"A War By Other Means"

Whinfrey: What’s the game, Carne?

 

Carne: Oh, it’s not a game, Mr. Whinfrey. We’re trying to start a war. A war by other means, if you like. A war in which everyone gets a bit of territory and no-one gets hurt.

 

Whinfrey: Except the poor blighters who used to live here.

 

Mr. Girton: They are very happy …

 

Whinfrey: Well, where the hell are they?!

 

Mrs. Otway: In Germany.

 

Whinfrey: You captured them, I suppose?

 

Carne: No. We offered them a two-year inclusive holiday in the Bavarian Alps! They all accepted very happily. Oh, apart from the vicar. He chose Dortmund. He has a sister there.

 

Whinfrey: And you take their place over here.

 

Carne: Absolutely. We have a highly trained force waiting to move into England. Six hundred vicars, a thousand shepherds…

 

Mr. Girton: Two divisions of Cockneys.

 

Mrs. Otway: Forty-four judges, and a dozen eccentrics; eight hundred and fifty private nannies.

 

Whinfrey: And you expect to keep this a secret?

 

Carne: We have succeeded until now, Mr. Whinfrey.

 

Mrs. Otway: Until you came along.

-- "Whinfrey's Last Case", Ripping Yarns.

There seems to be some disagreement whether it should be 'Whinfrey' or 'Winfrey'; I've seen it spelled both ways, but I think 'Whinfrey' is correct.