Diary 2019: Seasons Change

9/21/2019: Up at 6 AM and wrote down 2 dreams. Fed Socks; he looks mankier than ever and is dropping clumps of fur. I'm afraid he can't have long, and what time he's got won't be pleasant for either of us. Today would be the best day for writing. I don't have to go anywhere and have plenty of food. I could finish the chapter. Let's see what happens. A rainy, even stormy day predicted.

So I showered, dressed, and did morning devotions (by which I mean prayers and reading the catechism), and opened the bathroom window and door. Swept house. Played WWF and watched Disney shows. Researched the lyrics for the Toymaker's Song in Disney's Babes in Toyland and finally after fifty years know what it says. At 10:30 AM I made ramen with crackers. It rained a bit. Socks is out in the house [by which I meant not penned up in the bathroom]; I noticed he had what looked like blood running out of his eye so I cleaned that up. For the first time in months, with the house open, I can smell the earth and trees, and really hear the crickets and birds. I just looked out the door at 11:15 AM and saw at least 4 hummingirds at the back porch feeder. I really do not feel like writing just yet. There is a tinge of mortality in the air, melancholy but not sad; for everything there is a season.

Noonish Andy came in and said I could have the rest of the chicken salad and the bananas. He was going to mow down in the bottomlands. I ate the chicken with crackers, then got Socks some more cat food. Kam called me to grass the dogs at 5 PM as S&A were off to see a movie.  Had 5 chicken planks and ramen for supper. Dipped in and out of "Logan", and "13 Ghosts" is on tonight. Finished my Rosary at 7:30 PM. No writing at all today, instead took it easy.

 

9/22/2019: Alarm rang at 6 AM, after a night at the Dream Wars; I set it again for 6:30, but got up at 6:20. Straightened the house, got dressed, and out the door by 7 AM, forgetting to cut my nails and write down a card for Gloria if she still wanted to get those shoes over. Went to church, and spent a little time worrying about if I should go to the restroom, but that never happened. A good service. I actually sang loud enough that I could hear my own voice, and didn't hide behind a pillar. Today is the harvest festival. Heard the news that the bell tower was struck by lightning during the storms, and, after being fixed for only 2 weeks, are out of order again. Hopefully it is only the electrical system, which can be fixed without too much trouble. Left out the front door today and shook hands with Fr. Greg. Found an L-wrench on the road on my way over. Got in and triumphantly went to the restroom without an accident. Today is also Bilbo and Frodo's Birthday.

Made my second box of stuffing and ate the rest of my chicken planks with creamy pepper sauce. A little after 12 noon Andy came around and said that Gloria was here. I gave her the candle[?] and took the bag of shoes (also some shirts). When I took them in I saw right away that the shoes were too small. A couple of the shirts look wearable.  Took a nap until almost 3 PM. What do I do with these shoes now? Maybe the shop near Dragons Loot.

This weekend is really going by fast. Just as I was finishing my ramen for supper (7 PM), Andy brings me out 2 leftover Whataburgers (about 1/3 of each) and 2 halves of Quizno sandwiches with about a bite taken out of each. Lovely, but I'm already a bit full. It was raining as well; I think he came out in the only 5 minutes it was actually raining today.

Today my pop culture intake consisted of The Nolstalgia Critic's comparison of The Ten Commandments vs. The Prince of Egypt, slices of Joseph: King of Dreams, Miriam Margoyles on The Graham Norton Show, Episode 1 of Vicious, Ben Shapiro Sunday Special with Kennedy (MTV). No football, no Emmy's. Laid down at about 9 PM, prayed my rosary, then off to sleep.

 

9/23/2019: Up at 6 AM, back from a bout of the Autumnal Dream Wars. Awoke with the idea that all my life I've been a skimmer, not really totally engaged with anything. Not writing, not faith, not any job, not seeking a mate. My life has been getting a meal in a comfy corner, diverting my attention, and basically waiting for it all to end while I play my life by ear. This is a dark, seasonal thought. I have made commitments enough to get a book published (but have you pushed it enough? comes the dark whisper) and join the Church (are you only going through the motions? the whisperer asks. Where are the big FEELINGS?) Shut up, I answer. I've got a Monday to face. There is much to do.

Got dressed, did my devotions, and at 9 AM started the wash; did another load after that of the shirts Gloria gave me. Made the chicken salad for S&A, then cut Kamerom apples. Listened to GGACP [Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcat]. At 10 AM went and got Kameron up and out the door. He gave me his bean, bacon, and cheese taco. At noon changed loads and had my ramen with the chicken broth and bread. Spent the afternoon with YouTube shows and turned on the AC at 1 PM. Made the broccoli salad and called S when I found there was no cheddar cheese.

Socks is looking VERY poorly and slow today, especially by evening. I fear he is on his way out. My right leg has been very painful today as well. At 4 I grassed the Chihuahuas and fed the outside cats, then made supper (salmon pinwheels and couscous). Took my couscous in and mixed it with ramen. Waited until almost 7 PM for S&A to get here with the cheese. Watched "Miss Hokusai" on Netflix. Went in and cleaned up at 8 PM. Put Socks up for the night and finished the movie. Part of today has been a memory quest about kochkaese, or 'cook cheese'. Time for a rosary, then bed.

But before I could go to bed, Socks died. He had been having a rickety evening laying on the couch; I noticed he had passed some liquid (peepee? drool? stomach stuff?) so I cleaned it up and moved him into the bathroom on a towel. While I was praying the Rosary (and during my first decade, which was with the intention - with the help of Sts. Francis and Gertrude - for, if not healing, and least an easeful passing for him) he made a little call. I went in the bathroom and he seemed to be going out. He had made one last poop on the towel. I cleaned it up and moved him and the towel into the shower. When I checked on him about 30 minutes later he was gone.