Well, for the first time
since October 2020, we all gathered in Babeloth to view The Rings of Power
(I still refuse to add the title preface of The Lord of the Rings; it
still seems like a lie). I had studiously avoided watching any reviews of the
second season though I could not help but read the titles of such and observe …
a decidedly negative tone. Although three episodes of Season Two had been
released at one time, we had determined to watch one, at least, and then see
how it went. In the event, we ended up seeing all three.
This was not because they
were any better than Season One. It was more in the nature of finishing an
unpleasant meal all at once; no need dragging it out any longer than you have
to. There were fewer lulls and ‘setting up’ to be lingered over, so the
episodes passed rather quickly (only an hour or so each, anyway). All the
faults were already ‘baked in’ from Season One, and there were no surprises. We
no longer expected a worthy successor to Tolkien’s efforts nor would we wince
over every betrayal of lore or tone. We knew what we were getting, an even less
than mediocre D&D campaign. And that’s what we got.
They picked up all the
strands from Season One, with a preface showing some of Sauron’s backstory, how
he was betrayed by Adar and spent some little time reforming by absorbing
various life forms (shades of the Blob!). It follows him up to the very moment
he meets Galadriel afloat in the middle of the Great Sea. Once we finally
figure out what is going on (and when) and can adjust our frame of reference,
the story goes on.
I’m not going to go into any
great detail of what happens. We follow the Elves and what happens with the
Three Rings and how Sauron is keeping Elrond and Galadriel from telling
Celebrimbor who Halbrand/Sauron really is; in fact he takes a third form, Annatar
Lord of Gifts (“Yah, a little Clairol on the temples and a trim,” whispered the
observant dwarf [Gimlet, son of Groin] – Bored of the Rings), to further
lure the Elven-smith into making rings for the Dwarves and Men. Isildur wakes
up and tries to make his way to the Sea and a ride home, finding a
love-interest and the story strand of the Southlands, Arondir and Theo, along
the way. Meanwhile Not-Gandalf and the Harfoots (Nori being joined by Poppy in
the Gamgee-approved fashion) travel to Rhun (East, where the stars are strange)
where they are tracked by the minions of ‘the Dark Wizard’ (who gives off major
Saruman vibes, although he is apparently no ‘Istar’). Adar, ‘father’ of the
Orcs, will not let his people rest until he is sure Sauron is dead. Meanwhile,
back in Numenor, Elendil and Silmarien must deal with the death of her father
the King, complicated by her blindness and the growing treachery of Pharazon
and his confederates, and the anger of Earien, embittered by the apparent loss
of her brother Isildur. Meanwhile Durin 4 and Disa are suffering under the
displeasure of his father Durin 3 and certain damage done to Khazad-dum by the
eruption of Mt. Doom. But they might be reconciled by the offer of Celebrimbor
and Annatar/Sauron to give them Rings of Power in exchange for mithril. There.
All caught up plotwise, I think.
As I have said it has all the
flaws of the first season, baked in and repeated mercilessly. For instance, the
ham-fisted naming. They produce a hill-troll (visually interesting in itself)
and introduce it as Damrod. I’m sure they selected it out of the Tolkien hat,
as it were, because it sounded rather edgy and brutal, but it is in, in fact, an
Elvish name that was sometimes used by men of Numenorean stock. There is a
horse called ‘Berek’, probably meant to recall ‘Beren’, but identical in name to a hero
in Stephen R. Donaldson’s Thomas Covenant books, themselves something of
a ‘Tolkien clone.’ Inappropriately appropriated.
Then of course there are
just the complications arising from them not paying attention to the details of
the time scheme; of showing Galadriel as not being the wisest and most discerning
of Elves (as shown in the books) but having the hots for Halbrand/Sauron, even
after he has been revealed; of presenting the Palantir as essentially evil and
dangerous (though they pass this off as Numenorean prejudice about it being an ‘Elvish
device’); of presenting Sauron as having good motives (maybe) for what he wants
to do; of having the Harfoots gladly eating bugs and snails (an objective of
certain liberal agendas; are we being softened up to the idea? Well, it could
be a survival necessity in their case). We could easily guess what the next
cliched line would be (John was particularly adept at coming up with these premonitory
identifications), groaned at the writers attempts to produce high and ‘oldese’
phrases (somewhat inferior to better written fortune cookies), and pounced on
any ‘memberberry’ repetitions from the Jackson films. And so on, and on.
As I say, it was not good,
but somehow I found it more tolerable than last season. Perhaps because we had
lower expectations going in this time and were getting accustomed to their
level of mediocrity; perhaps because each hour-long episode seemed mercifully
short, with fewer of the languors (‘breathing spaces’, as they called them) that
plagued the first season. I cannot discount how much my disapproval might have
been mitigated by the pleasure of gathering with family and happily roasting
the show together. What I do not find tolerable is the idea that for a
generation this might be how they come to see Tolkien and Middle-earth. The
idea is equally distasteful whether they somehow like The Rings of Power
or whether they judge all things Tolkien by this poor production.
Wow. Eagles. Trolls. Giant
spiders. They’re just throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks. I
understand Tom Bombadil and Ents (particularly an Entwife) are coming up in another episode.
Bring on the Oliphaunts, and on with the goddam circus.
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