listed.

The Talisman of the King was originally the work of Guy Smithers, who wrote ten loosely connected stories for the 1930's pulps which were collected into one book and was published posthumously.

A GREEN GLASS BELL 

     Somewhere, deep in the woods, someone was playing a willow flute, the low husky notes carrying on the uneasy wind that trembled the new spring leaves. Young Tront stopped, surprised, on the road between the fields and the village, and looked vainly into the green dim under the trees, but could only see black trunks that seemed to float between deep undergrowth and thick canopy. He stood listening a moment as the wind shifted and the music faded farther and farther away and ended at the farthest limit of hearing with the shivering tinkle of a green glass bell.

     Tront leaned on his hoe and ran a hand through his thick blonde hair. He felt a chilling sweat on his forehead. I must be getting fanciful, he thought. A glass bell, certainly, but why a green glass bell? A green glass bell in a green wood. An empty wood, folks said, but apparently not. Tront shook his head to clear it of cobwebs. Some truant child, hiding, he decided, shouldering the hoe again. It was a moment before his distracted mind recollected which way he was going--home, for the evening meal--and with a backward glance or two he bent his reluctant steps toward the village again.

THE FOOL OF DOOM

 

1. Opening scenes establishing Fabulous World

2. Introduction of Samuel Balch [Jon Lovitz].

     A. In magic Classroom.

     B. With Wizardly Professor, who seems to belittle him.

3. Scene with Major Irony [Jeremy Irons].

     A. Who seems to be friendly.

     B. Says Balch from another world.

4. Scene where Irony sends Balch to Ordinary World.

5. Balch lands.

     A. At a bus stop.

     B. Wanders around.

6. Balch finds Alison [a real Fantasy fan].

     A. She takes him home.

     B. They become friends.

     C. He gains confidence.

7. They decide to return to Fabulous World.

     A. Balch fashions the spell.

8. They find the Fabulous World in flames and under attack.

9. Balch finds the Professor, who tells him:

     A. That Irony is trying to take over.

     B. That Irony got rid of Balch because he was the only one who could stop him.

10. Balch, Alison, and the Professor go to confront Irony

11. Balch somehow manages to defeat Irony (using some ordinary thing and by his very clumsiness - Irony can't plan for his chaos).

12. Happy Ever After.

 

[I remember writing more notes on this, probably lost in computer crash. Starring Jon Lovitz: "Fatter than Harry Potter! Balder than Gandalf!" "Master Irony!" "WHAT?!?!" "...hellooo..." and Jeremy Irons. Jeremy Irons: (in ordinary suit) "Where's my money?"]